Feeling sad

victory

littleredhen wrote: »

My dad loved the sea and going on cruises
I love the beach
Last year my sister and I were talking about my dad (after he has died) and she saw a butterfly, it landed on the kitchen window, she burst into tears and said whenever our dad visited, he used to go out for a smoke and pop his head round the kitchen window. She said it was daft to cry just seeing a butterfly landing on the glass. A day or so later I went to the beach, I saw a butterfly land on the sand, not something I can say I have ever seen before or noticed, I rang my sister and we laughed and cried, it was the same kind of butterfly.

Listen if you near me I will come with you:), I know what you are going through, smarts a bit doesn't it? but you will get through it, everyone says it does it better and it really does, at the moment it is all you can think about it but it will lessen, you just have to ride the very choppy waters first.....

littleredhen

victory wrote: »

Listen if you near me I will come with you:), I know what you are going through, smarts a bit doesn't it? but you will get through it, everyone says it does it better and it really does, at the moment it is all you can think about it but it will lessen, you just have to ride the very choppy waters first.....

Thanks victory
Mostly it's ok, but Sundays are hard cos we used to speak every Sunday and it would have been his 80th birthday in November
I mostly think of him and smile, he wouldn't want me to be sitting here crying but I can't believe a whole year has gone by

Spirit_2

Another vote for going to the beach. By yourself.

Have some time to walk, think of your dad, cry a bit and please yourself.

Your children will be fine.

On this occassion but yourself and time to reflect about your dad first.

aggypanthus

Choose a large stone and paint a butterfly on it, use cheap acrylic paints, get one for you sister too.

victory

littleredhen wrote: »

Thanks victory
Mostly it's ok, but Sundays are hard cos we used to speak every Sunday and it would have been his 80th birthday in November
I mostly think of him and smile, he wouldn't want me to be sitting here crying but I can't believe a whole year has gone by

It is the worst, the absolute pits ...

victory

littleredhen wrote: »

I talked to youngest last week, she came to funeral and really supported me, my dad didn't live near us so they didn't see him often. The eldest and I don't get on at the moment, she was very offhand last year when I broke the news, I know I was sobbing but she just looked at me and shrugged

That kind of reaction was truly awful for you but maybe the eldest did not know him enough/see him enough/was in touch with her emotions enough to know how to react properly?

littleredhen

victory wrote: »

That kind of reaction was truly awful for you but maybe the eldest did not know him enough/see him enough/was in touch with her emotions enough to know how to react properly?

Yes I do understand but I found it really hard to deal with and I guess in some ways still do, everyone deals with grief in their own way I guess

oystercatcher

I vote for the beach alone.

Maybe ask the family if you can do something nice together when you return so you can feel close to them.

littleredhen

oystercatcher wrote: »

I vote for the beach alone.

Maybe ask the family if you can do something nice together when you return so you can feel close to them.

I think that is what I am struggling with, they are still here but I don't think I want to be with them, but that feels wrong, does that make any sense?

victory

littleredhen wrote: »

I think that is what I am struggling with, they are still here but I don't think I want to be with them, but that feels wrong, does that make any sense?

Complete sense and it is a perfectly normal feeling to feel