Second Time Lucky

Muser1

Just started our DS in karate for the same reason. He was being targeted by bullies (he's 5) I wanted him to do something that increased confidence but was disciplined. So far so good!

debtfreeoneday

You probably know my two do karate and it's been amazing for them on lots of levels. If i could do one thing with them, it would be this!

amycool

I'm glad to hear that karate has done some good for your kids. We're starting this Saturday and I'm looking forward to it. I just hope she can overcome her anxiety to join in but they seem very friendly.

What a week. The bullying continued so I sent a very shirty e-mail. For some reason anything physical (hitting, pushing, spitting) means the parents are immediately called in, even if the children involved weren't really affected by it, but continued nasty bullying only warrants a word with the whole class. I was tempted to speak to the parents as I would want to know if my daughter was being so horrible, but I thought it wasn't worth it. The teacher has since had a sterner word (with the whole class, despite knowing the 2 girls involved) and yesterday was better.

Then yesterday I had a surprise call from the paediatrician saying they had a cancellation for this Friday!!! We have nothing prepared and OH has had to cancel 5 very important meetings (what timing!) but we couldn't turn it down. I've just been jotting down the issues we have so my mind doesn't go blank. I'm not telling DD until tomorrow morning or she'll get very worried. My stomach is in knots.

I've been very lazy so far this week but have managed to hit 10000 steps by taking DD to the park or the shops. I have also put on a pound, which isn't a massive surprise as we had a chippy tea, and I ate quite a lot of chocolate. Still sticking roughly to 18/6 in terms of when I eat. I got some extra added exercise this morning when we were nearly at school and I realised I had left DD's bag at home! Lots of running ensued.

Sorted out the setting up of my new bank account and switching my old one over so at some point I should get £125. Then I need to do some direct debit faffing and set up the linked savings account.

debtfreeoneday

Pleased the appointment has come forward.. great news!

amycool

Just back from the paediatrician - oh my word she was amazing. Brilliant with DD, listened really carefully to me and didn't make assumptions. We are being referred for loads of support and need to consider whether to go forward with further testing. A letter is being sent to school - she was not impressed by the class teacher's attitude.

Feeling anxious at all of the forthcoming appointments (I ate loads of biscuits) but really happy that we are being taken seriously and being told that we're doing a good job.

amycool

I just need a moan to get it out...

Visited a family member this weekend, which is always stressful as they live a very unstructured life with few rules. But what really upset me was the comment that we shouldn't be getting DD extra support at school "because the other kids will think she's different". Yes, she is different. She went through more trauma in her first 5 years than most people will in their whole life, and it's up to us to try to help her to be okay with that and get her to a point of being happy and self-confident. Brain damage is brain damage, whether you acknowledge it or not and I'm not having my daughter go through life thinking she's stupid or lazy. Sad family member also disagrees with the karate lessons (they'll make her violent) and trying to teach the value of things by giving pocket money and not just buying everything she asks for (I'm tight).

This morning I met yet more opposition from DD's teacher, who thinks that as they went on a course "for something similar" to what DD is suspected of having "a few years ago" they will not be attending the course that has been offered to them or reading any of the literature that I provided to help with her learning.

Anyway, I went for a walk for an hour to help my sinus headache, calm me down, and lose some of the fat that I shoved down my throat over the weekend!

In much nicer news, DD was brilliant at Karate. The sensei is lovely and let me sit in as she was anxious. She took part in everything and mostly listened to the sensei. I got roped in twice to show how to block (I'm good at this as I have a little brother) and then to hit children on the head with a spongey thing, but none of them actually blocked it! I was being an overly cautious mum and kept saying "ooh, be careful". There's nobody from school and they're all younger than DD, which is good as she's behind emotionally. We're definitely going back next weekend and hopefully DD will want to continue.

Payday today and it's odd not to be able to make any overpayments but nice to be able to add it to the savings account. My new account should be switched on Thursday so then I can set up the linked savings account. I was pondering whether to set one up for OH (he's so busy with work at the moment) so then we can double the amount getting 5% and get another £125. The main issue is that if I put money into OH's account, he will spend it. I'm wondering whether to do it, and say to OH that he should use the joint account for all spending but not to go mad. Then I can keep an eye on it. He goes over his limit every month anyway and maybe I am being a bit tight with his spending money! I do find though that a low limit keeps his spending in check better. Or do I give him cash each week? He bought a computer game on his phone on a whim yesterday without a second thought so maybe cash would be better as he'd have to ask to use the joint account.

Hmmm...I know I sound a bit of a control freak but self-control is not one of my OH's strong points. I have always been in control of the money and he's always been okay with that.

At the weekend we are going to attempt a meal out in the evening whilst my Mum babysits. I have a month's tastecard so we're getting it half price. I worry how it will go as DD finds my Mum's laissez faire attitude to discipline quite difficult.

I'm going to get the gap around the fireplace filled today and I've already de-squeaked DD's bedroom door. German today too. I've started alternating between French and German each day as both on the same day wasn't working.

amycool

I am bottom of the class again this week thanks to my Mum giving me a load of chocolate. My willpower is at zero so of course I've eaten all of it. Greedy me.

Yesterday I had a horrible dizzy spell that lasted all day and today I woke with a nose bleed that just kept going and I couldn't breathe! This always happens when my hospital appointments come through.

Still, the sun is out at last so hopefully DD will be up for a walk to the park after school so I can get some much-needed steps in.

My little imps (the rats) have been cheeky again and have begun building a burrow in the conservatory furniture. Foam everywhere. We're taking them back to the vet tomorrow as the sneezing continues. Their little house has also broken so I've ordered a new one, along with their daily mineral supplement, more cleaning stuff and a clip thing to dangle food. £30 for that!!

I spoke to OH regarding his spends and after some heated discussion (all of my friends spend more than me!) he agreed that starting next month he'll get cash each week so he can't overspend. To be fair, I spend approximately nothing on me.

I've started filling the gaps either side of the fireplace but I'll have to wait for it to dry and add more. It looks a mess at the moment but will hopefully look better by the end of the week.

In other news, I finally flipped at a certain acquaintance constantly bragging about her child and "casually" mentioned that as DD has been struggling she's been put down to [her child's] group. I may have also mentioned that she's 3 levels higher in reading. Her child couldn't hear - I'm not a monster - but I hate that she rubs it in DD's face when her kid has done something well and makes up preposterous lies about his academic and sporting ability. I learnt from a young age that showing off does not win you friends and can't work out why she never learnt the same lesson. I have tried to avoid but it's like they're always there wherever we go!

Checking my mortgage balance each month is going to be very unsatisfying now I can't overpay. They haven't even added on the interest yet so not sure what it will be down to, but it won't be a big difference. I think £300 down each month now.

I'm not sure if I've worked this out wrong, but looking at my spreadsheet, we could be mortgage neutral by the end of this year! Ooh, it will be tempting when my fix runs out to pay the whole thing off, but that would leave us with no savings, which seems a bit dangerous. I've got a while to think about it anyway. Knowing my luck we'll have to pay for something big we haven't thought of in the meantime.

giblet1979

Gosh amy...what a lot has been going on for you. Sounds like you're doing amazing tho! Fabulous mummy stuff shining through (as well as the great money saving).
Go you x

amycool

Thanks Giblet - I felt like a horrible mummy this morning as DD was sad about her birth mum, but as usual didn't tell me until we were nearly at school (I think she links the loss of me with the loss of her BM) and I felt pretty rubbish just leaving her. I couldn't even tell the teacher as he was talking to a parent about something that sounded important. OH is out tonight so I might suggest we go and buy ourselves a treat for pudding (I really shouldn't have eaten half a box of Thorntons at lunch).

My new debit card and pin never came so I've just been on the phone about that but seeing as I have all the luck, the system was down. Grrr. I also didn't realise I'd need a code doodad to fully use the online banking so I've only just ordered that. Once it's done I can sign up for the savings account.

Still haven't signed OH up for one.

I have eaten one of my Mum's birthday presents.

Still, I have cleaned the box room to within an inch of its life and put brand new bedding on ready for my Mum to stay this weekend. We've also given loads of books to charity and got rid of the bookcase, and taken the old table from the living room up as a bedside table.

I've done two lots of washing (haven't put it away yet...)

I've done two lots of filler on the fireplace but still not finished.

My final pension letter has come from my old job. £1500 a year, which isn't too bad. I know it's not much but it'll pay for a few luxuries I hope!

We're wondering whether the vets was a good idea yesterday as it was very stressful for them and then it cost £110!!! They're not showing any signs of actual illness other than sneezing and the vet can't see anything wrong with them but she thinks antibiotics is the best bet and if this doesn't work she's talking about anaesthetising one to swab them. I really can't put them through that so please cross your fingers that these antibiotics work. Next time we buy rats I am DEFINITELY waiting to get them from a proper breeder. Our poor girls were so ill when they came home and it looks like they'll be spending a lot of their lives on antibiotics.

OH was panicking about money because he has no idea how much money we have. I explained that we have something called a Savings Account, which we can use in times of emergency. I have tried and tried to inform him of the finances but it really doesn't go in.

I had thought by now I would have finished the lounge completely and got some quotes for cleaning the outside of the house, but life seems to be moving too fast for me.

To do -- soon
Book table for Sunday night with tastecard
Get some money for karate lesson
Put away washing
Make a list for Mum of important info whilst we are out (for about an hour )
Make sure we do DD's maths homework on a morning or early afternoon as her concentration was at 0% this week and got most of them wrong

giblet1979

Awww....I don't think that means your a horrible mummy at all. I think it means the exact opposite; that she is close enough to you to a) miss you (normal) and b) tell you her deepest worries and fears, even if this is all in a rush at the last minute (also normal attachmenty behaviour). You're doing amazing!
Poor little rats; I'm always a nervous wreck taking my cats to the vet. I've even considered asking them for some extra sedation (for me) when I have to go, lol. Not sure they'll be up for that tho.
Hope your day is going well, and that you get some time to REST in all that busyness - no wonder you're needing the energy to keep going x