feeling really down

msb5262

Just seconding Billie-S...tell your GP. My GP was fantastic when I was suffering from depression. I do feel for you OP, please share what's happening with your GP for a start and with your family.

Techno_Mystic

I don't know what area of the country you are in, and this probably seems really patronising, but here is a couple of organisations you could join:

Oddfellows Friendly Society

Spice Activity Club (although this club specialises in outdoor activities it also does lots of meals and pub nights, and there are plenty of over age 40 people there).

*Robin*

Couldn't read and run, especially given that there aren't as many posters on the boards at weekends as during the week.. Have a virtual (((hug))), Summer; you do sound depressed so a trip to your GP could be useful.
Apart from that, try and get outside every day; fresh air really helps one's mood.
Very much hope you change your mind about post#2. After all, you have no communication problems on MSE.

BucksLady

Summer, sorry to hear you're feeling so low. There's been some really good suggestions to help you, but I was wondering if you've tried googling 'Befriending Service for Deaf' and your local area? I know someone in a similar situation as yourself and they made a lovely friend, who understood all the problems they faced.

dubs57

I can imagine you must feel very isolated. A friend of mine is also deaf and was very lonley and cut off. She got in touch with a charity called "hearing dogs" which train dogs to look after people who are deaf. She was given a little dog called Baz who is delightful and has completely changed her life.Her dog won an award and she went to a ceremony in London and met many famous people and is also lnvolved in fundraising. You must look them up it might suit you too.

Artytarty

Hi Summer,obviously I don't know you but I have a strong belief that everyone is good at something!
I'll bet you are a great cook or baker, maybe you have an eye for fashion or colour, etc.
How about the With.I.? It snot all jam and Jerusalem ! Lots of interesting guest speakers and outings. I'm not sure if you lip read or not, so sorry if that's inappropriate.
I suffered badly with empty nest syndrome a few years ago and I didn't want all the helpful suggestion on how, as I saw it, to fill my empty life.
However I did force myself to volunteer one day at week in a local charity shop. I love it! I enjoy doing the window displays. Meeting the customers and being with the other staff. We don't socialise outside of the shop but I look forward to going each week. Perhaps it's something you mig also enjoy?

Mojisola

summerof0763 wrote: »

I joined a computer class but no one spoke to me I went 4 times then gave up.I just don't know what to do anymore just feel so lonely and isolated.

When you are depressed/feeling very low and used to being isolated, you can unintentionally send out signals to other people that put them off speaking to you.

Did you walk into the class, look round and smile at people? Did you speak to the people sitting either side of you while you were getting settled at the computer? Did you ever comment on what you were learning - "This is going to be useful", "I'm not sure I'm doing this right" - what you say doesn't matter as long as it gives the other person a chance to say something back.

As you have a bad back, is your posture a bit hunched over? That can make it look as if you're trying to keep to yourself and don't want to communicate with other people.

It's worth practising making contact with other people - smile at people in shops, say something to the person in the queue at the checkout, etc. Even standing in front of a mirror at home and pretending to talk to someone will make it easier to do for real.

If you can find a class to join where people are doing something while they chat, you will have more chance to get to know people. Look for groups like card-makers, knit-and-natter, etc. Don't be afraid to talk to the organiser beforehand and explain that your speech isn't good - if the group don't make an effort to help you settle, find a nicer group. You may have to try a few before you find one that suits you.

Above all, though, get some help from the GP for depression because everything will become easier if you can tackle that.

Artytarty

^^^^ I agree. It's likely the class was task based, they were there to learn computer skills, not make friends.
I second the idea of a more chatty type class I n a subject you enjoy.
My OH is shy and he joined a wine appreciation class! Crickley, the craic was mighty!! He eventually left because he couldn't keep up with the late. Ight midweek and many meals out for any excuse, the people were very friendly and inclusive. There was a kind lady in the class who is totally blind and she was well integrated.

whitewing

I've been at work this morning or I would have replied sooner!

I think this forum is great for virtual friends and that helps me face the world.

geminilady

Hi,I have suffered depression and know how awful it can be,go back to the Doctors and get some medication if it helped before.Have you confided in your Daughter that lives near?maybe she could help you get out and meet new people.Also why don't you look into lessons to teach you the breast stroke if it will help your back problems and you might meet new friends at the classes.I know you said the nearest deaf group is 25 miles away but there must be people with hearing problems that live nearer,not sure how you would get in touch with them though,as someone said you could contact sense or the group that is too far away for ideas.