We're having a baby and need advice on joining finances

mustardduck

Dear all,

We are having a baby! The little one is coming in January so we need to make some financial decisions!

We need some advice on it; should we do together, should we do it separately? We think our situation is quite complex and we have very different point of views on it so we could not reach an agreement.

Our expenses
- The total expenses of the house are 665 mortgage + 350 bills.
- The house is hers, his name is not on the deeds.
- We split extra expenses like food, restaurant, travels equally.

He:
- He is in banking, and has a quite good salary. Last year he made about £48k net / year including his bonus pay.
- He has £25k on savings.
- Right now he helps with living costs paying £500 per month

She:
- She used to work and had a net salary of £19.500 net / year.
- She decided to leave her job and she is getting a £8k lump sum as settlement.
- During her pregnancy, she will also have a statutory pregnancy pay of about £400 pounds a month.
- She has a 2 bedroom flat with £190k mortgage left whose current market value is about £370k. He has no share in the flat.
- She rents a room in the flat for £1100. She considers stop renting it in november to make it the baby's room.
- She has £8k in savings.
- She plans to be a full time mum at least for the next year

It is important to consider that if she can, she would not go for a joint mortgage as she would keep the flat for sure if the marriage breaks down. This is not her first marriage and it has been a problem in her past and she wants to avoid it.

We would like to have ideas on how to join our finances fairly, or otherwise, how to split household and baby expenses having separate finances.

Many thanks in advance!

victory

mustardduck wrote: »

Dear all,

We are pregnant! The little one is coming in January so we need to make some financial decisions!

We need some advice on it; should we do together, should we do it separately? We think our situation is quite complex and we have very different point of views on it so we could not reach an agreement.

Our expenses
- The total expenses of the house are 665 mortgage + 350 bills.
- The house is hers, his name is not on the deeds.
- We split extra expenses like food, restaurant, travels equally.

He:
- He is in banking, and has a quite good salary. Last year he made about £48k net / year including his bonus pay.
- He has £25k on savings.
- Right now he helps with living costs paying £500 per month

She:
- She used to work and had a net salary of £19.500 net / year.
- She decided to leave her job and she is getting a £8k lump sum as settlement.
- During her pregnancy, she will also have a statutory pregnancy pay of about £400 pounds a month.
- She has a 2 bedroom flat with £190k mortgage left whose current market value is about £370k. He has no share in the flat.
- She rents a room in the flat for £1100. She considers stop renting it in november to make it the baby's room.
- She has £8k in savings.
- She plans to be a full time mum at least for the next year

It is important to consider that if she can, she would not go for a joint mortgage as she would keep the flat for sure if the marriage breaks down. This is not her first marriage and it has been a problem in her past and she wants to avoid it.

We would like to have ideas on how to join our finances fairly, or otherwise, how to split household and baby expenses having separate finances.

Many thanks in advance!

Congrats but only one of you is actually pregnant:rotfl::rotfl:

double_mummy

mustardduck wrote: »

Dear all,

We are pregnant! The little one is coming in January so we need to make some financial decisions!

We need some advice on it; should we do together, should we do it separately? We think our situation is quite complex and we have very different point of views on it so we could not reach an agreement.

Our expenses
- The total expenses of the house are 665 mortgage + 350 bills.
- The house is hers, his name is not on the deeds.
- We split extra expenses like food, restaurant, travels equally.

He:
- He is in banking, and has a quite good salary. Last year he made about £48k net / year including his bonus pay.
- He has £25k on savings.
- Right now he helps with living costs paying £500 per month

She:
- She used to work and had a net salary of £19.500 net / year.
- She decided to leave her job and she is getting a £8k lump sum as settlement.
- During her pregnancy, she will also have a statutory pregnancy pay of about £400 pounds a month.
- She has a 2 bedroom flat with £190k mortgage left whose current market value is about £370k. He has no share in the flat.
- She rents a room in the flat for £1100. She considers stop renting it in november to make it the baby's room. is renter going to want to stay with a baby there?
- She has £8k in savings.
- She plans to be a full time mum at least for the next year

It is important to consider that if she can, she would not go for a joint mortgage as she would keep the flat for sure if the marriage breaks down. This is not her first marriage and it has been a problem in her past and she wants to avoid it. doesnt matter if it s a joint mortgage or not they are married he would still have an interest in it he can already show that hes been contributing towards the mortgage by him paying for more than the total bill the rest will be going to the mortage

We would like to have ideas on how to join our finances fairly, or otherwise, how to split household and baby expenses having separate finances.

Many thanks in advance!

have you considered renting the flat out in its entirety and moving somewhere else? is a room is being rented out for £1100 she is already making almost £500 in profit - keep the place but rent it all out with the mortgage remaining in her name solely then buy a place together as a family home might be an option that could work

if she is taking a year off of work with the baby and only stat mat pay and the rental income he will be paying for most things anyways unless you want her savings to disappear

i have kids and am married an do not have joint finances it is doable one person transfers X to another person and but it was much harder when the kids were little we just did whoever got paid most recently got their money used

PenguinOfDeath

victory wrote: »

Congrats but only one of you is actually pregnant:rotfl::rotfl:

Unless there's some major medical miracle going on!

barbiedoll

victory wrote: »

Congrats but only one of you is actually pregnant:rotfl::rotfl:

Oh, thank goodness that someone said it!

I work in maternity services and I don't know where this phrase comes from (USA probably), but whenever I hear the words "We're pregnant", I just cringe. I literally have to force myself not to say "No, one of you is"

Sorry!

Beckyy

Are you already married?

theoretica

A few numbers it might be worth considering are the salary of a nanny (what the mother would be earning if she were looking after someone else's baby), what you would pay in childcare if the mother went back to work as soon as possible (and maybe how you would share that cost) and what child support would be due from a separated father.

As the father has been contributing £500 a month but only saved £25k I assume there are quite a lot of cutbacks which he could make. Has he considered buying a flat to let himself so both parties have a property?

mustardduck

Many thanks so far guys!

@Beckyy: no we are not married

@double mummy: that's one of the possibilities, but then how split finances? The mother would have about 2000 from rent, mat pay and the settlement of the job, the father would have 3000 something from his monthly salary.
Then we split every cost in the new house proportionally to the incomes?

@theoretica: in fact the father is quite frugal, except for two things, eating out and traveling. we spend quite a lot every time we travel, and we eat a lot quite often... we think it's alright as we don't drink, we don't smoke, we don't spend money in clothes, etc

The father consider investing in a flat in the future, right now it is a bit hard because housing in london is too expensive and also he's a foreign so it's a bit harder to do on his own. We discussed about he buying in 2-3 years.

Person_one

I can't work out why you're being so careful not to tell us whether you're the mother or the father!

double_mummy

yup thats exactly how i would do it

have you considered moving out of london? more house for your money with woman not working man could commute into most parts of london easily enough

have you also considered the possibility of paternity leave for the man?what is paternity pay like at his job? how long would he want to take off?

moneysniffer

Person_one wrote: »

I can't work out why you're being so careful not to tell us whether you're the mother or the father!

Could be that they both decided to get advice together, and are posting together? Hence the 'we'?