Couple & money - advice?

Primrose

I would sit down with his parents privately and tell them how concerned you are about his financial attitude. Perhaps you should move out and get him to shake up his ideas. If you are paying all the rent to his parents, tell them that as part of your plan to make him start learning how to behave responsibility, 50% of your direct debit for the rent in future will come from you and 50% from your boyfriend who must start taking responsibility for his share.

I suspect his parents' generosity to him over the years has partly been responsible for his attitude but ask for their cooperation now in getting him to start learning how to manage his finances. Tell them you are worried about marrying a man who demonstrates that he isn't responsible enough to look after their potential grandchildren. Maybe then they will see the connection and encourage him to sort himself out . But I certainly wouldn't start planning any wedding until you are 100% convinced that he can manage his finances in a responsible way. Believe me, you will regret it if you marry a spendthrift. And certainly don't ever set up a joint account with him.

Mojisola

Primrose wrote: »

I would sit down with his parents privately and tell them how concerned you are about his financial attitude.

If I had to consider talking to a BF's parents about his behaviour, I'd be walking away.

He's an adult, not someone's little boy.

Bonniepurple

Mojisola wrote: »

If I had to consider talking to a BF's parents about his behaviour, I'd be walking away.

He's an adult, not someone's little boy.

I often find that a word from my MIL has more impact than a sentence from me

aniahill

Bonniepurple wrote: »

I often find that a word from my MIL has more impact than a sentence from me

I'm sure you're not being walked all over though. He seems to have no respect for her and she can't go to the in laws every time he's a little pr1ck...

ViolaLass

I wouldn't be prepared to fix this via my OH's parents. If he wouldn't listen to me, I'd walk (I speak from experience, having had to threaten this. Luckily, it worked).

BucksLady

I would agree with what others have said - your partner is very immature. I also think to behave in the way he has - he's extremely selfish.
I hope you are able to reslove matters OP and things work out for you

LannieDuck

I think I'd be most annoyed that he kept promising he'd write a cheque on the first of the month... and then didn't.

If this has happened over and over, he's promising you something that he knows full well he has no intention of doing. There's a serious lack of respect there.