Change of Names after Wedding

graemecomp

My fiancee and I have both been married before and are planning a simple ceremony later this year.

The issue that came up recently was the name she will use after wedding. The issue is that by taking my name, that will leave her kids with a different name from her (ie her ex-husbands).

This could possibly be a problem for any foreign travel later - kids travelling with only one parent and that parent having a different surname.

Potential solution was for her to go double-barrelled for passport etc (maintaining link to kids name) but using on;y my name for day to day stuff.

However, I feel quite strongly (it turns out, hadn't thought about it before) that I don't really want to have her still having any connection to her ex's name.

I think that travel issues can be solved by just carrying birth certs / divorce / new wedding details when we travel.

I was looking for any advice, or details of people having come across similar problems.

Thanks.

Better_Days

What does your fianc!e want to do?

peachyprice

It's rare to have trouble when travelling, there will be a few people here who have been stopped, but compared to the millions who travel and haven't it's a drop in the ocean.

Carrying a copy of their birth certs, her decree absolute, your marriage cert and, if he's co-operative a letter from their father giving permission for them to travel should cover all bases.

Nada666

Why would the children have different names to her? Why would only she be changing her name?

graemecomp

Thanks - her ex is not co-operative at all and seems to enjoy causing problems whenever he gets an opportunity. He would just love us having to ask him for a letter to take the kids on holiday, before probably then refusing.

We were both really looking forward to her changing her surname to mine, but reading some travel requirements for some European countries as well as US/Canada was making us think about solutions - to a problem that we didn't realised existed.

graemecomp

Nada666 wrote: »

Why would the children have different names to her? Why would only she be changing her name?

I wouldn't be adopting the kids - I fully appreciate that they have and should continue to have a link with their dad.

I'm not trying to take his place, or exclude him - so they would continue to have his surname.

Shushannah

Nada666 wrote: »

Why would the children have different names to her? Why would only she be changing her name?

Please don't change the children's names. Some of the poor things I have taught have had 3 changes of names in 5 years.:(

peachyprice

graemecomp wrote: »

We were both really looking forward to her changing her surname to mine, but reading some travel requirements for some European countries as well as US/Canada was making us think about solutions - to a problem that we didn't realised existed.

It really isn't a big problem, certainly not one to stop your fiancee taking your name. I've taken my children all over the world, never been stopped, anywhere, most people never are.

Where have you read these requirements?

Georgiegirl256

graemecomp wrote: »

This could possibly be a problem for any foreign travel later - kids travelling with only one parent and that parent having a different surname.

Why should there be any problems? Thousands of people travel all the time that have different surnames to their children.

However, I feel quite strongly (it turns out, hadn't thought about it before) that I don't really want to have her still having any connection to her ex's name. .

You feel quite strongly? I'm assuming your wife to be actually does want to change her name and not you insisting that she changes it?

graemecomp

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

You feel quite strongly? I'm assuming your wife to be actually does want to change her name and not you insisting that she changes it?

We were both keen to have the change - what I meant was when we thought that her keeping part of his name and double barrelling it with mine was a possibility, then I felt quite strongly that I didn't want his name to be part of her future name.

It may sound a little petty, but that's how it made me feel when we talked about it.

Mojisola

graemecomp wrote: »

The issue is that by taking my name, that will leave her kids with a different name from her (ie her ex-husbands).

This could possibly be a problem for any foreign travel later - kids travelling with only one parent and that parent having a different surname.

Potential solution was for her to go double-barrelled for passport etc (maintaining link to kids name) but using on;y my name for day to day stuff.

She could keep copies of the two marriage certs, the divorce papers and the children's birth certs with the passports in case she ever gets challenged.

She could leave her passport in her previous married name while being known socially by your surname. Lots of women who have established themselves at work under one name continue to use that while taking on their husband's name for other areas of their life.

As Better Days said - what does she want to do?