Change of Names after Wedding

Seanymph

My kids have never had he same name as me as they have their dad's family name and we were never married.

It has never caused any problem at all and we've travelled extensively.

it has never caused a problem at school, or at hospitals - I just say I'm their mum - and to be honest, with so many unmarried couples they just seem to anticipate not all mums to have the same names as their kids now.

Consequently it doesn't matter if it's a mum with a different maiden name, or a mum with a new married name (I've had three names since my kids were born, and none of them were the same as theirs!).

If she wants to take your name it will cause her no problems - if she doesn't it will be a useful excuse for her to say she wants to remain the same as them...

UKTigerlily

How about you change your surname to hers? Bingo all have the same surname, after all it isn't her ex's name it is hers now and her kids!

maman

Mojisola wrote: »

If the father has parental responsibility, he has to give his permission.

You can do it - just like you can break any laws - but you shouldn't and if the father objects, the names would have to be changed back.

That was my understanding too just as, in those circumstances, I thought you'd need father's permission to take children out of the country. Passport control may not be hot on it but I thought that those were the rules.


I didn't change my name on 2nd marriage but kept my ex's name. It was partly for my DD who was at school at the time but mainly because it was how I was known professionally. I don't even think about it as anything to do with ex.

whodathunkit

Morglin wrote: »

I was happy to take DH's name, and think it's actually a nice tradition.

Lin

Times change.

It wasn't that long ago that when Jane Smith married Joe Bloggs she became Mrs Joe Bloggs, which sounds archaic now. You'd only become Mrs Jane Bloggs when you divorced him!

MoradoJess

What does your fiancee want to do? However she got it it's her name now and she might not even associate it with her ex. The easiest way is keeping the name.

If she wants to change her name but still wants to share a name with the kids there is another option but a lot more complicated. Get the ex to agree to changing the kids last names to a double-barrels name of his name and her maiden name. Then she can revert back to her maiden name and you can either take her name or double barrel it with yours. So for example:
Ex: Jones
Kids: Smith-Jones
You and her: Smith OR Smith-Williams

Admittedly a complicated way of doing things but might keep everyone happy.

Gloomendoom

whodathunkit wrote: »

Times change.

I suspect that the majority of newly married women still adopt their husband's surname.

whodathunkit

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I suspect that the majority of newly married women still adopt their husband's surname.

Many do, that doesn't make it any less antiquated though.

Gloomendoom

whodathunkit wrote: »

Many do, that doesn't make it any less antiquated though.

Well it rather does though. If it were antiquated it would be a practice confined to the past except, perhaps, for a few diehard traditionalists. On the contrary, as the majority of women still choose to share their husband's surname, it could be regarded as being the norm.