Old style birthday party:)

Queenie

catznine wrote:

The trouble with a chat forum like this is that it is not easy to make yourself understood in the way that you would like in just a few typed words! I am sure that we have all at some time been taken the wrong way when it was not what we intended at all!

Good point! We see no facial expressions, hear no tone of voice, take in no subtle signs of body language - it is very easy to take something the wrong way.

The only time a *real* problem arises is when someone is clearly being patronising, derogatory, or lacking in respect for diversity

Curry_Queen

Sarahsaver wrote:

so many people have got me totally wrong

Be offended if thats what suits you.

I couldnt have afforded an elaborate party anyways, I made that quite clear, people were wishing me luck at the beginning and now Im a baddie. :rolleyes:

I'm not personally offended by anything you wrote, nor do I think you're a baddie, and you do a great job in coping with your situation ... you've been an inspiration to many here

It was the unfortunate comment you made about other parents being jealous that didn't sit quite right, and I'm sure I wasn't alone in thinking that. Everybody has their reasons for choosing certain paths, whether we agree with them or not, but to suggest people might be jealous for not doing things your way isn't very fair

Pink.

Mado wrote:

There is a bit of irony in the term, I sometimes refer to my own like this.
I am not particularly resentful of that child.
However I would say she didn't ask "Do we get a party bag", she really said "Where are the party bags ?" like it was her due. During the party I had another one asking what the prize was for a game...

I sincerely hope none of my kids would go to an adult they don't know and talk like that, and I can assure you that as a child I MIGHT have made a comment after leaving the party but not ask directly.

Thankyou for your reply Mado,

I'm afraid that I failed to see any irony when I read your post. It wasn't the phrase in particular that I had a problem with, but the vehemence (as I read it at the time) with which it was said....I felt your judgement of that child to be harsh. I accept that you did not intend it to be read in this way. I suppose we're back to the printed word versus face to face conversation problem.

I too hope that my children would not behave like that........but from time to time they have unexpectedly said or done things that have made me want to curl up and die. I imagine that is how the mother of that child felt.

My point was that kids sometimes open their mouths and 'speak as they find'. Most parents try to teach their children manners and social skills, but no parent can be expected to pre-empt every possible situation. It has never ocurred to me to tell my five year old not to ask for a party bag, because I assumed he never would.........but I'll certainly make sure he knows the score now!

Pink

Al_Mac

My daughters eleventh was her last old style party, they grow out of games, one of the mothers said how much the daughter had enjoyed all the new games she had played. Never played party games at eleven:eek:

Really think people go over the top with party bags.:o

If any of this has already been said in this thread, sorry.:beer:

Sofa_Sogood

Sarahsaver wrote:

so many people have got me totally wrong

Be offended if thats what suits you.

I couldnt have afforded an elaborate party anyways, I made that quite clear, people were wishing me luck at the beginning and now Im a baddie. :rolleyes:

Sarah?

Haven't you had elaborate parties?

I know we don't see eye to eye, and I made a few enemies when I last posted to you (from some Old Stylers).

But can't you see that sometimes you act 'superior & intellectually rich' to everyone else, whilst being 'cash poor'? You look down on people that aren't up to your standards, yet take, and applaud, people that thank you for stretching the budget to a sometimes impossible limit. (That's my opinion by the way). If I'm out of line saying that, I'd rather be banned from Old Stylers.

I applaud some of the old style money savers, they have some great style money saving tips, which I send to my daughter etc. But I don't think people 'take you wrong'. You really do make bad comments about other people that they might not find acceptable and avoid Old Stylers. And all because they haven't hit a bad time ... like you?

You've had au pairs, had a great job, still have good technology, had fantastic holidays with fine wines etc. Does that make it right when you're now 'poor' but looking down at those same people? Of course not. But if someone criticises it, you should take it on the chin and accept it. Or argue against it.

And I'd rather take it to a PM than be drawn into a public argument. For everyone's sake.

But feel free to say I'm wrong in public, at least once.

Sofa_Sogood

Pink-winged wrote:

I think referring to five year olds as 'rotten bratts' is a bit strong!

It might be a bit strong Pink, and I'd have dropped the 'rotten' part, but I'd definitely have thought of them as 'brats' that needed a lesson in manners.

Luckily, you see it as 'kids speak'. So do I.

But not everyone does.

Sarahsaver

Sofa_Sogood wrote:

Sarah?

Haven't you had elaborate parties?

I know we don't see eye to eye, and I made a few enemies when I last posted to you (from some Old Stylers).

But can't you see that sometimes you act 'superior & intellectually rich' to everyone else, whilst being 'cash poor'? You look down on people that aren't up to your standards, yet take, and applaud, people that thank you for stretching the budget to a sometimes impossible limit. (That's my opinion by the way). If I'm out of line saying that, I'd rather be banned from Old Stylers.

I applaud some of the old style money savers, they have some great style money saving tips, which I send to my daughter etc. But I don't think people 'take you wrong'. You really do make bad comments about other people that they might not find acceptable and avoid Old Stylers. And all because they haven't hit a bad time ... like you?

You've had au pairs, had a great job, still have good technology, had fantastic holidays with fine wines etc. Does that make it right when you're now 'poor' but looking down at those same people? Of course not. But if someone criticises it, you should take it on the chin and accept it. Or argue against it.

And I'd rather take it to a PM than be drawn into a public argument. For everyone's sake.

But feel free to say I'm wrong in public, at least once.

OUCH! :rolleyes:

you'd rather take it to a PM than a public argument eh? Whats all that then. Just leave me alone.

Trow

Wow, I'm glad I'm not involved in this - imo this thread should be locked. An 'off the cuff' comment has been elevated to something far more than was intended (imo) and now it has gotten personal.

Things like this should be contained within PM's or left well alone - it does the site no good and the members no good.