Is this Right?

repsolblade

4 years ago I split from my ex wife, we weren't that well off I earned around £230 per week and she worked part time and eaned about £120.
Since we split I am now self employed and earn after tax around £400-£500 per week.
We have two children aged 11 and 6 and I pay £200 per month for them.
I have my kids twice a week and that has been really hard to secure as she has used them consistently to get at me, but that's another story and too long to tell here.
My question is this.
Do any of you think that now I'm earning better money that I should pay my ex-wife 20% of those earnings as she thinks she deserves, I now live with my partner who has a 9 year old and she works full time, and recives £140 per month from her ex.
I treat my children when they are with me and want that to continue, however, if the CSA take more money from me then I cannot do that, and as I was not earning this kind of money before, why should my ex wife be entitled to it, as it is she already uses that money to pay monthly for an expensive car that she's bought, it is clear that the money I pay already is more than enough to cover their costs etc.
Please give me your thoughts

Elle00

Am I the only one tempted to post "but surely you would want your children to have a better standard of life now your circumstances are improved"? What on earth do you think £200 a month covers for TWO children?!

Why are YOU and the EX the focal point in your post? It's child maintenance not spousal support.

repsolblade

My argument is this..
I can give my children a better life and future, because I can now afford to put money aside for their future, and their mother who is money and material motivated cannot get her hands on.
I'm afraid I can't explain very well here exactly what she is like but it is my kids that are losing out.
She will be the one gaining I can assure you, as the extra money would not be seen by my children or spent on them.
I have no problems with paying for them i just think that it is a bit cruel.
Ok? So I I've just won the lottery and I won £4M,
What do you suggest I do?
Give my ex wife half because she can look after the kids better??
Er, don't think so.
Do you think she'd give me half?

repsolblade

Elle83 wrote: »

Am I the only one tempted to post "but surely you would want your children to have a better standard of life now your circumstances are improved"? What on earth do you think £200 a month covers for TWO children?!

Why are YOU and the EX the focal point in your post? It's child maintenance not spousal support.

Just thought I'd add.
My ex is a real problem not the maitenance,
£200 pm, plus TC's plus CM plus her work plus her work on the side(cash) which I know she still does and earns about £100 per week.
C'mon it's not just men that cook the books.
I'm totally up front with tax etc, I have to be.
So i get stuffed.
And, I don't mind paying for trips, clothes, mobile's etc.
I'm a good Dad and proud of it. I'm just Miffed(muffled expresion) that SHE will benefit from my hard work, then my partner and I will not. So what's the point.
May aswell sign on.
I can see why so many NRP's do a runner

daisy_doughnut_2

i can see your point here but if she went to the CSA then they would take around 60 pounds per week based on you having them for 2 nights a week an there allready being a child in the home you live now
so its not that much extra really
that is based on you earning arround 400 pounds per week

http://www.csacalculator.dsdni.gov.uk/calc.asp

kelloggs36

repsolblade wrote: »

Just thought I'd add.
My ex is a real problem not the maitenance,
£200 pm, plus TC's plus CM plus her work plus her work on the side(cash) which I know she still does and earns about £100 per week.
C'mon it's not just men that cook the books.
I'm totally up front with tax etc, I have to be.
So i get stuffed.
And, I don't mind paying for trips, clothes, mobile's etc.
I'm a good Dad and proud of it. I'm just Miffed(muffled expresion) that SHE will benefit from my hard work, then my partner and I will not. So what's the point.
May aswell sign on.
I can see why so many NRP's do a runner

If I could count the number of times I have heard this arguement I would be extremely rich. it isn't an arguement that is accepted in law, so you may as well forget it. The law doesn't look at the other parent's income nor can it determine what the money is spent on so you should not be focussing your anger on this aspect - your children are with their mother and she already pays for them and you do too, but what she is asking for is that you pay the correct rate - there is nothing wrong in that at all.

However, you can work out what the CSA say you should be paying by looking on their website. As you have already 1 child in your household (which isn't yours so why they give a deduction I don't know - hardly fair on the existing child especially when maintenance is already being paid for that child) they first reduce your net income by 15%, then you would be charged at 20% of what is left. For every night they stay over with you, deduct a further 1/7 - but it must work out that they stay for at least 1 night every week so if it doesn't work out at at least 52 nights in a year, there will be no reduction.

aussiesbird

For what its worth repsolblade, I'm with you!
My partners ex is money motivated and and will do whatever she can to get more. The kids are well looked after at the moment but the CSA are asking for an extra 57% increase on what we already pay even though it has been based on non-guaranteed earnings (O/T & unsocial hours) This means we can no longer afford to take the kids places and do things with them when they visit like we used to, which has resulted in the eldest child being bored and would rather stay at home to see his mates (understandably). If the kids were not well looked after through lack of money then yes I would agree that the my partner should pay the extra as their health and welfare are more important than trips out. But, they walk around in the up to date designer clothing and footie strips and eat out at takeaways nearly every night! Why can't we be given a bit of slack so that we can continue to provide some kind of quality entertainment when they visit us? But the law states stipulates these rules so we have no option. The law needs to be changed to take these sort of circumstances into account.

DJoiner

Elle83 wrote: »

Am I the only one tempted to post "but surely you would want your children to have a better standard of life now your circumstances are improved"? What on earth do you think £200 a month covers for TWO children?!

Why are YOU and the EX the focal point in your post? It's child maintenance not spousal support.

I'm sorry but i disagree with you. I also think it's quite rude of you to criticise so when you don't know the full situation. I'm not very clued up on all things CSA, but I am a father of 2. My ex is also very material motivated, and as I've been advised on here, has been getting too much out of me.

Also, even when we were together, we didn't spend much more than £200 on both of them per month, and in this case the OP has the children 2/7 nights a week. My ex manages to spend much more than this now of course , but I don't think ps3 & xbox360 & sky tvs in own rooms are necessities.

missylou_2

Am not making a dig at anyone here so please be nice!

How on earth can anyone completely fund the upkeep of two children on £200.00/month?

Admittedly am not that brilliant with finances, but I can't make that cover the necessary expenditure for one child.

aussiesbird

There is an article under tiscali money stating that the average cost to bring up a child from birth to 21 years is £180,000!!

From birth to 21, the survey shows, the average UK household will spend £17,002 on a child's food, £12,352 on clothing, £11,086 on holidays, £9,592 on hobbies and toys, and £5,518 on pocket money.

This works out at £714 per month per child! What are we feeding them on caviar??? I think not, IMO this is totally unreasonable. The problem with todays society is that children expect the latest gadgets (PS3, Mobile phone, XBox 360 etc etc) and parents feel obliged to provide these. I believe it is possible to keep a child on £200 per month and I believe there are many parents out there who do it. We have to educate our children and ourselves not to expect too much. If you have the money then all well and good but how many people live beyond their means and get themselves into debt. Everyone wants what is best for their child in terms of material things but a loving happy environment is more important than the latest footie strip or games console.

lewt

missylou wrote: »

Am not making a dig at anyone here so please be nice!

How on earth can anyone completely fund the upkeep of two children on £200.00/month?

Admittedly am not that brilliant with finances, but I can't make that cover the necessary expenditure for one child.

oh dear.... get on the old style thread;)