Boyfriend Woes

*max*

A guy in a relationship who swaps numbers with girls he has just met once is odd, and I wouldn't be comfortable with it (same would go for a woman in a relationship btw). One would be no problem, if they're ve got something particular in common, like a hobby or work specialty, and they hit it off when they first met. But several, that he only met once? That's really weird, and I'm not surprised you're not happy about it.

Maybe he is genuinely a very popular guy who isn't aware it's odd and sees no harm in it (there may not be anything untowards going on, after all), but he should be thinking about it from your point of view - and that of the girls he's texting! He's totally sending the wrong message to all concerned.

Bargain_Bette

Yea we are both 25/26 so young but not teenagers. Yes he is good looking, just like the fonz but blonde

Bargain_Bette

I just don't know how to bring up i saw another message without him getting mad and thinking im spying on him?

susieq87

hi, didnt wanna read and run.

first thing's first: expect what you accept.
2nd: your bf is not stupid, he knows what he's doing and like other posters said why is he swapping numbers with girls? does he swap numbers with guys too? if they're comng across as flirty its because he is flirting. men are not stupid, they just ACT like they're stupid but they know what they are doing.
third: you say he has stopping talking to the other girl, are you sure or are messages just being deleted now? do these girls know he has a gf? does he even mention you or is he just creating new relationships with girls and possibly leading them on?

i understand a man's need to have his ego stroked but that is YOUR job, he should not be seeking that kind of attention from elsewhere because thats where temptation starts, leading to him going behind your back. i would not be ok with that because there is really no need for him to be talking to those girls.

but if you are ok with it, then cool. i just think he's taking the mick

FBaby

Does he tell you openly when he meets with them, dies he ever incites you to join in? If it was just a case of swapping texts but being totally open about his activities (and nothing more than meeting up with other friends) Then I would be annoyed but not worried. If he is however secretive coming up with excuses about you joining in etc....I would definitely keep a very close eye on him ready to accept that the relationship is over.

Bargain_Bette

Hi Susieq87, I know that the last girl definitely knew he had a gf as he showed me the message, and he mentioned me. But havent read the messages between him and the new girl so not sure. I know he is FB friends with them and I am in his profile pictures (oh the joys of social media). Thats what got me with the first one, that she definitely knew she use to ask if i like what he got me for my birthday etc and then send flirty texts that they should meet up. STRANGE. but don't know whats happening with this newest one, as i only saw the message pop up on his screen recently and didnt want to read the whole conversation. I just dont know how to bring this up with him?? without him thinking I'm spying/untrusting

Bargain_Bette

Fbaby, i havent even heard of this new girl before. he does keep it quite. he did let it slip that with the last girl he met up with her for a drink with the mutual friend and he never told me about it. when i normally ask him about it he tells me who they are how they met and that it is nothing

Indie_Kid

I wouldn't be happy either. When I've met up with my male friends, they've made it clear that their partners do know and quite frankly, I wouldn't care if she saw the messages. Most of the time it's "can we meet up on... and do..."

You really do need to talk to him about this.

Bargain_Bette

Indie kid, yes i think so too, i compare the messages that myself and my male friends send to each other to his messages and the tone is completely different!! Im just not sure how to bring it up with out him closing up getting defensive and accusing me of reading his messages???

dandelionclock30

If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck and quacks like a duck its a duck.
Hes either about to cheat or cheating, sorry to say. If he was committed to you then he wouldnt be giving all these women his number. Hes taking the hit and miss out of you.
If you want an open relationship then that would be fine but not really if you want a committed 1-1.