Boyfriend Woes

Bargain_Bette

I'm not sure what to do.

My boyfriend is the nicest guy (we've been together 18 months) but he always texts these girls he meets either through work or friends. I'm a pretty easy going girlfriend, but when he texts them every day and the girls are putting etc i start getting a little worried.

His texts come across as flirty and im not sure he realises it. It's made me quite paranoid and I get upset.

A few weeks ago this girl kept texting him and I said to him, it's odd don't you think, that shes texting you all the time and you have only met her once? He agreed and has stopped messaging her.

But last night his phone beeped and i saw a message from another girl and there was lots of messages about catching up for a drink some and the general tone seemed flirty.

Am I being naive when he says he doesn't see them as flirty, should I be worried? I do believe that he doesn't mean any harm but i think it's probably a bit of an ego boost for him.

I dont want to bring this latest girl up as i only saw the message pop up on his screen and i dont want him to think ive been trawling through his texts, as i havent.

Advice?

19lottie82

There's a good chance he doesn't realise he may be giving out the wrong impression. If a guy meets a single girl then they start texting each other, she may assume he fancies her and is looking for a fling / girlfriend.

It could be perfectly innocent, from him POV, but innocent or not, IMO texting loads of random girls all the time isn't an OK thing to do when you're in a relationship. It's disrespectful to you.

How would he feel if you were doing the same, with loads of different guys he didn't know from Adam? I'm not saying for one second that people in relationships shouldn't be able to have friends of the opposite sex, but I think you need to put your foot down about this one.

19lottie82

PS Does he text new guy "friends" with the same enthusiasm?

Bargain_Bette

Thanks 19lottie82, i have said to him the last time that i found it really weird that the girl kept texting him and he agreed and they have stopped messaging. I told him that i didnt mind him talking to her but the amount and content made me feel a little uncomfortable and he totally agreed and said that he wanted to stop talking to her as it was strange.

He always says he only wants to be with me but i dont get why he's texting another girl, with messages starting with "hey miss [NAME]" i read that as flirty. Does anyone else?

hieveryone

How is he meeting these girls? How are they getting his number? WHY are they getting his number??

Seems very bizarre to me, sorry.

Bargain_Bette

No, he doesnt text his old guy friends with the same enthusiasm haha

Bargain_Bette

He's meeting them at work or with mutual friends and I'm assuming they swap numbers

purpleshoes_2

Bargain_Bette wrote: »

I'm not sure what to do.

My boyfriend is the nicest guy (we've been together 18 months) but he always texts these girls he meets either through work or friends. I'm a pretty easy going girlfriend, but when he texts them every day and the girls are putting etc i start getting a little worried.

His texts come across as flirty and im not sure he realises it. It's made me quite paranoid and I get upset.

A few weeks ago this girl kept texting him and I said to him, it's odd don't you think, that shes texting you all the time and you have only met her once? He agreed and has stopped messaging her.

But last night his phone beeped and i saw a message from another girl and there was lots of messages about catching up for a drink some and the general tone seemed flirty.

Am I being naive when he says he doesn't see them as flirty, should I be worried? I do believe that he doesn't mean any harm but i think it's probably a bit of an ego boost for him.

I dont want to bring this latest girl up as i only saw the message pop up on his screen and i dont want him to think ive been trawling through his texts, as i havent.

Advice?

Sounds like he doesnt have much respect for you or your relationship.

hieveryone

Bargain_Bette wrote: »

He's meeting them at work or with mutual friends and I'm assuming they swap numbers

Sorry, but if my OH suddenly 'met' a girl at work or when out with friends and then suddenly started texting them, I would be very suspicious.

I actually think this changes over time right enough, I am going to assume you both are pretty young?

Alikay

That level of flirting would be a deal-breaker for me, I'm afraid. I'd be OK with a bit of face to face banter, but not following up with texts, FB messages, phonecalls etc.

Can't really advise, as some people would be OK with it - just letting you know that if you aren't happy with it, there's nothing wrong with you. Would he think it was OK if you did the same and had random males contacting you after nights out?

fufu_banterwaite

Is he REALLY good looking? Ie like the Fonz?