Household chores - curious about opinions

GobbledyGook

I think a basic 50:50 split doesn't always work.

People have different standards for starters. My best friend irons everything. If we lived together there would be no way I was ironing half of the bedlinen and towels because imo life is too short.

So you can have disparity for that, but also people are home for different lengths of time. This week I have been, and will be, home all week (admittedly with the children) - OH has been doing 12 hour days. Expecting him to do 50:50 with the cooking and cleaning would make no sense.

Plus you get people who enjoy it, some who'd rather do it themselves as their partner doesn't do it "right" and loads of other reasons. As long as both people are happy then surely it doesn't matter if it's 50:50 or 80:20?

lostinrates

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Plus you get people who enjoy it, some who'd rather do it themselves as their partner doesn't do it "right" and loads of other reasons. As long as both people are happy then surely it doesn't matter if it's 50:50 or 80:20?

There are times my DH has done everything when I am physically unable too. No one has mentioned health impacts, disability or when one partner balances working with a caring role. At other times. I've done everything at home because he isn't here, living overseas. ( some jobs I cannot do have piled up)

Lily-Rose_3

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I think a basic 50:50 split doesn't always work.

People have different standards for starters. My best friend irons everything. If we lived together there would be no way I was ironing half of the bedlinen and towels because imo life is too short.

So you can have disparity for that, but also people are home for different lengths of time. This week I have been, and will be, home all week (admittedly with the children) - OH has been doing 12 hour days. Expecting him to do 50:50 with the cooking and cleaning would make no sense.

Plus you get people who enjoy it, some who'd rather do it themselves as their partner doesn't do it "right" and loads of other reasons. As long as both people are happy then surely it doesn't matter if it's 50:50 or 80:20?

:T Good post GG.

(Good post from Lost-in-rates too.)

Georgiegirl256

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Plus you get people who enjoy it, some who'd rather do it themselves as their partner doesn't do it "right" and loads of other reasons. As long as both people are happy then surely it doesn't matter if it's 50:50 or 80:20?

I think this sums it up very well. As long as a couple are happy with the division and it works for them then that's all that matters. It's when one of the partnership starts taking the other for granted that problems arise.

When I was working I would say the split was more 50/50, but now that I'm not, I do the majority of it as it would be unfair to expect my husband to start after doing a full days work.

I guess he's very domesticated because he did a lot when he still lived at home as his Mam was out at work. He always had the tea ready and did chores around the house, so he definetly wasn't one of these men who had 'mummy doing everything' for him.

Gloomendoom

Traditional couple here. Generally, my wife does the 'woman's' stuff and I do the 'man's' stuff.

There are no hard and fast rules though. My wife is currently in the bath with a glass of champagne. I've just been hanging the washing out after assembling a couple of garden benches and strimming the garden weeds with my testosterone fueled strimmer.

maman

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I think this sums it up very well. As long as a couple are happy with the division and it works for them then that's all that matters. It's when one of the partnership starts taking the other for granted that problems arise.

I guess he's very domesticated because he did a lot when he still lived at home as his Mam was out at work. He always had the tea ready and did chores around the house, so he definetly wasn't one of these men who had 'mummy doing everything' for him.

My DH has 8 siblings younger than him:eek: so my MIL expected everyone to do things around the house whether boys or girls.


I totally agree with whatever suits that particular couple is fine. It's just that I keep reading posts on here about partners who are patently unhappy because the OH is spending hours playing games or spending money they don't have or demanding specific foods or whatever.


Off to cook supper. That's my job!;)

Goldiegirl

We have a split of things that suit us - These days, now I only work two days a week, I tend to do more of the housework, but I'm happy to do this.


Generally, I do cooking, drying up, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the kitchen, washing and ironing, and anything admin or finance related.


My husband does washing up, putting the rubbish out, cleaning the bathrooms, using the steam cleaner to wash carpets / curtains etc, car washing, general maintenance, and lawn mowing.


Other gardening we do between us.

System

Men often prefer to do a big task, for example cleaning the oven, than pottering about doing little things, but that is a generalisation.

Annisele

I once read something that said the important thing is that this equation doesn't come to much over 110%:

(The percentage of the work you think you're doing) + (the percentage of the work your partner thinks they're doing).

For example, if you think you're doing 60% of the housework, but your partner thinks that actually he's doing 60% of the work, then your total is 120%. You both think the other one is only doing 40% of the total work - in other words, you both think you're doing 50% more than the other guy. That can cause resentment!

When I told my partner that, he reckoned we had a 90%/10% split (with me doing most), and I thought it was more like 75%/25%. That makes our total 85%, and probably explains why our house is such a tip - the remaining 15% just isn't getting done.

Free_Spirit_31

We don't really split the chores as such.. Sometimes he cooks and/or I will. We do the washing up as well, never take it in turns who do it as we cook.

He is very green fingered so he does alot of the gardening and I will do some when I fancy it. I tend to do alot of the DIY and fixing things etc.

I never have to moan at him for not pulling his weight. There is no rota or anything like that. I do like to keep myself busy by doing little jobs around the house here and there too.

No kids (through choice), both work part time.