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Feeling sad

Hi I would like some advice or opinions please
Tomorrow will be the anniversary of the day my dad died
I am feeling very sad.....
I want to spend the day walking on the beach
My two teenagers just returned home from weekend at their dad's in their usual huffy mood, I mentioned to youngest (13) about going to beach tomorrow but she doesn't want to
I still have my mum (parents were divorced) and I am torn, do I spend the morning on my own at the beach or do I spend it with the people who are still here, I just don't want to have to explain why I am upset. Any advice or opinions please?
The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.:o

A winner listens, a loser just waits until it is their turn to talk:)
«134

Comments

  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Go to the beach.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • victory
    victory Posts: 16,188 Forumite
    Hi I would like some advice or opinions please
    Tomorrow will be the anniversary of the day my dad died
    I am feeling very sad.....
    I want to spend the day walking on the beach
    My two teenagers just returned home from weekend at their dad's in their usual huffy mood, I mentioned to youngest (13) about going to beach tomorrow but she doesn't want to
    I still have my mum (parents were divorced) and I am torn, do I spend the morning on my own at the beach or do I spend it with the people who are still here, I just don't want to have to explain why I am upset. Any advice or opinions please?

    Do whatever gives you memories, creates calm, makes you feel better, prepare yourself for the overwhelming grief you will experience, if you want to be on the beach, go to the beach, invite them if they say no, go, if they come they come, whatever you need to do, do it, no teenager will properly understand how much pain you will feel in right now until they experience themselves many many years down the line, you do what makes you survive the day:)
    misspiggy wrote: »
    I'm sure you're an angel in disguise Victory :)
  • littleredhen
    littleredhen Posts: 3,357 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Maybe I should have done a voting poll!
    The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.:o

    A winner listens, a loser just waits until it is their turn to talk:)
  • krlyr
    krlyr Posts: 5,993 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Why not have some time to yourself in the morning, and some family time in the evening?
  • aggypanthus
    aggypanthus Posts: 1,579 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Go to the beach, unless your mum wants your company.Leave the kids as they wont understand your grief.
  • azzabazza
    azzabazza Posts: 1,072 Forumite
    If you feel you want to go to the beach, go. If you don't then you are more likely to feel even sadder if that is possible.

    Special thoughts xx
  • victory
    victory Posts: 16,188 Forumite
    Maybe I should have done a voting poll!

    GO to the beach would have been voted top:D
    misspiggy wrote: »
    I'm sure you're an angel in disguise Victory :)
  • splishsplash
    splishsplash Posts: 3,055 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Have you reminded your children that it's their grandfather's anniversary tomorrow and a little time together reflecting on his life and your loss would be both a mark of respect to him and a support to you?

    They may not even be aware.

    A walk on the beach sounds perfect.
    I'm an adult and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want and I wish someone would take this power from me.
    -Mike Primavera
    .
  • littleredhen
    littleredhen Posts: 3,357 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    victory wrote: »
    GO to the beach would have been voted top:D

    My dad loved the sea and going on cruises
    I love the beach
    Last year my sister and I were talking about my dad (after he has died) and she saw a butterfly, it landed on the kitchen window, she burst into tears and said whenever our dad visited, he used to go out for a smoke and pop his head round the kitchen window. She said it was daft to cry just seeing a butterfly landing on the glass. A day or so later I went to the beach, I saw a butterfly land on the sand, not something I can say I have ever seen before or noticed, I rang my sister and we laughed and cried, it was the same kind of butterfly.
    The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.:o

    A winner listens, a loser just waits until it is their turn to talk:)
  • littleredhen
    littleredhen Posts: 3,357 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Have you reminded your children that it's their grandfather's anniversary tomorrow and a little time together reflecting on his life and your loss would be both a mark of respect to him and a support to you?

    They may not even be aware.

    A walk on the beach sounds perfect.

    I talked to youngest last week, she came to funeral and really supported me, my dad didn't live near us so they didn't see him often. The eldest and I don't get on at the moment, she was very offhand last year when I broke the news, I know I was sobbing but she just looked at me and shrugged
    The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.:o

    A winner listens, a loser just waits until it is their turn to talk:)
This discussion has been closed.
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