Hi everyone I Need Help again

lumja

Poppie68 wrote: »

Police intelligence comes from taking out the little fishes....from someone who claims to be from a family of police inspectors!!!! you don't seem to be very informed on their game play....
got to ask for clarification......did they really use a 'chainsaw' because i have never ever ever heard of police using a 'chainsaw' unless they are trimming their hedge in the garden...and strangly enough neither has my next door but one neighbour who really is a police inspector...just asked him as he is out gardening but not using a 'chainsaw'...when asked the question his answer was....'Er no' and laughed.
You also state kids where brought up different when you were younger....well this is your child, so your responsibility to makesure he is brought up correctly. I have 3 all in the early 20's and not one ever been in trouble..good jobs, cars etc...it's parents who shape their children not society.

Ah u are so wrong Is the society and his friends,No one can say that I did not try to shape him my way the right way,but this estate is just out of control,and yes I heard the noise of chain saw that's why my neighbors came out and they were shouting to the police what u doing to that poor lady, the chain on the door from the inside that's why they used it, the noise was scary, and Im happy for your kids but i think they were not raised in this kind of estate where young and old are involved with drugs

Prinzessilein

Lumja, you have clearly been upset by what has happened, but now you need to sit down with a cup of tea, relax, think things through and make a plan of action.


First, the door. You live in a Council House. You have certain responsibilities. Your son - who is 17 and your dependant - broke the law. His actions led to the door being broken. He is your child, you need to accept responsibility. The Council want about £170 from you (one third of the £500?). You need to look at ways of paying this. You have yourself and your younger son to consider. The Council have grounds to ask you to leave (Drug dealing from your house)...they MAY be lenient, and your best bet is to face facts and pay your share of the door.


You have a younger son. Be a good example to him. Show him what it means to be a responsible member of the community. (And that includes paying for that door!) Make sure he knows that the best way for him to move away from the rough community you live in, is to do well in school, keep out of trouble as much as possible and get qualifications to help him find employment when he is older.


I don't want to add to your stress...but there is another thing you could do. Another example to set both your boys. ...Looking at this thread, you could do with some help with your English. You don't express yourself too clearly (I accept part of this is down to agitation and worry at the current situation), and your spelling and grammar could both be improved....Would it not be a terrific example to your boys if you showed how much you value education by going to college to improve your skills? (You may already be doing this...in which case..well done and keep it up!)


Finally, you need to start looking at some stricter house rules. Your elder son is on remand. Are you hoping to have him come back home (either now or after he has served any prison-time he may be given?) He needs to see that his behaviour -which has led the whole family into this unpleasantness - will no longer be accepted by you. His brother needs to know that you will not tolerate him going down the same route. Fight for your sons! ....If you are offered help from the police, the council or the social services then take it!

stevemLS

lumja wrote: »

People keep in mind that he was 17 immature and easily influenced by his friends,.I hope to god none of you have to go through something like this (if you have kids) and never ever say my child would never do something like this,. And yes I was here to tell him about a job and I did made him to apply for some jobs and he had 2 interviews to go to before he got arrested,,And yes they had to use a chain saw and to be honest I was impressed with this door It always looked cheap door to me and as Im on the ground floor I was always scared but it proved me wrong, even the glass didn't brake,,. And about the payment for the door It has nothing to do with the TAX PAYERS MONEY, because is not just you ENGLISH people who work in this country, his dad works 6 days a week, Im just angry like I said most of belgrave police station they knew me I have no private life everything revolves around my kids I was always out around them just to try and make sure he don't do something wrong,But it was not enough,.

It has everything to do with taxpayers money.

You came on here, asking essentially, how to avoid paying 1/3 of the cost of the damage, or asking where you could get money from.

You have changed your story several times.

You are unwilling to accept the opinions that have been offered.

And now you bring race into it - what on earth has that got to do with it?

RuthnJasper

lumja wrote: »

but is all politics

No - it is NOT "all politics". It is crime and it is despicable. And your son may be immature, but he is capable of making his own decisions.

This is obviously a wretched situation for you personally and I'm sorry - but please stop blaming your son's "friends" who influenced him, the other dealers with fancy cars that tempted him, the fact that he wanted some money for his birthday or any other "justification".

Try considering yourself and your other children. If I was in this unfortunate situation, the drug-dealing son would not be returning to live under my roof and putting me and my other children at risk of eviction - or worse.

Housing_Benefit_Officer

lumja wrote: »

because is not just you ENGLISH people who work in this country

Do you have a problem with English people? You do know there are equality and diversity courses you could go on to get rid of that bigoted racist chip on your shoulder.

RuthnJasper

stevemLS wrote: »

You have changed your story several times.

I was wondering if it was just me...! I noticed that too.

OldMotherTucker

lumja wrote: »

and my point is the POLICE INTELLIGENCE should have been used on the bigger fishes that I see them hanging around the estate on their fancy cars and asking young boys U WANNA MAKE SOME CASH, but is all politics

We hear so often that the police do nothing but when they do . . .

Most often the police target estate scroats as a warning to the 'bigger fishes' (sic)- any intelligence they gather is a bonus. Rest assured every other dealer will know full well your house got raided and will steer well clear for the time being - which is good news for your younger boy. They will also be sh1tt1ng bricks that they might have been grassed up!

It's not just politics - it's common sense. It makes it harder for pushers to recruit youngsters and I'm sure you'd rather be left alone to raise your kids within the law and without temptation.

We live in a society where people don't take responsibility for their own actions - let alone their kids'. You've had harsh lesson but ultimately you are responsible for your child's actions.

How would you feel if some scally gave your other lad MCat or heroin? You'd be hoping that their door was kicked in by the police and everyone knew their son was a dealer. . . . and you wouldn't give a sh1te who had to pay the damages.

Your son owes you £165 plus a grovelling apology but in the meantime you'll have to foot the bill.

Pollycat

RuthnJasper wrote: »

I was wondering if it was just me...! I noticed that too.

Maybe it's because English is not the OP's first language (she says so in another thread).

However, I do think she (and her drug-dealing son) need to understand the meaning of 'accountability' and 'responsibility'.

garynuman

Council now wants 500,1/3 of it from me to replace the door,and I don't think is right,If I had 5 millions on my I still would hesitate because I was begin them to stop-Ill open the door but no,and If I had drugs or cash I had at least 3-4 minutes to eat them it just ridiculous,then I found out they had followed all this boys from this estate for 5 months and that got me even more cross POLICE INTELLIGENCE should have known that in this flat lives a lady with no criminal record no drugs no alcohol and two young boys ok the oldest one got him self involved with drugs but be more considerate with us and they know me very well those officers who are always around the estate,since my son left school he was most of the time out no job, I knew something is going to happen so I was all the time out looking for him I had searched him all the time my self,told him talked to him I was on his back day and night because I see what is going on around hear, but he just didn't want to listen and he sold drugs to under covers, now he is on remand and he turned 18,two weeks after he was arrested.

Is this the longest sentence ever on MSE?

Should I call Guinness?;)

SnooksNJ

lumja wrote: »

People keep in mind that he was 17 immature and easily influenced by his friends,.I hope to god none of you have to go through something like this (if you have kids) and never ever say my child would never do something like this,. And yes I was here to tell him about a job and I did made him to apply for some jobs and he had 2 interviews to go to before he got arrested,,And yes they had to use a chain saw and to be honest I was impressed with this door It always looked cheap door to me and as Im on the ground floor I was always scared but it proved me wrong, even the glass didn't brake,,. And about the payment for the door It has nothing to do with the TAX PAYERS MONEY, because is not just you ENGLISH people who work in this country, his dad works 6 days a week, Im just angry like I said most of belgrave police station they knew me I have no private life everything revolves around my kids I was always out around them just to try and make sure he don't do something wrong,But it was not enough,.

I was thinking why not move to Colorado when your son can deal pot with impunity. Keep in mind the US won't give you a council house that the good taxpayers of this country are subsidizing for you(along with 2/3rds of the cost of the damage to your door).