F-time work and kids activities

jaylee3

All I can think of it maybe go for weekend activities? There has to be quite a few.

I do agree though, that a lot of kids groups like this, do seem to assume that many mums do not work. Or that they all have a transporter pad LOL.

iammumtoone

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

They didn't do the activities.


So, basically, if you have access to a car, they're already doing better than a lot of kids, so enjoy their opportunities more than focusing on a slightly rushed evening.

In my case the club he goes to now is just about doable with a car he is always late and they have started the activities when he gets there but still like you say at least he gets to go.

Next year he will be invited to actual after school clubs I really don't want to think about that as he wont be able to do them as they will finish before I leave work and I have no one to collect him.

FBaby

This certainly has been an issue for me and been sorted by a number of compromises. Last year, DS did one club at 5:00 on Monday and I managed to agree to finish at 4pm. Wednesday activity is at 6pm, so fine, Friday, agreed with work to finish at 4pm so kids can go to 4:30 activity. What has helped in the past is that the kids often wanted to do the same activities then their friends, so I would agree with the mum that she would take all the kids and I would bring them back. At times, it's been quite stressful though as I can't always be sure that meetings will finish on times.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Spendless wrote: »

My full time working colleague says her child doesn't do activities due to the times needed, even though she does have a car.

Drama class is changing locations, and it's not going to be a case of just having ' a slightly rushed evening' for me to focus on. It's a case of I won't be able to get her there on time. At the minute I am hoping she gets a place in the older age group, but she's border line on the age, so it is dependent on spaces.

If she doesn't get into the next class up, it's a shame, but she'll just have to stop going, then. She probably won't be the only one, but they'll get new kids that previously couldn't get there in time at the original location.

missbiggles1

Sometimes it's possible to do the same activity in an closer location rather than choosing something that's the other side of town.

Spendless

I have no wish to give up her place. Her drama school is full with a waiting list and the place would go to the next one on it, it wouldn't be a case of it going to someone locally, just whoever is first on the list. Nor, do I wish to change to a different drama group, as in the year DD has attended, she has had fantastic results, coming first in her category at a festival and has got a part in a pantomime. Sometimes Mr S can work from home as I said in my opening post, but if it falls me and him are working, either she will need to miss a class or be late

summerspring

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

They didn't do the activities.

I don't drive, which automatically made me persona non grata with the other parents, as I didn't have anything to offer them in return. So they missed out.

Fellow non-driver here. I think we see things a bit differently to the majority, who seem to be rushing here there and everywhere trying to cram in as much as possible into the day so that their child never gets to be bored, doesn't 'go without' and gets to do all the things they want to do.

But these things of course need to be paid for, hence the need for the parent to work longer hours. Then if you work longer hours you don't have the time to take the child where they want to go, because you're working. It's a vicious circle.


Basically, something has to give. If you both go out to work full time you cannot be in 2 places at once, it's as simple as that, really.

iammumtoone

Flumina wrote: »

Fellow non-driver here. I think we see things a bit differently to the majority, who seem to be rushing here there and everywhere trying to cram in as much as possible into the day so that their child never gets to be bored, doesn't 'go without' and gets to do all the things they want to do.

But these things of course need to be paid for, hence the need for the parent to work longer hours. Then if you work longer hours you don't have the time to take the child where they want to go, because you're working. It's a vicious circle.


Basically, something has to give. If you both go out to work full time you cannot be in 2 places at once, it's as simple as that, really.

I am sorry but your post has hit a nerve with me especially it being the holidays and I am working full time ds is missing out on lots of clubs/activities that are put on this time of year as he has to be at the nursery full time I have no one to take him to these things as they are only on a few hours per day, I feel guilty he misses out.

I do not have a choice, I and many others have to work, I am a single mother, what do you expect me to do, live off the state so I can take him to the classes. I tried for a year to get part time work, there was none so I took what job I could to stop claiming benefits.

I may have miss read what you meant and I apologise if I have but you seem to be implying that it is the parents fault for taking full time work that the children cannot attend activities. Believe me I would rather not work/work part and spend more time with him but I have a mortgage to pay! I do not have a car as a luxury if I didn't have it I would not be able to work where I do as to get public transport would mean I would need to drop ds at nursery before they open so I had enough time to get to my place of work, so no car back to having to living off JSA again and getting slatted on other threads for that, you can't win on here!

Rant over, sorry OP like I said I am feeling rather sensitive about ds being stuck at nursery over the holidays

FBaby

I think we see things a bit differently to the majority, who seem to be rushing here there and everywhere trying to cram in as much as possible into the day so that their child never gets to be bored, doesn't 'go without' and gets to do all the things they want to do.

I took this sentence as quite critical of those who believe that activities are an important part of a child's life. I fall into the category of parents who put a huge emphasis on activities because I see these as opportunities for children to experience different things, and maybe developped specific interests as teenagers and then adolescents. It keeps them out of trouble, curious to see and do different things and as a result meeting different people.

It's not about cramming as much as possible, not about making sure kids don't get bored, it's about giving them the chance to learn that there's a big huge world around them outside of their home. I would much rather invest my money in tennis lessons for my children then buying them the latest tablets or sky tv so they can entertain themselves at home.

summerspring

FBaby wrote: »

I took this sentence as quite critical of those who believe that activities are an important part of a child's life. I fall into the category of parents who put a huge emphasis on activities because I see these as opportunities for children to experience different things, and maybe developped specific interests as teenagers and then adolescents. It keeps them out of trouble, curious to see and do different things and as a result meeting different people.

It's not about cramming as much as possible, not about making sure kids don't get bored, it's about giving them the chance to learn that there's a big huge world around them outside of their home. I would much rather invest my money in tennis lessons for my children then buying them the latest tablets or sky tv so they can entertain themselves at home.

But (getting back to the original post) the lady cannot physically be in 2 places at once! If she's at work she can't take her child to the club or activity. I can't see a way around that if there's no-one else there to help out with lifts and so on. She will have to prioritise either work or the drama club (unless anyone else here has a better idea?)

There's so much pressure on parents, I think, to provide the best (the perfect?) childhood and they often feel guilt-tripped into thinking they MUST take their offspring to these activities or they're failing their children somehow. The activities in themselves are great, but you obviously need to be able to get them there and back, and also for them to have the time to eat supper, relax before bed and so on.

So no, it's not individual parents so much as the rush-rush-rush society that I was being a bit critical of