Problems with the In-Laws and Parking

lovinituk

momoyama wrote: »

I've created a .JPG file showing the geography. I just need to work out how to upload it.

Upload here - http://tinypic.com/ - and post the URL they give you

fabforty

Did you have to buy the house or pay rent or mortgage to your wife's family? If not, then do you really have no money at all - or no way of affording to move - i.e. not a penny saved up? Or do you mean that you would have to pay to rent elsewhere and you can't afford to do that?
TBH if you are living on their land and living rent free, you are always going to be at the mercy of whatever they want to do (their land, their property, their rules). I'm not saying that I agree with them, but perhaps now is the time to find a way to be independent, even if it means scrimping, saving and doing without.

A lot of families don't get along, but when you say that police have been called and FIL threatened to attack your wife, you really have no choice but to leave.

BigAunty

Go to the Debt free wanabee board and see if they can help you come up with a more manageable debt management strategy. See the Direct Gov website for information on how to manage debt, including links to charities that give free expert advice.

Double check your points/priority with the social housing landlords just to ensure that you've got the correct one, that your wife's condition is factored in.

Join a credit union - these are designed for people on low incomes. You may be required to demonstrate a history of saving with them for a while but you might then be eligible for a loan that will help you with your onward move.

If you are dependent on them, then they have you over a barrel. Sounds like on the one hand, they sincerely care for their family member and have gone beyond the call of duty and not just dumped her on the mercy of the state but on the other, they appear to want to show her who is boss.

Did they like you much before her health deteriorated? Is disrespect shown in other ways than intentionally causing her discomfort by restricting the parking?

Alikay

Can't you sell one of the cars and use the proceeds as a deposit to rent a flat near your workplace? You can then walk to work, thus saving petrol and running costs which will go towards your rent, and your wife can keep the other car so she retains a bit of independence.

daisiegg

If your wife had to move her car to let you park, why couldn't you have parked where she moved her car to...? Confused by the whole description!

momoyama

BigAunty wrote: »

Did they like you much before her health deteriorated? Is disrespect shown in other ways than intentionally causing her discomfort by restricting the parking?

LOOONG story. FIL attacked wife as it was the only way to get at me for standing up to him... because of how he treated wife when she was in hospital! He drove me to a nervous breakdown that summer. I believe he cares about his daughter but his megalomania is the only thing that matters and he'll think nothing of hurting her if it means he has some control or affect over me.

The parking thing wasn't done to cause hurt it was done out of pure selfishness and disregard for wife. What hurts is that on being told that the parking thing would adversely affect my wife, they just didn't care at all.

momoyama

Alikay wrote: »

Can't you sell one of the cars and use the proceeds as a deposit to rent a flat near your workplace?

We both have jobs of varying times and both have other activities.

momoyama

daisiegg wrote: »

If your wife had to move her car to let you park, why couldn't you have parked where she moved her car to...? Confused by the whole description!

She moved to where her brother and his wife park. Temporary. Risked being blocked in or causing an argument. Bear in mind that she was off to work a couple of hours later, I was going to bed.

momoyama

fabforty wrote: »

Did you have to buy the house or pay rent or mortgage to your wife's family? If not, then do you really have no money at all - or no way of affording to move - i.e. not a penny saved up? Or do you mean that you would have to pay to rent elsewhere and you can't afford to do that?
TBH if you are living on their land and living rent free, you are always going to be at the mercy of whatever they want to do (their land, their property, their rules).

The bulk of my current debt is for building our house. No mortgage or rent, but loan to pay back. I'm getting there. We can't afford the cost of two properties. We struggle to afford one!

RAS

What is the actual ownership and access situation regarding the log-cabin? Any restrictions on sale?

Will this affect you when you sell?