teen standing his ground... wwyd?

oh.my.days.

I am another long time member, but have set up another account to ask this question, I am at an absolute loss. to start i will just ask the question that is in my mind, but i am happy to give some background if needed. i do think this would apply to any family though.

simply - if teen son has done something wrong to warrant the confiscation of internet, phone, ipod, and point blank refuses to hand over the devices, and as a rather small single mum (five foot notalot) with a rather big (six foot) teen absolutely standing his ground, what would you do?

I cant threaten him with wait til your dad gets home, and obviously I canny cuff his lugs?

so when a teen fronts up... what do you do?

hieveryone

Who pays the devices? Call the service provider and put a block on?

When you say front up, are you talking violent/aggressive behaviour?

ecgirl07

Put the electric off and read a book.

Alikay

I'd switch off the router for the evening. What did he do that was so terrible you needed to confiscate all those items, and how long is the confiscation to last for? I'd be wary of using too harsh a punishment with a teen, as it then shifts their focus away from their bad behaviour onto your harsh punishment. They need to be given the chance to "get it right", and you need to select a consequence that you are able to follow through.

oh.my.days.

thanks all, i ought to multi quote really, but, taking away his gadgets and internet is the only thing ive ever had that hurts him enough to make him think.

he has today for the very first time flexed his muscles and 'fronted up'. not getting violent with me but stood tall, chest out, in an almost 'make me' pose. i am a good foot shorter so he looks down to me.:( those things i'd confiscate are in his pocket so he knows full well i cant have them now.

globalds

stop feeding him

oh.my.days.

globalds wrote: »

stop feeding him

i have threatened that many a time... where do they pack it? :eek:

he is however, tall. as much as id like to, i cant reverse that

heartbreak_star

Another vote for switch off the wifi. OR wait until he's asleep and get the stuff. About 6am should be good...

HBS x

purpleshoes_2

Id switch off the router as well. Certainly wouldnt be allowing him access to the net after hes done what hes done today, but I think you need to take this as a sign that there might be trouble to come. I hope there isnt, but I cant ever remember my 16 year old brother do anything like that to my mum, who is also just over five feet tall, you really should consider speaking to someone you trust about this, should there be another similar incident.

itsanne

I sympathise, not that it helps. At one point we took the router out with us and removed the tv fuse going to bed, but that was easier because the items not allowed couldn't be kept in a pocket. Changing the router password, or physically it if you don't know how, would be a suitable starting point - and he can't use it until he's served his sentence.

How old is your son? There's a big difference between a thirteen and a sixteen year old. I think you need a bit more help with this, for he's just discovered that he can refuse to do as you ask.

One problem, which we never resolved, is that when people tell you what you should do they don't take account of the fact that almost everything assumes a degree of compliance in the first place.


ETA and remove the phone etc when he is asleep.

oh.my.days.

purpleshoes wrote: »

Id switch off the router as well. Certainly wouldnt be allowing him access to the net after hes done what hes done today, but I think you need to take this as a sign that there might be trouble to come. I hope there isnt, but I cant ever remember my 16 year old brother do anything like that to my mum, who is also just over five feet tall, you really should consider speaking to someone you trust about this, should there be another similar incident.

thank you - it does worry me somewhat, he really is and has been a very good kid, grades good, happy, etc .... until today, I challenged him on a 45min late in.... he stood firm and knew i couldnt do a thing. he lied by letting a girl pretend she was her mother. said girl contacted me on her mothers phone pretending she was her, he knew all along. and some other bits.