Household chores - curious about opinions

PenguinJim

splishsplash wrote: »

Likewise with bedding - if you like to change your bedding once a week and your partner prefers to wait until the covers walk to the laundry basket by themselves, where do you draw the line?

I don't even think my partner knows the bedsheets get washed! They just magically change colour once a week. And the concept of a "hot wash" for towels and sheets is lost on her - everything just goes in for the 17-minute eco wash.

Needless to say, I do most of the washing. But generally, we just do what we can when we have the time. One thing that I sometimes notice is how polite we still are, though - almost any little standard chore will result in a "thank you" from the other, which I hope we won't lose over time.

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Remember, many men have had mummy doing everything for them, and so the natural order is for little wifey/female partner to do it for them, once they've got them living with them. This is what happens, more often than not.

You're saying that mummies tend to clean up for their sons, but not for their daughters? Your idea that women are so sexist has certainly given me food for thought.

Perhaps in future, mothers will be less sexist, and we will have more equality? (Assuming you're right about this root cause, of course!)

VestanPance

Well my mum certainly didn't run about after me. From a young age you were told to pull your weight in the house. Maybe due to that I always did housework and would never expect or let anyone run about after me. I wouldn't even entertain the thought of hiring a cleaner.

In fact with my ex I did more housework than she did. She would have been happy to pile a ton of work up for a month them blitz it, while I always stayed on top of things and can't live in filth.

I have met a few man-children and women-children though. Including men and women in their 30/40's who still get their mothers to come around and clean their home for them and go to the parents for diner as they can't be bothered cooking and mummy will do it anyway! :eek:

trailingspouse

I think what matters more is how much free time each partner has. If one person is still doing stuff at 8 in the evening while the other has had their feet up since 6, then there's something wrong. As to who does what, it all needs doing so it doesn't matter much who does it - so long as the free time is roughly equal.

At the moment I'd doing everything - OH is unwell, and although he's still managing to work 3 days a week, he has a 90 minute drive each way on top, and it pretty much wipes him out for the rest of the week. He is however, appreciative of what I do, and I'm appreciative of the effort it takes for him to work even 3 days a week. A little bit of appreciation goes a long long way.

aileth

All the clothes get washed together, all the pots get washed together. I cook, he washes up. If a room is messy, it'll get cleaned up by whoever is off. If, say, family members are visiting and the house has to be better than just 'clean', we assign each other rooms and get to it.

We do however have assignments, for example he is in charge of the garden & DIY, I'm in charge of groceries & finances.

Tenyearstogo

I do all the housework but I don't work and my husband does.

My husband makes the lunches at weekends but I do all the cooking.

My husband does put the youngest to bed, but he's eight so it not too much of a chore.

My husband always used to get up in the night with the youngest because I was working nights or playing catchup on a missed sleep.

When we were both working full time I did all the cooking and meal planning, hubby did the shopping. I organised the finances etc, I took youngest to and from school, sorted the childcare out.

We shared the housework although I did all the washing but paid for an ironing lady.

I didn't feel it was a fair split but hubby did. Only when he took on my role did he see how stressful the childcare side was. He never had to work to a the childcare times and his own working hours.

Poorer but much happier now.

zaksmum

My O/H used to work 12 hour days, usually 7 days a week. I did absolutely all of the household chores as I'm disabled and didn't work.

He's retired now and old habits die hard.

He still does not lift a finger around the house beyond offering to make an occasional cup of tea, or cook his own meals as he doesn't fancy what's on offer.

Leaving the kitchen looking like a bomb's hit it, of course. Even though I'd previously tidied it all up, it then takes me another hour restoring order after he's made the most unholy mess. He even leaves cupboards and the fridge wide open after he's been at them!

picklekin

Being in a couple should mean you are greater than the sum of its parts... One of the huge benefits is that there are certain jobs I like (cooking!) and certain jobs I hate (hoovering) and lots I don't mind.. I do the ones I like, and some of the ones I don't mind. My OH doesn't hate hoovering so its all good. My OH similarly wins because there are things he hates (oddly, grating cheese...) and things he likes (washing up... weirdo).

In all I do more because I work shorter hours and less days, but even in that I "win" because if I get stuff done we have the weekend to enjoy together

Faith177

I do pretty much everything in the house we both work long hours and 7 days a week but OH works more than me so I pick up the slack really

Our housemate will help out on his day off but like me and OH he works long hours so is limited in what he can do.

I tend to have 2 hours a night free to do my chores and if im lucky and finish at 5 or a Saturday and Sunday then I'm able to do a bit more

OH will do stuff on the rare occasion he gets a day off
he will do a little bit for me but tbh he hardly gets a day off so he normally spends it catching up on personal jobs ie shopping, bank, haircuts things like that.

Hopefully with his new job it will even up as he wont be working 7 days a week any more and doing 15-20 hour shifts (fingers crossed)

CosmicCathy

tricky one - we dont have cut and dried ways of doing it. Though one thing we always stick to is I cook and he washed up!

heartbreak_star

We just crack on with it. I probably do more cooking but I can't remember the last time I emptied a bin, and similarly he never notices that occasionally we could grow spuds in the bath (OK, maybe not quite that bad!), but I couldn't tell you how to work our hoover.

Laundry gets piled in a hamper and done when there's a full load, washing up gets done when needed, by whoever's there.

Works for us.

HBS x