New here - please help :-(

debt_doctor

Sorry, had to go out,but ill contact you tommorrow to see which local office it is because this mort payment needs to be sorted, Its your money and you are entitled to it !!

BEST WISHES

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

It is quite possible that I did not phone the bank to cancel the 1st standing order :-(

Liz

Ok, so MCS did not take two payments a month, you accidently paid them twice a month?

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

Right, popped in to Ludlow to see the manager (I think!) of HSBC and MLA is a Managed Loan Account. - great

He wasn't sure what an MDA is....

Liz

Acey

It is MBA.

Is this a typo or dod you ask him the wrong question?

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

If I move, or (heaven forbid) ever move anyone in here, I have to give my sons £14,000!!! This would have gone to the ex but he chose to put it in trust for the boys rather than immediately have it taken off him to pay his legal fees.....

Liz

Acey

Given what you have already told us about your divorce settlement, how and why did you and your solicitor agree to this settlement?

I appreciate that you were working at the time, but the minimum is usually that the parent with whom the children lives keeps the house and that the other parent pays maintenance. If there is any equity release, it is usually years down the line, often when the oldest child reaches 18 years old. If the absent parent does not pay maintenance, then their share of any equity is reduced or cancelled.

As it is you are trapped geographically and financially into a deal that is not in your best interests or that of your children.

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

OK, the letter about the payment says....

We confirm that we are prepared to accept repayment our your debt in installments.... £21 by 28/01/2007 then monthly payments of £21 by the 28th day of each month....

Liz

ACEY

I am going to send you stuff on the loan as soon as possible but I want you to do 2 things.

1. Re-instate the £21 per month standing order. I know you hate it, and I know that technically you could just pay £1 per month.

However you have to understand that as you have a lot of equity, it is better for you to pay them a small amount each month than to risk them putting a charge on the house. If you do not pay the amount set in those proceedings, they can make your bankrupt so that they can get the whole amount owed.

Givn the deal re the £14,000 penalty for selling you really have to protect yourself.

We will be able to reduce the debt, but some of it will almost certainly still be owing, so it is important to deal with this now and keep your credit rating good.

2. Get two files, one for your old HSBC current account and one for the HSBC loan and the MCS paperwork. Put everything you have into the two files and put it into date order.

HAve a busy few days ahead (work and our local festival)

Frith

I showed him the paperwork so he would have got the abbreviation right. He thinks it is to some other account in a different bank.

There aren't the right words to say how I feel about my solicitor.... both in the finances and the fact that evil ex has my sons with him on holiday at the moment - for a week - despite the fact he was nearly as evil to them as he was to me....

But I digress. Yes, I can get the folders etc but am going away tomorrow until Sunday. Will do Sunday night.

Liz

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

evil ex has my sons with him on holiday at the moment - for a week - despite the fact he was nearly as evil to them as he was to me....

As for the access thing, we had that, absolute hell.

At one point, he managed to get three days access during each school holiday (we were living 300 miles away) even though he had physically abused me.

Eventually we got dragged up to the High Courts to talk to the judge. Despite the fact that the old scrot asked me if he had ever smacked me when we lived on the farm, to which I honestly answered no as it happened after that, I was in such a state that he stopped the access visits. As my mother was forbidden to explain why we are going to London, I did not know what he was was trying to find out so did not explain that on the worst occasion he nearly killed me.

However my bro and sis both wanted to see him, which I could understand in some ways. Not least that we were living in poverty and he had lots of money to buy stuff and stuff matters to teens. It caused a lot of grief.

What is important is that you try to be reasonable with the boys re your ex. Hard I know but if our mother had been able to cope with the situation better, both of them would have stopped seeng him earlier.

As it happened sis just told him as soon as she was 16, "by the way, I am not coming" because he had lied comrehensively about something. Bro carried on seeing him and in the end went to live with him. So he left him with nothing to eat, no money and went away for 10 days. Cue distraught bro on phone to mum begging her to help him get back to her. It was several years before bro spoke to him again, and really only when he was dying that they saw each other.

If you have kids, even if you divorce you still have to deal with your ex for the rest of your life.

If at any point the kids come back telling you that something wrong has happened, encourage them to talk to a third party outside the family. If you try to tackle it you may be accused of "trying to turn the kids against him".

My mother's biggest mistake was discouraging me from talking about it to anyone because she was frightened of social services. this meant that she had no contemporaneous (sp) record, no one who could collaborate the story and basically it was suggested that either she must have colluded (bad mum) or she was making it sound worse than it was (bad person).

Frith

Well, things are much better in that the mad Cafcass Officer (who accused me of lying etc and also said "lots of women cry domestic abuse") was retired off and someone sensible was appointed afterwards. Then the ex wrote his 4th and final statement and lied about me in 1 paragraph and about the Cafcass Officer's report in 32 paragraphs!! This didn't go down very well....

Since I left he has had another girlfriend, moved in with her, taken all her money, punched her son in the head, been evicted... she is now living in a squat with no electricity whereas he is living in relative comfort with his mother again.

Now he is single once again, he seems to be treating the boys quite well. They don't like the way he treats his mother, but it was better than the way he treated his ex girlfriend, including getting all her pants out of her underwear drawer and cutting them up with scissors in front of them.

As for Social Services, he phoned them up and told them I was beating the boys up. They did come out - for 5 minutes. He also asked the Health Visitors to write reports about the 2 of us and they phoned a few NHS workers we had had contact with (eldest son is deaf and has little squint) and he had shouted abuse at 3 NHS workers - 1 was so frightened she phoned the HV to let them know! So those reports really didn't work in his favour!

And my car mysteriously vanished on what would have been our 8th wedding anniversary. Everything was thrown out just up the road (which is unusual, so I was told). My car then went backwards and forwards past the same speed camera before being parked in Sainsburys, stamped on, windows smashed and set on fire.....

They are coming home tomorrow!

Anyway, back to finances!! The £14,000 to my sons doesn't have to be paid until they reach 18. BUT... it does have to be paid if I move or if some bloke moves in (I think you can imagine how unlikely the latter option is).

I hope to get a job starting in January for 16 hours a week or more (but not quite full time). I always worked 30 hours - full time until I had my breakdown last year. I'm an archaeologist/museum curator but its time to do something else.

Liz
P.S Hope you had a good weekend. I went to see a Uni friend, hadn't stayed at her house for 10 years!

RAS

RAS wrote: »

ACEY

I am going to send you stuff on the loan as soon as possible but I want you to do 2 things.

1. Re-instate the £21 per month standing order. I know you hate it, and I know that technically you could just pay £1 per month.

However you have to understand that as you have a lot of equity, it is better for you to pay them a small amount each month than to risk them putting a charge on the house. If you do not pay the amount set in those proceedings, they can make your bankrupt so that they can get the whole amount owed.

Givn the deal re the £14,000 penalty for selling you really have to protect yourself.

We will be able to reduce the debt, but some of it will almost certainly still be owing, so it is important to deal with this now and keep your credit rating good.

2. Get two files, one for your old HSBC current account and one for the HSBC loan and the MCS paperwork. Put everything you have into the two files and put it into date order.

HAve a busy few days ahead (work and our local festival)

How you doing on this?

Will try and write tomorrow- manic here.

RAS

ACEY Debt doctor has been havig trouble getting this message to you and posted it on another forum.

Can you send the letters as he suggests.

RAS


debt doctor


FW: From ACEY
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Originally Posted by debt doctor
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Originally Posted by debt doctor
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Originally Posted by debt doctor
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Originally Posted by ACEY
Thanks, that'll be great!

I'm not about now until Sunday (going to stay with a friend) but will read and act on it Sunday night...

Liz



Hi acey, you need to write to both the parties below, indicating in your letter what you have already done to sort the problem and what response you have had ( ie none ! ), the hardship it is causing you, what exactly you want ( your mortgage interest paying from the 39th week and backdating )

JOB CENTRE PLUS
CHIEF EXECUTIVE
ROOM 607
CAXTON HOUSE
TOTHILL ST
LONDON
SW1H 9NA


THE INDEPENDENT CASE EXAMINER
PO BOX 155
CHESTER CH99 9SA

Please send both by recorded delivery. Please pm me if you need further help.

Best wishes.

ps this is what i have sent sooooo many times !! please direct acey to this post

Ta