Families where all parents work, how do you cope?

slightlyconfused1

I have been a SAHM for most of the past 11 years. I have been toying with the idea of turning to work. DH would support any decision I make regarding returning to work although obviously his life is easier if I am at home.

Last week youngest two children developed chickenpox (both on same day) They have had it for 10 days now and youngest is still developing new spots. It has been easy to have them at home. I have had to cancel some things we had planned as a family but other than that it has been no problem.

How do you cope if you are working? Obviously both children are infectious and so no childcare. Do you just take unpaid leave/ holidays? What on earth do you do if you are not allowed holidays or time off?

The more I think about it, the more I really admire working parents.

Ms_Chocaholic

I know when my daughter was young, I was working full-time and I used a childminder. She developed chickenpox one day so I rang the childminder who was happy for me to take her anyway, not sure in the H&S world whether that's allowed now though.

Other than that, split annual leave, family members to help out etc.

[Deleted User]

Its hard, but generally managable if you have understanding bosses, great friends and family or are self employed.

I'm on my own with 2 children and have chosen to be self employed as it gives me more flexibility with choosing my own hours so I don't need childcare. If the kids are ill i'll see if I can juggle my clients to another day or if lovely parents can help. If i'm ill I will carry on unless its D&V, which would be irresponsible of me to work.

I have been self employed for nearly a year and on the day before I started my first week my 5 year old daughter came down with chicken pox. I only had 1 hour sleep that night and the night after. Luckily a friend could be with her whilst I worked (5 hours) and I was home by school pick up. But just as she got through it, 2 weeks later, round 2 when 6 year old son got the pox. Back to 1 hours sleep for a few nights and feeling like the walking dead. Looking back I don't know how I did it. I certainly wouldn't want to go through that again.

My business has established and evolved now and taken a slightly different direction, so the end result has worked out.

What I am trying to say is that self employed isn't for everyone, but it was the means to an end and it got the JSA off my back. Prior to that I was working 2 mornings a week in a supermarket, but once my youngest turned 5, I had to increase.

My situation is different from yours though. If you have time on your side i'd be looking at term time jobs or using this time to gain skills to get a term time job. That's what I would have done if I had a crystal ball about 7 years ago.

building_with_lego

They're not contagious after five days though, regardless of whether they're still developing spots. The rule is five days or when all the spots have dried, whichever happens first.

I'm trying to work this out for next year, when I'm at last out of the house full-time. I guess we'll be taking it in turns to be on call for the poorly children, and have to work it out from there if there's something longer than a day or two. Logistical nightmare!

peachyprice

You just get on with it.

Mojisola

peachyprice wrote: »

You just get on with it.

That's easy to say but doesn't explain the practical logistics of managing emergencies when both parents are working.

Janepig

building_with_lego wrote: »

They're not contagious after five days though, regardless of whether they're still developing spots. The rule is five days or when all the spots have dried, whichever happens first.

I'm trying to work this out for next year, when I'm at last out of the house full-time. I guess we'll be taking it in turns to be on call for the poorly children, and have to work it out from there if there's something longer than a day or two. Logistical nightmare!

My understanding is that they're at their most contagious before the spots appear and so you don't even know they're contagious! DS caught chicken pox from his best friend at day nursery, he didn't even see him once he developed the illness, the last time he saw him was the day before his spots appeared. The rule then was that they couldn't go to nursery for five days after developing the spots, but they went back while they were still spotty, they took ages to go if I remember rightly.

Luckily my employer is okay about having to take emergency leave for situations like this. DD had it before DS was born so I was fortunate in that I didn't have one child catch it and then as soon as they are better then the other one gets it.

Jx

WantToBeSE

Deleted_User wrote: »

Its hard, but generally managable if you have understanding bosses, great friends and family or are self employed.

I'm on my own with 2 children and have chosen to be self employed as it gives me more flexibility with choosing my own hours so I don't need childcare. If the kids are ill i'll see if I can juggle my clients to another day or if lovely parents can help. If i'm ill I will carry on unless its D&V, which would be irresponsible of me to work.

I have been self employed for nearly a year and on the day before I started my first week my 5 year old daughter came down with chicken pox. I only had 1 hour sleep that night and the night after. Luckily a friend could be with her whilst I worked (5 hours) and I was home by school pick up. But just as she got through it, 2 weeks later, round 2 when 6 year old son got the pox. Back to 1 hours sleep for a few nights and feeling like the walking dead. Looking back I don't know how I did it. I certainly wouldn't want to go through that again.

My business has established and evolved now and taken a slightly different direction, so the end result has worked out.

What I am trying to say is that self employed isn't for everyone, but it was the means to an end and it got the JSA off my back. Prior to that I was working 2 mornings a week in a supermarket, but once my youngest turned 5, I had to increase.

My situation is different from yours though. If you have time on your side i'd be looking at term time jobs or using this time to gain skills to get a term time job. That's what I would have done if I had a crystal ball about 7 years ago.

Same here. I am a single parent with 2 children and set up as a self-employed cleaner because I couldn't find work. I have a mix of private clients, and do some work for an agency.


Everyone has been really understanding when my children are ill, they. They know that I am by myself, no family to help out and all of my friends work.

Beckyy

I've always wondered this as well. Colleagues seem to have very helpful family and friends or call in favours to get work covered in situations like this.

iammumtoone

I don't know I just dread the time I have to find out, since ive been working ds has not been ill. I know I am legally allowed to take time off to sort out childcare but that just it, only time to sort out alternative arrangements not time off myself to care for ds when hes ill. I am also on my own and don't really have family to help for long, I have no idea what I will do will just have to cross that bridge if and when it comes to it!

FBaby

Children will get chicken pox at some stage, it's almost inevitable (and better they do so anyway) so I discussed this issue with my boss when the kids started nursery and I asked him if he was ok with me working a combination of some days at home and then take some day as holiday and he said that was fine and we would work something out. Every time there was an outbreak at nursery, I would warn him, but every time they didn't get it, until my DD was in year 2 at school! We had laugh so much about them not ever getting it, when they finally did, I think he was relieved! I did as we'd agree and it worked out ok, even though both had it 2 weeks apart.