Feeling Sorry For Myself

purpleshoes_2

Faith177 wrote: »

Maybe living in Scotland has rubbed off on him :rotfl:

Thing is it would be the same as if my mum was paying a mortgage and maintaining it he would come out the winner in the end.

I needed somewhere to live that was an avaliable option to me and my family and it suited us and continues too.

Had I moved into rented accomodation round by me I would be paying roughly £800 a month plus bills for a 1 bedroom flat. I wouldn't be able to have my animals I wouldn't have a garden and I wouldn't be able to do what a like with regards to decorating ect

If I was renting my house it would cost me £1300-£1500 a month again without bills.

There is no way I would have been able to afford to buy anything in my area ever as at the time my house was woth roughly £210K at 20 there was no way I would have got a mortgage any where near that amount.

Why dont you ask your brother for a contribution. Even part of what you are paying if you dont want to ask him for half.

Also, I know compared to the rest of the country Glasgow might seem like next to nothing, but average private rental prices in the town I live in which isnt that far from Glasgow are £350-500 for a one bedroomed unfurnished flat. Its not really next to nothing.

I know your brother might be in a flatshare and paying much less than that or paying for room only, but there are parts of Glasgow where people will pay £1000 a month for an unfurnished flat, it very much depends on the area.

We can all look at other people's lives and think they are so much better, Ive been there and done that so many times. But what changed for me was the realisation that I had to accept that my life with all its flaws was the only one I was going to get and stop comparing myself to other people and try and work on making my own life better.

If you want more money from your brother towards the mortgage on your home, ask him. If you think your husband should be paying more towards bills as he doesnt pay towards the mortgage, tell him.

Dont knock your head off a brick wall feeling resentment when you can actually change things.

LilElvis

Hi Faith,

I'm sorry that you are struggling at the moment - it's so disheartening when you feel like you are barely moving forward as others seemingly breeze by. The truth is that few people make it through life without bumps and hiccups along the way and one day you will suddenly realise that you have passed most of those who once left you in their wake.

You do not need to justify to anyone why you are delaying having a family. A child is a lifelong financial money pit, and you are absolutely doing the right thing in ensuring that you are financially stable first. If you need any affirmation then look at chloo's recent thread along with her original one. A new born baby, a partner with 2 other children, both on benefits, large debts and little responsibility - what a marvellous start in life being born into financial and emotional chaos.

You can put your mind to rest on one count though, and that would be to seek a proper medical opinion regarding your husband's fertility. I am assuming that, as his mother was with him, his 'diagnosis' came in childhood and as a result of undescended testes/ mumps or similar. Even if the prognosis was given by a specialist it doesn't mean that their percentages are even close to correct, unless a sperm assay has been done in the last year or two to confirm it. Fortunately impaired male fertility is far less of a problem than female and if a problem is identified then you can both discuss what change this might make in your long-term plans of starting a family and what can be done to improve your chances of success.

Hope the posts you have received are making you feel at least a little brighter.

January20

ecgirl07 wrote: »

I'm confused that OP bought her inheritance? The brother will inherit half a house at no cost, the op has bought her half now?? I must be reading it wrong...

Or the OP bought should have bought out her brothers half and mum give the money to the brother as his share of the inheritance early...

Actually, it sounds like the op bought half of her mum's house so she could remain in an area she likes, under the understanding that when the time comes the other half goes to the brother. Did I get that right op?

There is only inheritance once a person is dead. I am assuming the op's mum is still alive of course!

Faith177

January20 wrote: »

Actually, it sounds D's like the op bought half of her mum's house so she could remain in an area she likes, under the understanding that when the time comes the other half goes to the brother. Did I get that right op?

After all there is only inheritance once a person is dead. I am assuming the op's mum is still alive of course!

Yep that's right January It's just a family joke that i brought my inheritance so Im use to saying it

You lot have really cheered me up im still feeling a bit down but better than i did

January20

Faith177 wrote: »

Yep that's right January It's just a family joke that i brought my inheritance so Im use to saying it

You lot have really cheered me up im still feeling a bit down but better than i did

I'm glad to hear this

I was a bit concerned that all this talk about your house would annoy you and I started it! :rotfl:

ETA: sorry I edited my post a bit since you quoted me as spotted a mistake. I'm on my tablet. Not great for posting !

geminilady

Children are dying of cancer,people have no homes or jobs,could go on,if you don't like your life change it,feel sorry for your husband,maybe he should not have bought the bike but one day off in three weeks and you moan because he did no housework?

Faith177

January20 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear this

I was a bit concerned that all this talk about your house would annoy you and I started it! :rotfl:

Not at all

January20

geminilady wrote: »

Children are dying of cancer,people have no homes or jobs,could go on,if you don't like your life change it,feel sorry for your husband,maybe he should not have bought the bike but one day off in three weeks and you moan because he did no housework?

That maybe so but it doesn't mean that we must always ignore or forget our woes and our sadness and problems because others are worse off than us!

If your post is supposed to be motivational, it's rather a poor effort!

ecgirl07

Faith177 wrote: »

I brought my half that's right I needed it then and my mum wasnt in the postion to give it to me so I brought it my brother was 16 at the time much to young for that amount of money

Cool. Re the other stuff - set yourself some goals and targets. Go back to your driving lessons - find the £20 per week for a lesson - its money well spent in the end.

Faith177

geminilady wrote: »

Children are dying of cancer,people have no homes or jobs,could go on,if you don't like your life change it,feel sorry for your husband,maybe he should not have bought the bike but one day off in three weeks and you moan because he did no housework?

Just an FYI Gemini my mum is currently battling breast cancer as we speak so I know personally how it could be a lot worst

And I haven't had a day off in 5 weeks working 8-8 Mon-Friday 8-4 Saturday at one job the 5-11 at another on Saturday then 11-9 on Sunday but I still do housework when I'm home that's why I was annoyed

Also my dad was suddenly killed at 28 leaving my mum on her own with a 5 year old and a 9 month old