Feeling sad

oystercatcher

littleredhen wrote: »

I think that is what I am struggling with, they are still here but I don't think I want to be with them, but that feels wrong, does that make any sense?

It makes complete sense. You need to work through your own feelings which they don't understand and aren't part of at the moment. That doesn't mean you don't love them and won't return.

Maybe it's a kind of pilgrimage that you need to make ... ?

Pickle29

Go to the beach, throw stones in the sea, talk to him, have a good cry ...
Then when you come home, give the kids a cuddle and you will be glad you did what you wanted ( and they did what they wanted too) xx
Thinking bout u xxx

Sue.D.Nim

Go to the beach. Have a walk/run/think/cry/99 cone. Then pick up take away on the way home as a treat for you all to enjoy together. A nice surprise for them.

I'll say this as a former teenager, it is hard to even understand your own feelings at that time, even worse when your parent is having feelings about anything at all and you don't know what to say to them or how you're supposed to act. So you ignore it or say something glib and inappropriate.

Have a peaceful day and try not to over think anything else. Yes, there are people still here, and they will be here for much more time to come. You can't be worrying about the what ifs.

victory

I hope you are at the beach today, thinking about you, you are going to have an overwhelming rush of emotions today, you are just going to have to go with them, they do settle, they do become calmer, if you cannot get past them I highly recommend CBT, I hope you can cope today:D

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx

or bereavement theraphy

http://www.cruse.org.uk/

picklekin

Its a good day to be at the beech, some sun and some atmospheric clouds.. I hope it brought you some peace. x

hazyjo

Was two years since we lost my lovely dad last Sunday. Was sobbing in the morning (after opening FB and seeing my nieces had both put pics up of him - they were all extremely close to their granddad) and realised I just had to get out.


Me & the BF went for a lovely walk round Hertford and it did me the world of good. I now have some nice memories of a horrible day. I came back saying what a lovely day I'd had actually - and no more tears later.


I will always do something on that day and will book it off work when it doesn't fall on a weekend.


Go to the beach Don't forget tissues and large sunnies to hide the tears.


Hugs.


Jx

littleredhen

Thanks to all you lovely people who replied, thought I would let you know what I did (if you're interested!)
Drove to the beach
Went to a jewellers, bought a pretty necklace, my dad left me some money, so thought I would treat myself
Bought a sandwich
Walked along the beach
Climbed the hill and to a secluded bench looking down at the beach and the sea and the town, cried when I saw the butterfly
Walked into the town with a butterfly following me down the road
Bought a delicious homemade ice cream (yes it was a 99!)
Wrote a postcard to my sister although we had exchanged emails earlier in the day, to tell her I wished she were with me, texted a photo of the view from the bench.
Walked back along the beach and let the tears flow as I splashed in the sea
Drove home, checked on the kids,
Bought my mum some flowers, took them to her, we cried together
Drove home and took youngest out for pizza
I am home now and feel at peace, thanks to you all for caring enough to reply:)

whitewing

It sounds perfect.

littleredhen

It was a beautiful sunny day and I told myself my dad would be cross if I sat at home all day and cried, the kids would never get it either, I am so glad I did all those things although it took some deep breaths to get through it, like hazyjo said, I will do something every year although I do prefer to remember him by marking his birthday rather than the day he died, but it's still early days so just have to work through it, it so comforting to know people care, and the suggestions on here was just what I needed x

fivetide

What a great way to remember. Thanks for sharing and glad you feel better.