Is this Right?

djdido2

repsolblade wrote: »

You need to get back on the ciggies and lay off the Hard Stuff!
Most men DON'T have a bloody choice when it comes to their kids upbringings, once they've left the "home" and as far as custody!
Have you ever applied to the courts for such things?
If you haven't may I politely point out that it can be the most laborious tedious and downright pointless task ever, because unless, and here's the thing. Unless you can PROVE without any doubt that the childrens' lives are at risk etc etc then you don't stand a chance because the court nearly Always favours the mothers!
And in that particular case I'm sure as in many there would sufficient alibi's to cover up holes!

Much more calm and less stressed and angry since quitting the ciggies so not alot of point there!!!???? .

What a load of crap!!! I know loads of single dads bringing up the kids because the mother has done a runner!!! Its not about gender its about responsibilites towards the kids.

You were the one to point out that your kids mother was not treating them particularly well or to your liking.

Zara33

We all have bad days...that's life many people on these boards want help and advice like yourself. I'm afraid until you can walk a mile in someone else's shoes then perhaps you shouldn't judge them.
Kelloggs might work for the CSA but she is a person with a vast amount of knowledge and she will help anyone.
I also doubt the CSA make NPR's suicidal there has to be something there before hand.

You as a father have a duty to support your children.

Zara33

repsolblade wrote: »

Ok, but have you read my earlier post?
My point is, without sounding bitter, trust me I'm not, I'm just angry!
How can it be justified that I, pay £200 per month and there is no problem with that, be then told to pay £500.!
Be honest, how can an increase of £300 be justified??
What about me? what about my House? My partner? My Future?
Shall I just forsake everything because that's what the CSA want!

I appreciate your angry my god i'm the 1st person to understand anger when i have a 12 year old son asking a million questions about his father, and why he wants nothing to do with him but at the end of the day anger will get you nowhere.
When your income increases so to does your child support, the same way if your income was to decrease or you lost your job then your child support would decrease.

kelloggs36

repsolblade wrote: »

The system is not fair.
You tell me WHY I should give my ex £500 instead of the Current £200, what has changed in her life to necessitate such an increase of £300?
Explain? Your children if you lived with them would benefit from your increase in wealth just as they would if your ex got an increase in hers
have my kids grown extra heads or become Elephants overnight?
You tell me that is fair.
That is my money that I work hard for and as for one poster that said earlier I should "pay for my ex and kids to have a better life"
Get a life! Why should I fund my ex's life. It's my kids I pay for not her!
And that's my point.
What's so hard about that?

As I said life aint fair! Why should your ex have to stump up all the extra when you can easily afford to help out in proportion to what you earn.

kelloggs36

repsolblade wrote: »

Exactly, so it's ok for her to squander my maintainance on New cars and fancy designer clothes!
And, what exactly is the correct rate? Because she's buying new cars etc she needs more to survive.
When are you people going to stop persecuting people like me who want to pay a FAIR rate for their kids, for Christ sake, if it costs that much, then give the kids to us Fathers who can actually add up and look after money.

The correct rate in law is the rate set by the CSA, under the current rules it is a flat % of your income depending on the number of children you have - with a decrease for children in your household that aren't even your responsibility. Under the old rules (where many cases still are) then it is much more complicated but based on a formula fixed in law. Therefore the rate you are being asked for is correct in law. It doesn't matter whether you feel it is fair, it will not change because of this.

repsolblade

kelloggs36 wrote: »

As I said life aint fair! Why should your ex have to stump up all the extra when you can easily afford to help out in proportion to what you earn.

And I can afford to give them whatever they want when they come to mine, now the CSA has taken that away from me and from them. Quality time with me will be compromised and severely destroyed. Happy?

kelloggs36

repsolblade wrote: »

4 years ago I split from my ex wife, we weren't that well off I earned around £230 per week and she worked part time and eaned about £120.
Since we split I am now self employed and earn after tax around £400-£500 per week.
We have two children aged 11 and 6 and I pay £200 per month for them.
I have my kids twice a week and that has been really hard to secure as she has used them consistently to get at me, but that's another story and too long to tell here.
My question is this.
Do any of you think that now I'm earning better money that I should pay my ex-wife 20% of those earnings as she thinks she deserves, I now live with my partner who has a 9 year old and she works full time, and recives £140 per month from her ex. I don't suppose you argue that his contribution is wrong though - if you thought it was unfair you should reject the payment. Double standards.
I treat my children when they are with me and want that to continue, however, if the CSA take more money from me then I cannot do that, and as I was not earning this kind of money before, why should my ex wife be entitled to it, as it is she already uses that money to pay monthly for an expensive car So her only income is your maintenance money then? I suppose you don't have a car then either? You will no doubt justify why you should be able to have one, but she shouldn't. Of course she has a right to live as much as you do but you cannot claim that every penny you give to her for the children goes on her. The children get the benefit of lifts in the car I'm sure that she's bought, it is clear that the money I pay already is more than enough to cover their costs etc.
Please give me your thoughts

You asked for our thoughts and you got them.

repsolblade

kelloggs36 wrote: »

The correct rate in law is the rate set by the CSA, under the current rules it is a flat % of your income depending on the number of children you have - with a decrease for children in your household that aren't even your responsibility. Under the old rules (where many cases still are) then it is much more complicated but based on a formula fixed in law. Therefore the rate you are being asked for is correct in law. It doesn't matter whether you feel it is fair, it will not change because of this.

You see... another legal hide behind quote????
I'm asking is it fair, that my life, my partners life and all the kids lives and our futures are taken from us?

kelloggs36

repsolblade wrote: »

And I can afford to give them whatever they want when they come to mine, now the CSA has taken that away from me and from them. Quality time with me will be compromised and severely destroyed. Happy?

The law is the law. Perhaps you should stop putting your energies into feeling so enraged about what you feel is unfair and focusing it on showing your children how much you love them when they are with you. as you have already dictated to others, it doesn't have to involve a lot of money.

kelloggs36

Oh, and the 140 quid your partner gets for her children is EXCLUSIVELY for that I guess?