F-time work and kids activities

moomoomama27

Providing you work mon-fri, is there any chance you could look into weekend clubs?

I work full time hours, but am lucky enough to work fully around my children, with the exception of 2 shifts a week, in which my hubby takes over! The majority of clubs mine attend are clubs run by the school, sports, arts and drama. They are free and they get to experience all sorts of things! Is this an option?

I know there is a lot of emphasis put on extra curricular activities, and if the children like attending that's good, but I do find alot of the time it's parents pushing them to go! Not saying that's the case with anyone here. It may be worth finding out what is available in your area/school and sorting out a timetable with your child.

My daughters used to do ballet, swimming, rainbows, brownies, ice skating, almost something every night! It hit home when I realised they weren't actually able to enjoy them as they were too tired, missed time with me and having friends round. So we scaled down to one club a week each and it worked well for us.

PlymouthMaid

It can be very difficult and without a car I would not even have considered any activities if working full time too. For my daughters' swimming classes I had a good arrangement with another parent where i did the delivery and they did the pick ups. Worked well.

deva

There is surely a balance here? Mine does some clubs straight from school- at school so I can then pick up afterwards. One club starts at 16:45 so I pay for her to go to after school club on this day where she gets fed. This allows me to catch up a bit at work.

We say no to anything on a Friday that we can't walk to, partly due to traffic, partly due to maybe having a drink or two!

I would continue for time being if it HAS to be this club but ask for swap to another time/day.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Spendless wrote: »

I have no wish to give up her place. Her drama school is full with a waiting list and the place would go to the next one on it, it wouldn't be a case of it going to someone locally, just whoever is first on the list. Nor, do I wish to change to a different drama group, as in the year DD has attended, she has had fantastic results, coming first in her category at a festival and has got a part in a pantomime. Sometimes Mr S can work from home as I said in my opening post, but if it falls me and him are working, either she will need to miss a class or be late

Yeah, sounds great. But sometimes what you want and what you get are two different things. You asked about what other people did - and some just have to make the decision that their child doesn't participate. It doesn't make them a bad parent and certainly doesn't damage their child - it may be too easy to think 'well, every key else manages, so why can't I? I must be the one failing', if you don't hear of the majority whose kids don't get to go.

iammumtoone wrote: »

I am sorry but your post has hit a nerve with me especially it being the holidays and I am working full time ds is missing out on lots of clubs/activities that are put on this time of year as he has to be at the nursery full time I have no one to take him to these things as they are only on a few hours per day, I feel guilty he misses out.

I do not have a choice, I and many others have to work, I am a single mother, what do you expect me to do, live off the state so I can take him to the classes. I tried for a year to get part time work, there was none so I took what job I could to stop claiming benefits.

I may have miss read what you meant and I apologise if I have but you seem to be implying that it is the parents fault for taking full time work that the children cannot attend activities. Believe me I would rather not work/work part and spend more time with him but I have a mortgage to pay! I do not have a car as a luxury if I didn't have it I would not be able to work where I do as to get public transport would mean I would need to drop ds at nursery before they open so I had enough time to get to my place of work, so no car back to having to living off JSA again and getting slatted on other threads for that, you can't win on here!

Rant over, sorry OP like I said I am feeling rather sensitive about ds being stuck at nursery over the holidays

I felt similarly - especially when, after a full day's work, I then had to catch two buses and walk over a mile to the place the afterschool club had decided to locate their holiday scheme. And then make two children walk and wait for more buses to get home.

I only ever took jobs that were close to public transport, and a lot of the time, would be sat on the bus in a jam consisting mostly of other parents who worked in exactly the same area, but thought they couldn't work without a car. It's a question of perception; if you don't have something, you do without, but if you do have it, you can't imagine the alternative.

I also think that, were your car to break down or be written off, that you'd find a way to get into work/find a different job pretty sharpish/get a childminder - the job centre staff wouldn't be very sympathetic to anybody signing on because they resigned when their car wouldn't start in the morning.


Oh, and guilt/feeling like your kid is missing out/you're being looked down on is part of the single parent's job description, just as it is for any other parent. It's human nature. I felt guilty that my kids couldn't do all these amazing things that parents with cars could sort out, that I had to make them walk in the wind and rain and snow when the parents with cars whizzed by happily, that I couldn't afford to pay for everything on offer, that I didn't earn enough after paying for childcare to be offered a mortgage or take driving lessons...the list is endless.

You can only do what you can do, and there's no point beating yourself up over it.

Spendless

iammumtoone wrote: »

I am sorry but your post has hit a nerve with me especially it being the holidays and I am working full time ds is missing out on lots of clubs/activities that are put on this time of year as he has to be at the nursery full time I have no one to take him to these things as they are only on a few hours per day, I feel guilty he misses out.

I do not have a choice, I and many others have to work, I am a single mother, what do you expect me to do, live off the state so I can take him to the classes. I tried for a year to get part time work, there was none so I took what job I could to stop claiming benefits.

I may have miss read what you meant and I apologise if I have but you seem to be implying that it is the parents fault for taking full time work that the children cannot attend activities. Believe me I would rather not work/work part and spend more time with him but I have a mortgage to pay! I do not have a car as a luxury if I didn't have it I would not be able to work where I do as to get public transport would mean I would need to drop ds at nursery before they open so I had enough time to get to my place of work, so no car back to having to living off JSA again and getting slatted on other threads for that, you can't win on here!

Rant over, sorry OP like I said I am feeling rather sensitive about ds being stuck at nursery over the holidays

It's fine, I'm married but when I lost my part-time job with a 3pm finish time due to my employer losing their contract, I was unable to find anything else part-time, not for hours where childcare is available, my youngest was 8 at the time, it was accept this jobs hours or nothing. I'm actually ad-hoc covering for holidays and absences, but I cannot say I can't work until 5pm or only do 4 days a week if a colleague is off, not if I want the work.

I have a car not only for the reasons you state of getting to and from work but also because I have an elderly relative with dementia I help out with.

Earlier on I did start typing a long post spelling out the logistics of getting to class but lost it!

What made me wonder what other f-time workers did re kids activites and how they actually got to them, is that last week dd went to a dance camp, my first question on hearing that she liked one of the dance styles and would be interested in taking weekly classes, was 'what time is it on?' as I suspected another 5.30 start time. I was relieved to hear that she'd go into the teen class, with a much more manageable 6.30 start. I found out last night where my child's drama class is moving to, until then we only knew teacher was looking for new premises, so again I thought to ask on here would perhaps give me some suggestions as a contingency plan just in case dd isn't moved to the older class.

silvercar

I would have thought that parents with younger children would be grateful to rota, as taking a young child out to do a pick-up run is just as painful as rushing around after work to deliver children.

jackomdj

If you don't have any helpful people who go could you pay done one to do it?

My DD's swim and we are lucky as a group of us have made friends and will take them if needed. We also take turns being in the changing room whilst the younger ones get changed so we don't all miss most of the older ones lessons.

gunsandbanjos

My daughter doesn't do outside school activities as there are not enough hours in the day!

I'm a single parent, we leave the house at 8 am, home at six to cook dinner. By the time we are fed there is no chance we are heading back out to do something. DD is 10 but really needs her sleep and is in bed by 8.30 on a school night. There is simply no time for clubs etc. at night. Though she does go to the after school club every day which does baking, sport, art etc.

onlyroz

No my kids don't go to clubs during the week and it's not something I'd consider. My son has piano lessons at school (£150 a term) and he also has swimming lessons on Saturday morning (£80 a term). Apart from not having enough time to cart the kids all over the place during the week I'm not prepared to spend more money than this - once he can swim he can choose another weekend activity if he wants.

liney

With great difficulty! Fridays were always best because most employers won't press you to work late and there are often early finishes.

Swimming lessons, tennis, and table tennis we found were available at weekends, but then that scuppers our plans for days out, so DS10 does afterschool clubs, music lessons at school and Tennis Camp in the holidays.