Boyfriend Woes

ska_lover

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck and quacks like a duck its a duck.
Hes either about to cheat or cheating, sorry to say. If he was committed to you then he wouldnt be giving all these women his number. Hes taking the hit and miss out of you.
If you want an open relationship then that would be fine but not really if you want a committed 1-1.

Woahhhhhh Maybe this isn't so black and white

Unless I have completely got the wrong end of the stick, he has winked at a female friend - via text - and called one of them ''hello Miss <insert name>''. He is messaging other woman, Yes I get that, but it could well be friendly, and nothing further

I am female, and I wink at my female friends, but I don't fancy them . I have had long term male friends wink at me and not feel that they are coming on to me in some way - that would be laughable

OP you say he hasn't got the time for cheating, and is a sensitive bloke and feel he would be a terrible liar. That doesn't go hand in hand with him having a hidden agenda - does it? Unless there is far more than this to go on, or you can give us more details of the kind of wording he is using in his texts - the way you are describing him, I would say maybe benefit of the doubt is due in this case

tazzyb

You say he is rubbish at lying yet he is texting other woman, giving his number out and not telling you about it. So he can keep a secret.

As for having time to have an affair you obviously have seperate social lives to some extent (where he keeps meeting girls and giving out his number)

Sorry but I do not think it is acceptable after meeting once he is giving out his number. How would he feel if you did the same?

You say you are worried he will think you are snooping. My husband can look at my phone any time and I can look at his. The only reason I can see he would be bothered about it is he has something to hide.

If this was still going on in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years would you be happy? If you have kids and your at home looking after them and he is out meeting girls and giving out his number and texting them would you be happy?

This needs sorting out now.

bagpussbear

Bargain_Bette wrote: »

No, he doesnt text his old guy friends with the same enthusiasm haha

I think this bit stands out the most for me.

It's not normal, in my opinion, for a guy (or girl) in a relationship to hand out their mobile number willy nilly like that to members of the other sex, especially meeting them only once.

It does give the wrong impression, eg. I'm 'available'.

To be blunt, it sounds like he loves the attention from other females. I'm not saying he is cheating, but he likes the interaction of lots of other girls which doesn't bode well for settling down with this guy.

You need to tell him to put a stop on it. If he values the relationship and how seriously you feel about it, then in theory he would stop given he is saying its all innocent etc.

geoffky

He is a ladies man...Run...

pol-zeath

But you are spying on him by reading his messages, not blaming you for this by the way. He may know you are reading his text and your jealousy could be massaging his ego.
If you see him every night the chances are he is not cheating on you.
He seems a bit of a twit.... I cannot be bothered replying to my friends and families texts let alone random strangers.

tinkerbell28

Who meets so many new people regularly and immediately gives out their mobile number?

It sounds odd, it's more the kind of thing sexters do on POF. I know this from my dating days....I swear I don't do it :rotfl:

Anyway, are you one of those girlfriends that are so laid back you turn into a doormat? Don't do that.

It's all very odd isn't it really.

Oh and the see him every night so no cheating thing....well I've know people m/f cheat on their lunch, on the way home from work, on a run, on an extra day off, when working extra, etc. So that's no concrete proof.

sulphate

bagpussbear wrote: »

I think this bit stands out the most for me.

It's not normal, in my opinion, for a guy (or girl) in a relationship to hand out their mobile number willy nilly like that to members of the other sex, especially meeting them only once.

It does give the wrong impression, eg. I'm 'available'.

To be blunt, it sounds like he loves the attention from other females. I'm not saying he is cheating, but he likes the interaction of lots of other girls which doesn't bode well for settling down with this guy.

You need to tell him to put a stop on it. If he values the relationship and how seriously you feel about it, then in theory he would stop given he is saying its all innocent etc.

Agree with most of the comments but particularly this one.

Sounds like he is not cheating (yet) but that he is... keeping his options open as it were.

Similar thing happened to me, my then-boyfriend was suddenly texting another girl (who I thought he barely knew) and told me I was being possessive and paranoid. They became official about 3 weeks after we broke up. :rotfl:

If you want to settle down sometime in the future, you need someone you can totally trust.