How to put my foot down?

Indie_Kid

Some people may think that you don't want reminding of the date your relative died.

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't know - the stepchildren in our extended family are treated like the blood-related children - just depends on each family and maybe the relationships between the parent/ex/new partners?

But if the parents aren't married, they're not actually step children, although some people may treat them as such.

Mojisola

missbiggles1 wrote: »

But if the parents aren't married, they're not actually step children, although some people may treat them as such.

We don't make that distinction. If the children are the children of one of the partners who are living together (married or not), they are part of our family.

family6

Mojisola wrote: »

We don't make that distinction. If the children are the children of one of the partners who are living together (married or not), they are part of our family.

Exactly, if they are living together and have a child together they are a family, whether they are married or not.
I have 4 children, I live with my partner, not married, and we have 3 children together. My OH has always treated my eldest as if he was his own, he hasnt tried to replace my son's dad, who he still sees regularly. None of this he's mine, they are your/ours, I would not have been happy with that.
Luckily for me, his parents were always very thoughtful to include my eldest as he was part of their son's family, Xmas pressies, easter eggs etc. I didnt expect this and appreciated their thoughtfullness but obviously its not the norm which to be honest I find very sad.

OP, I'm sorry you feel unsupported. Often people dont know what to say to somebody when their relative has died, even more so after 3 years. The work invite could be age related but clearly you feel it is an issue so you need to discuss this in general, including how you feel re his parents, I know this is sometimes easier said than done but if you dont it will only lead to even more resentment.