Anyone else struggle to make chit chat?

Yolina

Idiophreak wrote: »

If you're passionate about it, why don't you think people will be interested?

The point of the exercise as I see it, is just to manage the superficial inane chit-chat in social situations like weddings where you're not likely to see most of these people again anyway, so 1) I keep *them* talking and 2) I pay very little attention to what the subject is :rotfl:

On the other hand, I have a very good friend of over 15 years with whom I actually only have very few common interests - and it's great because we can spend time talking about things that the other person doesn't necessarily know much about but it's way beyond small-talk level.

Torry_Quine

Idiophreak wrote: »

If you're passionate about it, why don't you think people will be interested?

Granted, it may not be the same stuff they're passionate about...but if we all liked the same stuff it would be an awfully dull world...

It's part of a self-esteem issue I suppose.

System

I'll talk about any old carp me. Whether I'd be welcomed back is a different matter though.

aggypanthus

Judi, thats funny ! Lol

Person_one

Idiophreak wrote: »

But if OP isn't confident talking about Big Brother or holiday plans, how has that helped?

Conversation and 'chit chat' are just as much about listening (properly!) as talking.

aggypanthus

This could be a cross over with the thread by the lady entitled, No Interests. Seems a lot of similar probs talked about on there, re social problems.

It took me years to realise that I interupt with my next topic before the other person has finished, its incase my mind wanders and I forget what to say. Its as if I am afraid of the chat stalling to a silence.
I have been told that I ask too many questions, firing them out lol! Which I now see is my way of getting input, desparately trying to connect .

FatVonD

moromir wrote: »

- I like your shoes/handbag/haircut/impressive beard :P

Maybe avoid the one in bold if it's another woman you're talking to

Bogof_Babe

Just bear in mind that the other person is probably just as anxious as you are, and make it your objective to put them at their ease. Try not to think about what impression you're making, no-one will think more or less of you regardless, and at least you'll have possibly made someone's day by showing an interest in them.

And yes, it is perfectly okay to chatter on about the weather or other trivial matters. "Bus is late again"...

Idiophreak

focus888 wrote: »

I struggle to find something that i can talk about.

Can anyone offer any advice or tips?

Person_one wrote: »

Conversation and 'chit chat' are just as much about listening (properly!) as talking.

Agreed. But the OP wasn't asking about how to listen (see above)...

Anatidaephobia

Idiophreak wrote: »

If you're passionate about it, why don't you think people will be interested?

I think that a person can have lots of interesting hobbies and knowledge but still feel they lack the conversational skills to convey that information to another person. It's not so much that you have nothing to contribute, it's more that there are problems with the basics, like initiating conversation, reacting quickly enough, and not suffering from a mental block. Most people could write a list of topics of discussion on a piece of paper and have no problem with that but in the moment, with someone you don't know very well standing in front of her, your mind just goes blank.