Who knows ? In debt & suicidal, you are not alone, read on PLEASE

Sazzie23

We've had a few new DMPers this week which makes me think the post Christmas debt blues must be kicking in. So quick thread bump

Sazzie23

Little bump

Ugguy

Just wanted to say - as I'm sure no-one cares, my family no longer want anything to do with me, but anyway, after following someone's advice about where to get my food shopping one week in December, I bought two days worth of food which turned out to be £30, so a couple of days later I had to buy more food. Now it's March 2016 and have been in the black maybe once since the start of the year. The bank are taking money out of my overdraft because I can't get out of it, I just had a work capability assessment because of prolonged depression, my parents won't give me any help, the area where I live I am excluded economically and socially, been out of work for 6 years now so have a huge 6 year gap in my CV, turned 38 before Christmas so my age is now going against me also and have to pay bedroom tax also, which I might be taking in a lodger soon as I no longer can afford to pay it, and I haven't told any of my family. Let's hope he doesn't murder me eh? Though it could be a good thing in the long term.

FunBrum

I'm new to all this so I don't know what to say apart from if you post your SOA, maybe some of these lovely people on here can show you the way.
In the interim, please try not to despair. You are not alone.

Sazzie23

Ugguy wrote: »

Just wanted to say - as I'm sure no-one cares, my family no longer want anything to do with me, but anyway, after following someone's advice about where to get my food shopping one week in December, I bought two days worth of food which turned out to be £30, so a couple of days later I had to buy more food. Now it's March 2016 and have been in the black maybe once since the start of the year. The bank are taking money out of my overdraft because I can't get out of it, I just had a work capability assessment because of prolonged depression, my parents won't give me any help, the area where I live I am excluded economically and socially, been out of work for 6 years now so have a huge 6 year gap in my CV, turned 38 before Christmas so my age is now going against me also and have to pay bedroom tax also, which I might be taking in a lodger soon as I no longer can afford to pay it, and I haven't told any of my family. Let's hope he doesn't murder me eh? Though it could be a good thing in the long term.

Hi UGGUY,

I understand how you feel alone and excluded, but you do have some positives in your message here, and 38 is still young enough to train to do something else if you wanted to and then employers would be less bothered about a CV gap.

The bedroom tax is very harsh, but might do you a favour if you find someone compatible to rent to as you'd have company a little of the time. Being on your own is a tough gig especially if you have any issues like family troubles and debt etc. not seeing people through usual channels like work etc mean it ps easier to dwell on problems.

Don't think I'm in a position to give advice but thought I'd tell you how things have been working for me lately. I've recently had some life changes that have made me prettily naffed off and I find that when I see friends who are telling me about issues in their lives I sit there thinking 'like I care' which is an awful thing to do, however when I work and I see my clients my mind is taken up with doing my best for them and that helps me switch off from my own problems. That other old chestnut - exercise does seem to help me escape from my problems for a few minutes, I think it makes you 'in the moment'.

The thing I've found least helpful is for people to say, think about people who are in a worse position - I'm sad for them too but doesn't make me feel any better about my stuff.

I hope you find some peace to turn life around, it's not about your family and what they do or don't do for you, it's about what you can acheive for yourself.

excited_to_be_free

Ugguy wrote: »

Just wanted to say - as I'm sure no-one cares, my family no longer want anything to do with me, but anyway, after following someone's advice about where to get my food shopping one week in December, I bought two days worth of food which turned out to be £30, so a couple of days later I had to buy more food. Now it's March 2016 and have been in the black maybe once since the start of the year. The bank are taking money out of my overdraft because I can't get out of it, I just had a work capability assessment because of prolonged depression, my parents won't give me any help, the area where I live I am excluded economically and socially, been out of work for 6 years now so have a huge 6 year gap in my CV, turned 38 before Christmas so my age is now going against me also and have to pay bedroom tax also, which I might be taking in a lodger soon as I no longer can afford to pay it, and I haven't told any of my family. Let's hope he doesn't murder me eh? Though it could be a good thing in the long term.

Hi Ugguy! Just a tip on finding a lodger. Get some advice or PM me as depending on their earnings/benefits or age, you'll have to pay a non dependant deduction. So that might end up being more than the bedroom tax. It will be their responsibility to pay it, but if tenancy is in your name, the landlord will come to you for it.

Ugguy

Thanks people who have replied so kindly to my post.
Unfortunately yesterday I was told my ESA was going to be cut after this week, when I'm £400 overdrawn it was the worst possible news. I am in so much trouble that today I just been in a zombie state just waiting for the end to come. Was going to go food shopping today but just don't have the strength to move or think or speak or do anything.
Sorry if my post is a bit odd, I am still reeling from this decision, even though I was suspecting it, though it just feels like I been handed a death sentence when I have commited no crime at all.

excited_to_be_free

Ugguy wrote: »

Thanks people who have replied so kindly to my post.
Unfortunately yesterday I was told my ESA was going to be cut after this week, when I'm £400 overdrawn it was the worst possible news. I am in so much trouble that today I just been in a zombie state just waiting for the end to come. Was going to go food shopping today but just don't have the strength to move or think or speak or do anything.
Sorry if my post is a bit odd, I am still reeling from this decision, even though I was suspecting it, though it just feels like I been handed a death sentence when I have commited no crime at all.

Sending you a cyber hug. Why is it being cut? Have they found you fit to work? Can you go to your local CAB for some help.

Sazzie23

Ugguy wrote: »

Thanks people who have replied so kindly to my post.
Unfortunately yesterday I was told my ESA was going to be cut after this week, when I'm £400 overdrawn it was the worst possible news. I am in so much trouble that today I just been in a zombie state just waiting for the end to come. Was going to go food shopping today but just don't have the strength to move or think or speak or do anything.
Sorry if my post is a bit odd, I am still reeling from this decision, even though I was suspecting it, though it just feels like I been handed a death sentence when I have commited no crime at all.

Of course you are shocked, totally understandable.

Acknowledge your feelings (sorry if that's a bit touchy/freely) but it's best to think about how you feel before you start to deal with stuff. I found saying ' I can get through today' helpful rather than thinking about the rest of my life. Go to the GP if you have feelings of suicide, some may be helpful, not always though but it's a good place to start.

Priorities - have you enough money for food/rent/bills?
Go shopping for food if you need to, but make yourself a list and stick to it.
Make an appointment with CAB benefits, did you know around 40% of ESA appeals are approved?

Any other urgent issues that need to be dealt with?

Have you any more debt or is it just the overdraft to contend with.
Do you have any help with how you are feeling or day to day living?

Ugguy

Sazzie23 wrote: »

Of course you are shocked, totally understandable.

Acknowledge your feelings (sorry if that's a bit touchy/freely) but it's best to think about how you feel before you start to deal with stuff. I found saying ' I can get through today' helpful rather than thinking about the rest of my life. Go to the GP if you have feelings of suicide, some may be helpful, not always though but it's a good place to start.

Priorities - have you enough money for food/rent/bills?
Go shopping for food if you need to, but make yourself a list and stick to it.
Make an appointment with CAB benefits, did you know around 40% of ESA appeals are approved?

Any other urgent issues that need to be dealt with?

Have you any more debt or is it just the overdraft to contend with.
Do you have any help with how you are feeling or day to day living?

I'm too scared to see anybody about suicide, I fear I'd get locked up in police cell, that happened three years ago.

I don't have any money apart from what's left of my overdraft limit. Keeping spending to the absolute minimum. And this is the only debt.

Today at my JSA interview I was handed a leaflet for a debt charity called capdebthelp.org. Can anybody tell me if they're any good? Are they reliable?