Child not eating school dinner

embob74

My child has started school and gets free school meals as does every infant now and we were given a 3 week rolling menu to choose the meal each day.
The problem is that he is a very fussy eater. We have been trying to address this but he would rather not eat if the options are not to his liking.
I completely understand that his fussiness is our problem but every day after school he has been telling me hasn't had anything for lunch (apart from when it was fish fingers and chips!)
I have spoken to his class teacher who said she sits with the children at lunch time so will watch him, she also said they wouldn't let any child not eat anything. Having spoken to her again she said she has been away on a course but would make a note of my concerns and that would be passed on as there were issues with the meal providers which they were monitoring.
So now I don't know what to do next
OH said I should just give him a packed lunch but if there is a chance he will eat better due to seeing his peers do so then I want to continue with it.
I'm quite bothered that the school don't seem to be taking notice of the issue and I haven't had any answers and I'm not there to see for myself what is happening at lunchtime.
I don't want to come across as an overly fussy parent but I do want to ensure my child is able to have lunch and is being monitored in some way.
Any advice on the next steps?

System

I'm quite bothered that the school don't seem to be taking notice of the issue and I haven't had any answers and I'm not there to see for myself what is happening at lunchtime.
I don't want to come across as an overly fussy parent but I do want to ensure my child is able to have lunch and is being monitored in some way.

Sorry but you cant force a child to eat if he doesn't want to. What exactly do you want the school to do?

Just give your child a packed lunch. Most schools make their child bring home any uneaten food so that you know what they have eaten.

duchy

If she's now back from the course see what the next week brings . Let her know you need feedback over what your child eats now she's back.

onlyroz

How fussy can he be? I've looked at the menu that my kids' school offers and there's nothing in there that could be considered remotely adventurous. Perhaps the best thing you can do for your child is to not pander to his whims and to teach him to take the food that is offered. He won't starve.

MrJester

Well there's only so much monitoring, and force-feeding (joke) the school can do. I'm afraid a lot of it is going to come down to your own attempts at home in improving your childs diet and tolerance of better foods.

I was like this when I was young, very very fussy, I wish my mother had forced me greens from a much earlier age, but I understand its difficult to force feed them the better stuff when their mind is set in stone and will happily throw a tantrum..

Slow introduction is required with positive reinforcement at home. (Don't eat your greens, no dessert or sweets etc for the day or the week, whatever! works!)

As Judi said, I would advise a packed lunch too, I know it's going to cost you but its worth it just so you can make sure and control what your child is going to eat. Through improvements at meal time at home, you can get your child used to better foods and then introduce them into lunch boxes, eventually hopefully enabling to put back on the school meals.

A bit of research is definitely required to find good meal ideas to get your child to eat better foods, usually its by trickery at first!
My mother used to get so worried about mine and my brothers food choices, that when it came to something like a roast dinner which we loved, just without ANY veg, she would do things like boil carrots and brocolli, and then use the water from it to add in with the gravy mix. It would have lots of little bits of veg in it but you couldn't taste it, pretty clever I'd say, get the veg in somehow!

Now I love veg as a side to any meal, but only through forcing MYSELF i'm afraid, my mother had lots of young boys to sort out so an easy meal and thus an easy meal time was the best option for her. Sadly it means my brother older than me still eats like an absolute child and doesn't touch veg or barely anything that's good for him.

Counting_Pennies_2

I would say stick with it. They wont let him starve. There is the free fruit that is available to them in the afternoon break just before coming home, and there is the snack you send him in with for morning break.


I believe all school dinners also has a side option of bread, so if he doesn't eat the meal given he will have bread as his back up to get him through to when he comes home.


Perhaps head to the playground with a box of raisins or other snack for as soon as he comes out of the door.


My friend's child was a terribly fussy eater. She insisted her daughter had school dinners. I have to admit I thought it crazy as she would come out ravenous and rather pale to start, but she soon followed the lead of the other children eating, slowly picked on the food and within a term she was eating every meal given to her.


It might be painful to start, but I would say stick with it.


In terms of what the school are doing don't be too harsh. They have 30 or 60 children all who have 'special requirements' that mum is concerned about. It is a miracle they get to do more than a register each day with the individual requests from home.

Happygreen

It might not be an option for you but when mine were little I actually joined them (helping the school out occasionally at lunchtime so I could keep an eye what was going on. The food wasn't great but the girls then knew that they always get proper food at home and that school lunches are to get them through until they are home. Maybe it was a threat that they didn't know when Mum would show up but I don't think so. Maybe yours just needs time to get used to it all? If you give her packed lunches she will probably stick to them.

quidsy

He'll eat when he is hungry. I would personally not give him a packed lunch. Eventually once he is hungry enough, he will eat his lunch & the fussiness will be gone. He's isn't going to starve to death, just make sure he is getting a decent breakfast & dinner.

maman

If I were you OP then I'd just persevere. The school will do their best (as his teacher giving up her lunchbreak to sit with them) but at the end of the day he either eats it or he doesn't. If he ends up hungry then he's caused that himself and maybe he'll be less fussy when he gets home or start eating a bit more at school or both. I think probably telling you he's eaten nothing is an exaggeration and trying to get you to give in to him.


Loads of children take packed lunches which are far from balanced and pick at those too, taking out the 'nice' bits and often binning the rest or giving it away to less fussy children.


I'd use this as an opportunity (and a mse one at that;)). Let him carry on with school meals and then make sure you give him a range of foods in the evenings when he's hungry.


I think the packed lunch option is just giving in.

MrJester

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

My friend's child was a terribly fussy eater. She insisted her daughter had school dinners. I have to admit I thought it crazy as she would come out ravenous and rather pale to start, but she soon followed the lead of the other children eating, slowly picked on the food and within a term she was eating every meal given to her.


It might be painful to start, but I would say stick with it.

Kudos to your friend! I'd say that's a good way of sorting it. If the child is old enough to realise that they are choosing to starve themselves then they'll snap out of it eventually, 'cause there's no sympathy and no one cares, the child will realise they will just stay hungry unless they eat what is available!

oystercatcher

Children are only at school for 6 hours, they won't die of starvation in that time ! Make sure the child has a good breakfast and leave them to it. As previous posters have said if they are really hungry they will start eating eventually.

All my three son's had fussy phases at primary school, they are all healthy grown men now !!