Live in Care versus Care Home

nad1611

CH27 wrote: »

This post totally changes the situation from what you said at first.

It doesn't change anything it simply clarifies and makes known things I didn't feel were relevant to my original thread until people asked questions about my brother and/or presumed he owned the house.

Mojisola

Your brother could ask the local authority to disregard the value of the house when the financial assessment is done because he has been a carer.
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/Documents/EN-GB/Factsheets/FS38_Treatment_of_property_in_the_means-test_for_permanent_care_home_provision_fcs.pdf?dtrk=true
The local authority also has discretionary power to disregard the value of the property where it is the home of someone else not included on the above list, such as a relative under 60 who has been caring for the resident for a substantial period or a friend who is over 60. The authority does not have to exercise this power but should give individual consideration to any requests to do so.

Mojisola

Brighton_belle wrote: »

In our family all of my parent's children have equal P of A, so such significant decisions wouldn't be in the hands of one person.

That's fine if everyone thinks along much the same lines. It can cause a lot of problems if the attorneys can't agree.

nad1611

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Gosh, that just goes to show how people can read things differently, I though the OP came across as very compassionate towards their dad's needs. And of course they have there own opinion on what might be best for dad: we all would have are own opinion wouldn't we in this situ?
The brother has done a great job so far and that needs to be acknowledged, but he didn't give up his life to look after his father, he came back to live with dad at 83 to rescue his own life by the sound of it, so the brother need to be looking to live independently somewhere else while the siblings decide equally of the best way to meet dad's needs.
Clearly it is now too much for him, but maybe he isn't as well placed as a regular carer in dad's own home would be to give dad what he needs at this stage, even if it is just for a few months. I can't see the harm in setting up home carers for a few months and seeing how it goes, giving every one time to research local home for the inevitable next step?


It's a very difficult time OP, as those of us who have been through it can tell you: it is never easy to see your parent deteriorate and then try and find the best solution.

Thank you you have read the situation exactly. My brother would actually be the first person to say he's not really equipped. As you say he chose to move home, well actually he was out on the streets so had no choice really and they would never have had ask him to leave so there he stayed. It was always going to be an awkward situation somewhere along the line.
I think he is probably panicking because if there's a live in carer his role is somewhat redundant and I think he fears others will ask him when he's going, which they wouldn't. The thing that concerns me is it seems to be his only concern and not whether or not a live in carer might be better for Dad which for me is the only concern.
Thanks everyone.

nad1611

Mojisola wrote: »

That's fine if everyone thinks along much the same lines. It can cause a lot of problems if the attorneys can't agree.

I agree. Although I think as awful as this all seem to me now, I'm sure we'll all reach an understanding.

nad1611

Mojisola wrote: »

Your brother could ask the local authority to disregard the value of the house when the financial assessment is done because he has been a carer.
www.ageuk.org.uk/Documents/EN-GB/Factsheets/FS38_Treatment_of_property_in_the_means-test_for_permanent_care_home_provision_fcs.pdf?dtrk=true
The local authority also has discretionary power to disregard the value of the property where it is the home of someone else not included on the above list, such as a relative under 60 who has been caring for the resident for a substantial period or a friend who is over 60. The authority does not have to exercise this power but should give individual consideration to any requests to do so.

Excellent might come in handy when the time comes.

Brighton_belle

Mojisola wrote: »

That's fine if everyone thinks along much the same lines. It can cause a lot of problems if the attorneys can't agree.

Oh definitely, I think because we knew we would always work through any disagreements (which are fairly unlikely) it didn't occur to any of us to not have all three of us with P of A.
I wonder if it could cause as much discord a parent choosing one child over the others, and then there's the risk of that chosen one becoming very ill/dying first etc.

nad1611

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Oh definitely, I think because we knew we would always work through any disagreements (which are fairly unlikely) it didn't occur to any of us to not have all three of us with P of A.
I wonder if it could cause as much discord a parent choosing one child over the others, and then there's the risk of that chosen one becoming very ill/dying first etc.

Trouble is with 9 of us it's difficult not to have a bit of discord but generally we see things through and work things out so am hoping that's what will happen here.

elsien

If the agency providing care now are happy to continue then it may be do-able. The sticking points tend to come when the person develops mobility problems and the agency then needs 2 people to help move them or the person with dementia becomes confused and aggressive. That's when an agency is likely to want to back off, because they have a duty to safeguard the health and safety of their employees and may not consider it safe for them to be lone working. Or they may find it difficult to get staff for the low wages they pay who are prepared to put up with it. (The person I knew who had 24 hour care, the staff did a week on and a week off, with the 2 hours time off a day. That's actually very hard work, and not something many people want to do.)
Worst case scenarios which may not happen, just something else that may crop up a bit further down the line.
You may also find that dad has unfamiliar agency staff going in if people off sick, or leave, or find 24 hour care too much for them. So you might want to ask overall how many different people they envisage going into dad's home on a regular basis, if the idea is to keep him as familiar and stable as possible.

nad1611

elsien wrote: »

If the agency providing care now are happy to continue then it may be do-able. The sticking points tend to come when the person develops mobility problems and the agency then needs 2 people to help move them or the person with dementia becomes confused and aggressive. That's when an agency is likely to want to back off, because they have a duty to safeguard the health and safety of their employees and may not consider it safe for them to be lone working. Or they may find it difficult to get staff for the low wages they pay who are prepared to put up with it. (The person I knew who had 24 hour care, the staff did a week on and a week off, with the 2 hours time off a day. That's actually very hard work, and not something many people want to do.)
Worst case scenarios which may not happen, just something else that may crop up a bit further down the line.
You may also find that dad has unfamiliar agency staff going in if people off sick, or leave, or find 24 hour care too much for them. So you might want to ask overall how many different people they envisage going into dad's home on a regular basis, if the idea is to keep him as familiar and stable as possible.

Thanks for this and certainly food for thought. I don't envisage this being a long term solution. I suppose it comes down to whether it's worth giving Dad more time at home. Whether the fact that he'll no doubt end up in a home, it's worth dragging it out.
Funnily enough Dad sees someone new nearly every day but the same each week if you get my meaning. The fact he doesn't seem to remember people it really hasn't bothered him at all when a new face comes in. As long as they're kind to him and smileandchathe's pretty happy. Having had my mum sat with him in the front room in previous years and always by him for 61 years, he does seem to respond very well to females much better to males looking after him.