How many people don't like you?

FattyBettyBoo

I was talking to the OH yesterday about how many people don't like us individually ... him none, me quite a few.

We went on to discover that while he is quite short tempered and out spoken, he always acts like nothing happened after he made his point. He is also very forgiving when people have disrespected him.

As I get older I've found I care more what people think of me, but contrary to this, I still am very unforgiving. Once someone has done something to disrespected me I find it hard to move on. So there are a few people who I dislike and they dislike me back.

I also find myself telling people when they are annoying me, they get cross, we fall out, and I find it hard to move on. It never bothered me in past, but for some reason is starting to now.

I also cut a couple of extremely negative people out of my life as they kept bringing me down and the relationship was just them taking form me. But then I feel awkward when we have mutual friends or see each other.

Do people just lets other people's comments and behaviour wash over them? Do they go the extra mile that I won't to stay in people's good books?

Tropez

There's probably hundreds of people who don't like me.

If a relationship with a particular person is important enough to you, then you'll make an effort to overcome difficulties that you have with someone. There are people I know who drive me absolutely potty at times but because I like them I ensure that any differences we have are dealt with and we move on.

There's not that many people though that I really care what they think about me. It's not a big issue.

I make allowances for the people who are important to me.

balletshoes

There is no-one in my real life who has said, to my face, that they don't like me. So there might be some, but I have no idea if and who they are.

I can think of 2 people in real life who I don't like - as far as I'm concerned, neither of them have any redeeming features, they lie, they can't see beyond the end of their own noses, and one of them (currently in my life as a work colleague) is a sh*t-stirrer of the highest order.

It doesn't now, and hasn't ever, since I left school, bothered me if people like me. The only people who's opinions matter to me are my immediate family and my best friends.

DUTR

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

I was talking to the OH yesterday about how many people don't like us individually ... him none, me quite a few.

We went on to discover that while he is quite short tempered and out spoken, he always acts like nothing happened after he made his point. He is also very forgiving when people have disrespected him.

As I get older I've found I care more what people think of me, but contrary to this, I still am very unforgiving. Once someone has done something to disrespected me I find it hard to move on. So there are a few people who I dislike and they dislike me back.

I also find myself telling people when they are annoying me, they get cross, we fall out, and I find it hard to move on. It never bothered me in past, but for some reason is starting to now.

I also cut a couple of extremely negative people out of my life as they kept bringing me down and the relationship was just them taking form me. But then I feel awkward when we have mutual friends or see each other.

Do people just lets other people's comments and behaviour wash over them? Do they go the extra mile that I won't to stay in people's good books?

After reading your post , add me to the list
Seriously though, I know characters that have similar traits to what you describe, I can see from your Hubby's side.
I agree treat others as you wish to be treated, I do know some who feel they must be at the top of everybody else's pecking order or that anyone who is not on their list is some sort of loser :eek:

I also notice similar on the relationship board (especially M/F topics)
Please note, this is not a troll post, just a response and entry to the topic of debate.

ska_lover

What other people think of me, is not my business

I don't give a jot what anyone else thinks of me. I would have no idea if people dislike me, I have never been given an inkling but there must be people that don't

I'm a lot more confident and self assured than I was years back though, which plays a huge part. When I was much younger, I would spend time worrying if people liked me, what a waste of time haha

Best to try and forgive easily if poss, pent up anger leads to bitterness, and that is an ugly trait that I want to avoid if possible

I don't dislike anyone either, to dislike suggests you 'feel something' for them. There are people I don't care either way about though, as in don't care if they live or die!

bluebeary

I'm just me, no pretences or hidden agenda, I have my agenda, issues and heart on my sleeve, have a sharp tongue and people appreciate my honesty and openess, people like me more than I like myself at times

FBaby

Outside of work I never find myself in that situation. I accept my friends as they so do them and that's it. With family it is a case of compromising when occasionally required. I struggle to understand how some people always seem to have arguments or disagreements with friends and family. For one it sounds exhausting! Work I just swallow it unless it goes too far but then I take procedural approach to dealing with issues. With my kids and very occasionally OH I take your OH attitude shout loudly and then move on.

fannyanna

I can't think of anyone I've had a falling out with and they therefore don't like me. With regards to friends and family there's never been a falling out. I know for sure that people have annoyed me and I'm sure I've annoyed other people. But I guess we all bite our tongues and get over it.

I do often torture myself with thinking other people don't like me but there's no evidence to suggest that's the case and I think I'm just falling foul of my low self esteem.

Robisere

In our complex of 23 Sheltered Housing Bungalows, one couple who do not like us and have made a stupid point of saying so in public. We could not care less and make that obvious, which appears to drive them mad, glaring at us whenever they see us. I laugh in their faces, wife just ignores them. Several neighbours have said that they find this hilarious and they don't like them either.

I don't give a damn whether someone likes me or not, they should do as I do and tell me their feelings to my face. I am quite easy-going, the only things that worry me would be anything happening to family or REAL friends: I have a big mate in hospital right now, cancer and a heart attack, taken to hospital 2 days ago. I would be heartbroken if he left us, one of my oldest friends.

I am the "glass half-full" type, wife is the pessimist. I feel life is good despite my disabilities and do not see the point in falling out. I reject grudges.

Confusedandneedhelp

If im living life the way i should be, then everyone!

but in reality it's mostly my ex's family (ex likes me now lol)

FattyBettyBoo

It;s funny a few people mentioned work as it was a work colleague that got me thinking. In emails she is blunt/rude and everyone says 'oh that's just her she's like that with everyone'. She seems to make me more cross than she does others. She was rude again this morning, but then came into the office and she perfectly pleasant. I had decided I was going to ignore her beforehand. Her behaviour made me think that maybe I do take things too personally, and that OH may be right to just let people vent then carry on.

Work is one place where you have to mix with people you may normally choose not too, this goes for the school gates too. I also have horses which means you can be on a yard where not everyone's personalities compliment each other.

BTW, I do have lots of friends and some extremely close ones at that. Thought it was worth mentioning!