Anyone else struggle to make chit chat?

focus888

I used to be quite bubbly when I was younger, as I've become older ive become alot more reserved and now i find it quite hard to have conversations with people i hardly know. I can be polite and ask how they are etc etc but then conversations end up being abit more awkward and dry up. I've fine with my friends and family just when it comes to new people i dont really know. Does anyone else have the same problem?

Main topics people talk about is tv shows, holidays or day outs etc but because i am so money consious i dont do any of those stuff and i dont watch tv. I struggle to find something that i can talk about.

Can anyone offer any advice or tips?

Idiophreak

focus888 wrote: »

Main topics people talk about is tv shows, holidays or day outs etc but because i am so money consious i dont do any of those stuff and i dont watch tv. I struggle to find something that i can talk about.

People talk about that stuff because it's what interests them and what they do most evenings. What interests you? What do you do most evenings? There's your answer.

moromir

Assuming you've been invited to something - could you try things like -

- How do you know the host?
- Have you travelled far?
- Isn't this a beautiful home?
- Oh is that a (insert flower here)? I've always wanted to know how to grow those...
- I like your shoes/handbag/haircut/impressive beard :P
- I wonder where I could get something similar

I struggle too so I try to find something to pay a compliment with a lead on question!

rainbowfairydust

You are not on your own with this..I too find it hard to chit chat with people i dont know that well (that includes work colleagues).

With regards to topics to discuss - how about talking about a great book you have just read or discussing something that have been in the papers that day?

Torry_Quine

I feel your pain as I'm in the same position. It's not as simple as just talking about what interests you.

Yolina

I've always loathed chit-chat with people I barely know and with whom I have nothing in common, it's just so incredibly tedious. The best way I've found of dealing with it (when I can't avoid the situation in the first place that is :rotfl: ) is to keep them talking so that I don't have to so once they get started on [insert random subject], I just ask *plenty* of questions.

Edit: and now if you'll excuse me, the Le Mans free practice has just started - I'm off the computer and in front of the box for the next few hours

Idiophreak

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I feel your pain as I'm in the same position. It's not as simple as just talking about what interests you.

Isn't it? How come?

"Did you see Big Brother last night".
"No, I was busy digging some weeds out in the garden"
BOOM subject changed!

"Do you have holiday plans this year?"
"No, looking after my 43 cats keeps me pretty busy"
BOOM!

Lord knows I'm the most boring guy under the sun, but I generally find something to ramble on about.

A highlight from my conversation at the last wedding I went to "say, do you know much about packaging recycling legislation?" (boom!)

rainbowfairydust

Idiophreak wrote: »

A highlight from my conversation at the last wedding I went to "say, do you know much about packaging recycling legislation?" (boom!)

think i would have walked off if someone said that to me..or was that the point of the topic? ;)

sweetme

I'm the opposite, I used to struggle with chit chat when I was younger, I now happily chat away to anybody and anything!

Try asking open questions, questions that need more than a yes or no answer, should lead to at least a basic conversation.

SailorSam

Idiophreak wrote: »

A highlight from my conversation at the last wedding I went to "say, do you know much about packaging recycling legislation?" (boom!)

I think i may have met you.

I laugh but i'm no better.
I read all the books and websites as to how you're suppose to start chit-chat, but it never seems that easy when you get into real life.

Idiophreak

rainbowfairydust wrote: »

think i would have walked off if someone said that to me..or was that the point of the topic? ;)

Meh, after a point you just think "what the heck" and dive in, I guess.

Most often at these things you're stuck with all the other other halves, you really have nothing to say to one another...so if I've sat and listened to them talk about cricket for 5 minutes, they can sit and listen to me wax lyrical about fractal self-similarity, a rap battle clip I saw on youtube or my marathon training ("yeah, the trick is to just keep running....but for, like, a really long way!").

Everyone loses, but that's the point of these things, right?