We're having a baby and need advice on joining finances

fabforty

houseimprover wrote: »

Just another way of sidelining the man isn't it, surely it's better for everything to be more inclusive?

Nobody is suggesting that the man should not be included or that the mother has somehow impregnated herself - it is simply the choice of phrase that some find cringeworthy. Reminds me of the infamous 'we are a grandmother' line.

justme111

mustardduck wrote: »

Dear all,

We are having a baby! The little one is coming in January so we need to make some financial decisions!

We need some advice on it; should we do together, should we do it separately? We think our situation is quite complex and we have very different point of views on it so we could not reach an agreement.

Our expenses
- The total expenses of the house are 665 mortgage + 350 bills.
- The house is hers, his name is not on the deeds.
- We split extra expenses like food, restaurant, travels equally.

He:
- He is in banking, and has a quite good salary. Last year he made about £48k net / year including his bonus pay.
- He has £25k on savings.
- Right now he helps with living costs paying £500 per month

She:
- She used to work and had a net salary of £19.500 net / year.
- She decided to leave her job and she is getting a £8k lump sum as settlement.
- During her pregnancy, she will also have a statutory pregnancy pay of about £400 pounds a month.
- She has a 2 bedroom flat with £190k mortgage left whose current market value is about £370k. He has no share in the flat.
- She rents a room in the flat for £1100. She considers stop renting it in november to make it the baby's room.
- She has £8k in savings.
- She plans to be a full time mum at least for the next year

It is important to consider that if she can, she would not go for a joint mortgage as she would keep the flat for sure if the marriage breaks down. This is not her first marriage and it has been a problem in her past and she wants to avoid it.

We would like to have ideas on how to join our finances fairly, or otherwise, how to split household and baby expenses having separate finances.

Many thanks in advance!

So she is going to be down £2200 each month next year .. (1500 wages and 1100 lodger minus maternity pay). It does mean that he will pay for everything next year . That's if you do it together. Whether she puts £ 8000 on the table or squirrels it away depends in my opinion on whether he would have left a job if she was not part of a couple. Looks like you decided to stay in the flat . So if you do it "separately " she would have to spend that money on a mortgage

Antimoron

barbiedoll wrote: »

Oh, thank goodness that someone said it!

I work in maternity services and I don't know where this phrase comes from (USA probably), but whenever I hear the words "We're pregnant", I just cringe. I literally have to force myself not to say "No, one of you is"

Sorry!

Real charming.

You must also "cringe" when couples say "we're having a baby"

Maybe don't post such bitter nonsense if you don't have any value to add. Out of the entire post, this is what you both latches on to nit-pick on.

Same goes for the genius whom you quoted.