Time to finally sort this mess out

sortthismessoutnow

I am 44 years of age and married with three children (22, 14 and 10) and married (just about as he is horrified about our money situation). I have lived in debt my whole life but just managed to pay it. I got in a mess last year and started to use stupid lenders like wonga, pounds to pocket and quickquid!!!!! I know bloody stupid. I also have credit cards maxed to their limit and catalogue debts. I have got behind with payments but took a new higher paid job in February and have started to sort this mess out now. I am truly disgusted with myself and very ashamed but I will sort this out now and I will never have debt again. I will post up all my debts soon so you wonderful people can give me some help. I earn £40k and my husband £30k. We should be mortgage and debt free now but instead I struggle every month and rob peter to pay paul. No more, this crappy debt will be gone!!!!

thomathy

Great! Looks like you are on good salaries. But perhaps, like me, you have discovered the truth that unless you take control, it is impossible ever to earn enough to get ahead.

Most people on this board use http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php (and then format for MSE forums) - interested to see your results! Good luck. Change can be made quicker than you think, once determination kicks in.

sortthismessoutnow

Thanks will have a look at that now and will post up my SOA later. Does anybody else feel that deep sense of shame about being in so much debt? I go to bed thinking of it and wake up thinking about it too!

diamondfan25

Hi!!!
I was in exactly the same position 7 months ago!! I was a massive gambler & would use every last bit of my wage, I even used our morgage money once to fund my horrible addiction, but I'd also spend on catalogues etc.

7 months ago I was on the brink of losing everything, my husband & my daughters 11 + 9
I had debts of 20k!! Now though I have sorted everything out & I'm hoping by Xmas 2014 I will be clear of any debt!! I've had to sell my car & cut back on everything, I've even had to get 2 extra jobs to pay for my stupidity,

There is light at the end if the tunnel & this site is an absolute god send & has help me massively!!!

Good luck on yr journey, we are all in this together xx

Dobbibill

Hi sortt and welcome to the forum :wave:


Well done on admitting things to yourself first of all, it's sometimes hard to admit that things haven't been as perfect as we imagine but you seem very determined to put things right.


We have all had the horrid thoughts where it is on our mind last thing at night and first thing in the morning so you are certainly not alone in this. :eek:


It's now all about how you deal with things going forward that counts. The link that thomathy posted is a good place to start. Once you get that posted up a lot of people will be able to support you in how to tackle things and where cuts could be made to help. :T


I wish you all the best with the challenges that lie ahead.


#subscribed


DB

foxgloves

Just to say that I didn't have my LBM till I was in my early 40s, followed by my husband having his around 2 or 3 months later. You have a very good income, but as you have obviously found (& so did we!), the amount you owe just continues to rise proportionately to the amount you earn, unless there is a proper budget in place. We owed around 30k at its highest, we now owe nothing, except for our mortgage. Our indebtedness was due to nothing other than overspending & failing to budget. If you do a full SOA (spend a bit of time on it to get it as detailed as possible), I bet there will be lots of things you can cut out or at least cut down without really noticing any difference. For instance, we cut at least £100 a month off our grocery bill & we actually eat much better now. Giving up a non-essential such as a take-away every week or regular lattes in coffee shops can also add up to a decent saving. What I really wanted to say was for you not to be put off because you're in your mid-40s & have always lived like this. We are proof that it's never too late to change. We would quite simply NEVER want to go back to how we used to be with money. No bag of tat I could come home with now could ever make me feel as good as being in control of our money after so many years of winging it. Good luck!
f x