Debt has ended my relationship :(

san1_2

exarmydreamer wrote: »

Hi, Just another suggestion, as you are CRB checked. Could you offer your services as a babysitter, dog/house sitter etc?, on your days off or evenings.

Yeah I am a teacher so fully checked out- I do this for free a lot lol!

san1_2

NICHOLAS wrote: »

Are you not able to increase your bank overdraft, it seems small at £499.

To be honest if i was you i would probably ask my employer for an advance on my wages.

Not sure the local authority give advances on wages- especially when I am paid by the day.

I have not asked for an increase, no. The overdraft has been £500 since I opened the account.

NICHOLAS_2

san1 wrote: »

Yeah I am a teacher so fully checked out- I do this for free a lot lol!

How long were you together?

I think money is often the reason relationships fail.

People are all 'i don't care if we have no money as long as we are happy' and after a while quickly realise that without money a healthy relationship is incredibly hard.

san1_2

NICHOLAS wrote: »

How long were you together?

I think money is often the reason relationships fail.

People are all 'i don't care if we have no money as long as we are happy' and after a while quickly realise that without money a healthy relationship is incredibly hard.

We were together just over 6 years. Would have been 7 years in December.

NICHOLAS_2

san1 wrote: »

We were together just over 6 years. Would have been 7 years in December.

I was expecting you to say something like 12 months.

Hope you get your finances sorted anyway and avoid blemishing your credit history.

san1_2

NICHOLAS wrote: »

I was expecting you to say something like 12 months.

Hope you get your finances sorted anyway and avoid blemishing your credit history.

No, we met at first year of uni! And thanks!

kiora

If you are in Scotland, consider looking into a trust deed, you will be debt free in 4 years and all debt remaining after that is legally written off, also means that creditors cannot chase you once it becomes protected. I have just gone down this route after struggling for years.

pmd123

Hi San

Firstly I'd like to say how sorry I am with how today has transpired, feel really bad for you having read your story, however, from here the only way is up, that's how I'd look at it.

Secondly, as others have said, please think very very carefully before taking the advice from NICHOLAS, while it may have worked for him, and he has managed to avoid his debts, do you really want to spend the next 6 years running and hiding, being worried every time the phone rings, or someone knocks on the door, in the fear that one of your creditors has tracked you down.

More realistically, one or more of them will be taking you to court and obtaining a CCJ, meaning statute barred will never happen, and your credit rating will still be trashed.

The advice to speak to step change or the national debt helpline is the best you will get, they will give you options and potential ways out of the mess you have found, a couple of months down the line, you'll be feeling a lot more positive, hopefully a lot happier, and when your OH has digested the last couple of days, they may feel differently about things.

Really wish you good luck with this, hope you stick with the forum, and keep us updated on how you get through this.

Paul x

PDF

I haven't got any advice that hasn't already been given but just wanted to say good luck and please keep coming on here. Don't bury your head in the sand.

san1_2

pmd123 wrote: »

Hi San

Firstly I'd like to say how sorry I am with how today has transpired, feel really bad for you having read your story, however, from here the only way is up, that's how I'd look at it.

Secondly, as others have said, please think very very carefully before taking the advice from NICHOLAS, while it may have worked for him, and he has managed to avoid his debts, do you really want to spend the next 6 years running and hiding, being worried every time the phone rings, or someone knocks on the door, in the fear that one of your creditors has tracked you down.

More realistically, one or more of them will be taking you to court and obtaining a CCJ, meaning statute barred will never happen, and your credit rating will still be trashed.

The advice to speak to step change or the national debt helpline is the best you will get, they will give you options and potential ways out of the mess you have found, a couple of months down the line, you'll be feeling a lot more positive, hopefully a lot happier, and when your OH has digested the last couple of days, they may feel differently about things.

Really wish you good luck with this, hope you stick with the forum, and keep us updated on how you get through this.

Paul x

Thanks Paul, I do intend to pay everything I owe. I plan to get rid of my mobile phone contract as I can now cancel. Will use some of the money I raised today to pay it off so that it is gone and one less bill to worry about.

I guess the split today makes it easy for me to avoid going to the wedding for which I have refunded the outfit today- it is a family member of OH and I cant really face it.

Tomorrow, I will call the council about where I will be working as of next week- I am entitled to at least 2 days work. I will then cancel my phone and arrange for the final direct debit to come from my old unused bank account. Then I will drop off the letter to ask for my wages to be paid into this old bank account.