Child not eating school dinner

valk_scot

I'd stick with it. If you don't get at least part of a handle on this what do you do when it's time for Cub camps and longer school trips and holidays, when there's no option of a packed lunch? DD used to say she didn't like school dinners most of the time, I told here to eat the bits she liked and have bread and fruit (also provided) if there was nothing else to eat. She ate a lot of bread, fruit and yoghurt over the years but she would also come back every so often and tell me she'd tried something new and quite liked it.


Just make sure he has a decent breakfast and dinner and provide a decent (but not too exciting) snack for him after school. The thing about some (not all) fussy kids is that they have this idea that to eat something they have to really like it whereas I come from the angle that as long as you don't actively dislike it, eat it. There's a lot of foods in the middle that come under the "Not my favourite but it's okay I suppose" heading, that's the ones you want him to tackle.

Marmaduke123

I'd stick with it too, it will be best in the long run. You are lucky the dinners are free, it would be more of a problem if you were paying for something your child wasn't eating.

Are you sure the school allows packed lunches now anyway, with the free dinners having come in? I agree with not asking him what he's eaten at all, just don't mention it.

notanewuser

valk_scot wrote: »

I'd stick with it. If you don't get at least part of a handle on this what do you do when it's time for Cub camps and longer school trips and holidays, when there's no option of a packed lunch?

That reminds me of the folk that used to tell me I should wake my night owl baby at 7am "so that she's used to it when she goes to school"!

barbiedoll

A lot of kids are/were fussy eaters, my son (and myself!) included.
I realised a long time ago that the majority of fussy eaters are only fussy because they are allowed to be. Us parents, especially with a first or only child, pander to their every whim, by the time we get to the third kid, we just shove it in front of them and let them get on with it!

Of course, some children do genuinely have issues with certain foods and I know that the texture of certain foodstuffs can be repellant to some kids. Did anyone see that programme about babies the other week? It showed that babies have a natural distrust of green foods (e.g. vegetables), the thinking goes that it is a leftover instinct from our caveman days, some plants are poisonous so we instinctively avoid all plants until we know what is safe to eat.

My son was a much better eater when eating with others, especially when I wasn't around. His childminder got him eating all sorts of stuff that he wouldn't touch at home. And I know that when I started having school dinners (at the grand old age of 11!), I was so hungry by lunchtime that I ate almost everything that they put in front of me. And I was one of those who never ate gravy, custard or anything with "bits" in it.

OP, your son will probably soon start trying new foods when he sees the other kids eating. Sending him with a packed lunch is probably not a good idea, it just reinforces the notion that you are always available to cater to his whims, if he has no choice and he is hungry, he will soon eat what is in front of him!

I know it's a worry, but it really is incredibly rare for children to starve themselves by choice!

notanewuser

barbiedoll wrote: »

A lot of kids are/were fussy eaters, my son (and myself!) included.
I realised a long time ago that the majority of fussy eaters are only fussy because they are allowed to be. Us parents, especially with a first or only child, pander to their every whim, by the time we get to the third kid, we just shove it in front of them and let them get on with it!

Of course, some children do genuinely have issues with certain foods and I know that the texture of certain foodstuffs can be repellant to some kids. Did anyone see that programme about babies the other week? It showed that babies have a natural distrust of green foods (e.g. vegetables), the thinking goes that it is a leftover instinct from our caveman days, some plants are poisonous so we instinctively avoid all plants until we know what is safe to eat.

My son was a much better eater when eating with others, especially when I wasn't around. His childminder got him eating all sorts of stuff that he wouldn't touch at home. And I know that when I started having school dinners (at the grand old age of 11!), I was so hungry by lunchtime that I ate almost everything that they put in front of me. And I was one of those who never ate gravy, custard or anything with "bits" in it.

OP, your son will probably soon start trying new foods when he sees the other kids eating. Sending him with a packed lunch is probably not a good idea, it just reinforces the notion that you are always available to cater to his whims, if he has no choice and he is hungry, he will soon eat what is in front of him!

I know it's a worry, but it really is incredibly rare for children to starve themselves by choice!

Is it always a whim though? Is it a problem if they prefer broccoli to mashed potato or steak to chicken nuggets? I always avoided tomatoes and I didn't enjoy meat, even as a young child. At 11 I was diagnosed with an allergy to tomatoes and became vegetarian. I knew better than the people feeding me.

We are born with the amazing ability to know what to eat and to stop when we are full. We're programmed to prefer sweet things because they give the most energy - required when we lived in caves. Why are we so intent to tell children to ignore that and eat until we say so? A child won't starve themselves, but we do them no favours dictating either. All that happens is that they learn to suppress the natural instincts which leads to over eating and food issues.

I don't eat a number of foods. As a supertaster who also has preferences around texture if someone put courgette or aubergine down in front of me I wouldn't eat it. I don't put pressure on my daughter to enjoy everything I put in front of her either.

seven-day-weekend

I would give him a good breakfast and evening meal and leave him to it (and just think of that poor teacher giving up her lunch break). He'll either eat or not and if he is hungry he'll think twice about being picky next time.

sulkisu

Also try not to let it become an attention issue. I would stick with it but would try not to make too much of a fuss over what he has eaten and how much - especially in front of him. The teachers can do very little, apart from encourage him to eat, especially as they will have dozens of other children to monitor and supervise. The hard work will have to be done by you at home and will take time - he has been a fussy eater for a few years, the school won't be able to tackle that in a few hours or weeks.


I am curious about what steps you are taking to address this at home.

notanewuser

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I would give him a good breakfast and evening meal and leave him to it (and just think of that poor teacher giving up her lunch break). He'll either eat or not and if he is hungry he'll think twice about being picky next time.

Did you mean that to sound so sinister?

We're talking about a little boy, not a teenager!

moomoomama27

You have two options, send a packed lunch or persevere with the dinners.
I work in a school, and we do monitor what the children eat, and would mention to the parents if we were worried about their child not eating everything, however we WILL NOT force feed a child, we may gently encourage, but that's it! Also it's very hard to give a written report on each child, especially when there's at most 1 member of staff in the dinner hall (the rest covered by dinner ladies/men) to watch up to a class of 31/32!

While I think the idea of a free meal for KS1 in Englnad is a good idea, I do think that this should be exercised with caution, if a child really is very fussy, then for the sake f a few £ to make a lunch they will eat, then that would be the better option. Not having a meal at school, whether it be hot/cold, greatly impacts a childs ability to learn and partake in activities. The word FREE should, IMHO, not come into a decision about something as important as nutrition.

busiscoming2

I'd persevere a bit longer. I work as a lunch supervisor and it does take a while for some children to begin to eat a proper meal.
The new little ones are quite disorientated by all the newness. Don't forget they are having to deal with an overload of new experiences and lunchtime especially can be very loud and seemingly chaotic!
If it seems to carry on past the half term, then ask the teacher or office if they can ask the supervisors to keep an eye and report back.
Does the school have the option of a free packed lunch as this may be a solution.
Please remember that some kids just don't like to eat a school meal and prefer a packed lunch from home.