feeling really down

summerof0763

sorry for long one am 50 been divorced over 20 years and have two wonderful daughters and 5 fantastic grandchildren.
I no longer talk with my mum and sisters, and because of long term illness I don't work, so have literally nofriends
I am really shy and also profoundly deaf so because people don't always understand what I am saying they just ignore me.
its got to stage I am really depressed can go days without talking to anyone,have no one to go out with, wonder what the point is.I know it sounds very me me me but am just so down x

summerof0763

even on here no one cares guess am not worth it never mind not coming back on

aggypanthus

Hey , have a hug xxx

loobylou2

Please don't say that. I've only just seen your post and I do care believe me. You sound very depressed to me. Not much I can say really but have you tried talking to a doctor about your loneliness and feelings or the Samaritans. Also are there not organisations who provide help and support for people who have problems with their hearing. I seem to think that I pass the offices of an organisation called Sense on my way to and from work and that they offer help and support to people with sensory difficulties. Could you not contact them to see what help and support they offer??? I'm lucky in that I have my hearing but I had an illness which caused me to temporarily lose it earlier this year and I could see how frightening and isolating it would be if I were to lose it permanently. I do hope you are able to talk to someone about how you are feeling and get some help and support for yourself. Wishing you all the best and sending you love and hugs xxxx

aggypanthus

Sorry you feel so bad. Be patient as I am sure you will get supportive replies , I understand how horrid it is to see people have read your post yet no replies.
Deppression, lifes great mystery!.. I know it well, and of old. You have great family to focus on, does that help a bit?

z.n

So sorry you are feeling this way. No great ideas but WI can be really good for getting you out and about. Part of the problem will be that so many people work now and define themselves by it. They are too busy rushing around to take time. I often feel that having been forced to slow things down for children, they are now up and racing along and I can no longer keep up. Years ago I think perhaps people accepted slowing down a bit, having more time for friends and neighbours. Now most people seem to be rushed off their feet just trying to keep things together.

Have you investigated the local WI? Or depending on your level of physical disability something like a daytime swimming class where ladies go up and down the lanes, tending to stop and each end to chat for a mo (exercise out of the house might help your mood and you might find people have a coffee and chat afterwards). The trick is to find some people of similar age and interests with time to chat (and give you the time needed to make yourself understood.) I can see that a craft or other club would present problems if people chat while doing something. Something where people focus on a particular thing and then sit to chat about it would be better? Is Tai Chi a possibility? My MinL did it in a wheelchair for a number of years so there is a range of ability and it moves slowly so could be possible?

Mojisola

We've got a really good Hard of Hearing club - see if there's one in your area. They have monthly meetings and, of course, are really understanding about communication problems.

Billie-S

summerof0763 wrote: »

sorry for long one am 50 been divorced over 20 years and have two wonderful daughters and 5 fantastic grandchildren.
I no longer talk with my mum and sisters, and because of long term illness I don't work, so have literally nofriends
I am really shy and also profoundly deaf so because people don't always understand what I am saying they just ignore me.
its got to stage I am really depressed can go days without talking to anyone,have no one to go out with, wonder what the point is.I know it sounds very me me me but am just so down x

Oh Summer, you poor thing, don't be so down about nobody answering. It's Saturday morning and people will probably be out. If there's one thing I've learned about this site, it's that despite the bickering and backbiting that can go on; many many people can be very kind and understanding, and will even talk to you privately if you want, and can and will give some very helpful advice. Thing is, many people have been through very similar things.

I agree that you sound depressed. You seem to have reason to as well.

Have you spoken to a doctor? Have you told your daughters about this? Have you thought about trying to join any local groups? Hobby groups, friendship groups etc???

dandelionclock30

Why are your daughters not offering you a bit of support? I know people have their own lives but you are their mother.
I'm sure there must be a deaf group in your city which you can join. One of my friends girlfriends is totally deaf but her speech and lip reading is so good you wouldnt even know. If you feel you need some help with improving your communication is that something you could work on with a suitable person?Ask the G.P about who could help you?
Not everyone brushes off people who are difficult to understand, but people dont like saying pardon, pardon all the time as its embarrasing.
Best of luck with it , I think you will have to swallow your shyness and try to reach out to others who can help you.

Artytarty

It's not that people don't care, I'll be honest, I and forty others read your post and didn't reply. I'm not proud of that but I have WNO experience of the isolation of deafness. I feel for you, I really do.
I think we tend to click and read and assume someone with better ideas and more experience will post.
I do apologise .
Do you have any interests, like art or something, or gardening that you could join a club for?

summerof0763

hi sorry everyone as you can see am really down just now, my daughters are great but one lives away a bit so don't see her as much as I would like plus she really does have her hands full with 4 kids between 14 down to 8 months.
so mostly only people I see is my younger daughter and her son.
I damaged my back years ago and on strong pills for it, I used to love swimming but I can't do the breast stroke which is what my doc says would be best for my back, I went through a bad spell of depression a few years back and got put on antidepressants which did help my doc also put me for conselling but at end of first sesssion woman said she could not nelp me and that was end of it.
I have been deaf since I was a child I grew up in the country and never been given any help with my being deaf, I got bullied at school so tended not to draw attention to myself, but once I started work I had a few friends but they disappeared when I was too ill to go out any more.
I looked for meet up but nearest one is 25miles away, I joined a computer class but no one spoke to me I went 4 times then gave up.I just don't know what to do anymore just feel so lonely and isolated.thank you everyone sorry I have been grumpy xx