My new boyfriend is a wonderful person but never offers to pay for anything

ecgirl07

anotheruser wrote: »

Why do people think he is gay?

Gay or Geek - Sheldon Geek:

skeldisco wrote: »

I have noticed that he regularly buys comics, book, CDs

Lily-Rose_3

I wonder where the OP is??? :huh:

skeldisco

Well you have certainly made your point. I guess we are more like friends and I didn't realize it. I realize this is something I need to talk to him about and just communicate more in general about our relationship. We actually don't go out that much and it's not like I don't know situation, but I guess I shouldn't be making a big deal out of the paying thing. I will definitely talk to him. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

bigmomma051204

OP - Dump him and get a man who wants you for your body LOL!

Oh and read the post about being pregnant and homeless nearby on the forum.... that should make you think twice about a guy who doesn't want to pay his way!

miss_independent

skeldisco wrote: »

Well you have certainly made your point. I guess we are more like friends and I didn't realize it. I realize this is something I need to talk to him about and just communicate more in general about our relationship. We actually don't go out that much and it's not like I don't know situation, but I guess I shouldn't be making a big deal out of the paying thing. I will definitely talk to him. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

The paying thing is quite a big deal though. You have invested financially in what you believed to be a relationship...

Even amongst very close friends although most of the time I'd go dutch with them, now and again we take it turns to treat each other. But he has never done that has he? He can buy comics, cd's etc but wouldn't buy you a coffee? It's not normal to not at least feel a bit of shame at taking from someone all the time. He could have at least made you a dinner at his or something to make up for the 30% you have invested.


On an aside, re. the gay suggestion - lots of people at work began to think the guy I mentioned was gay when months were going by and nothing was happening physically. They seemed to think he was gay and using the non-relationship/relationship with me as a cover. This angered me as he never did anything to indicate he was gay. I did consider the possibility that he was asexual or a virgin though but eventually, after talking to him I felt it was more that he is so terrified of getting hurt that he won't even venture into anything serious and by not having sex with me he could justify that he wasn't using me. But he was emotionally.

[Deleted User]

To be honest, with an aspergic 18 year old, I would wonder if there was something like that going on. My son wouldn't immediately wear a label, he talks extremely well, but social skills wise, he can be a bit strange sometimes. He'll have very good reasons but very few people will see it coming or understand why he reacts/doesn't react as he does.

Or your friend could have something abusive in his past that makes him reluctant to initiate anything physical, or to share in a more intimate way.

But to be honest, he may just think the two of you are friends.., you say you don't see each other very much..

The first person you need to talk to is him. Not us really, we are only guessing, he knows.Best of luck and hope you are able to work it out.

Indie_Kid

I don't think he has Aspergers. He sounds just to be very lazy. Hey, why bother paying for someone's meal when they will do it for you?

tea_lover

What makes you think he's your bf?

Alikay

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I wonder where the OP is??? :huh:

It's prob that troll who keeps registering under new names and then posting lengthy relationship dilemmas (no trademark "OK" or "So" beginnings to sentences this time, so he's getting smarter:rotfl:)

candygirl

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Now don't take this the wrong way anybody, I'm not trying to diagnose a problem where there isn't one ... but the oddness of behaviour / lack of social skills struck me as almost Aspergers-like.

Yep I thought the same