It's this stupid little thing...

Kayalana99

Hi guys,

Just wanted an opinion here (I have a lot more bigger problems going on but sometimes it's the little things that get to you sorry it's so petty! )

It was my friends birthday on Monday last week and I had originally said I was going to make her a cake because she made me one ~ she wanted a white chocolate cake and I decided as I knew a really good cake maker I would ask her to do it. So I paid quite a bit out for a white chocolate cake + I also made some fairy cakes so that I had made her something as well.

Roll on the Monday her brother had made a cake to so she asked if I didn't mind we only had a bit of his cake today and she would have some of the other one in a couple days and drop some round for us to try as well (bare in mind we were rushing round to get out so it wasn't a big deal)

Wed ~ I asked her if she had some and she said not yet but she will tomorrow.

Fri ~ I sent her a message basically saying what was it like you must of tried it my now it will go off soon what did you think? To which she read and hasn't replied since....

I should of added this in somewhere before but my cake maker is family and she has been asking me what it tasted like as she hadn't done white chocolate...I've been truthful about it but on Friday she asked me again which prompted me to ask her again.

My family member is basically under the impression I am lying to her to spare her feelings and that the cake was rubbish (she is so good at making cakes but is so paranoid they don't turn out right ) and I really feel bad about it as she spent 3~4 hours on this cake and all she wanted was a 'it was really nice' and I didn't even get to try it in the end anyway, as much as I wanted to try it a simple I really enjoyed it at this point would be enough for me!


Looking back now I wish I had just lied about it to FM.

Problem stands is I love my friend to bits....but I am unsure what to do as I don't want to fall out with her but just feel like shes been really ungrateful and now shes blantly ignoring me?

Mojisola

Why not tell her that the cake maker would really appreciate some feedback (even if it's not good) as it was a new line?

Maybe it was awful and your friend doesn't know how to tell you.

Kayalana99

I have said that on Wednesday that she really would like honest feedback(when she tries it ofc) as she likes to know how she can improve & first time she has done white choc...I really really doubt it was awful she is such an excellent cake maker. I even told her that she had been asking about it.

We are pretty open with each other as well I think she would tell me even if it was.

Idiophreak

Putting the shoe on the other foot, it's a bit...weird, isn't it?

Someone gives you a cake then keeps on hounding you for feedback...it's a bit like "I thought you'd given me a gift, I didn't sign up for market research..."

Obviously it would be polite for her to send a message saying it's lovely etc (even if it isn't) - but if this isn't forthcoming, I think continuing to pressure is just a bit OTT.

PlymouthMaid

I expect your friend was 'over-caked' and it just went stale and she hasn't the heart to tell you the truth.

Kayalana99

It's not someone though, she is my best friend and we tell each other everything (sorry I know that sounds childish but it's just how it is) so I wouldn't of even considered not saying something like that out of fear of being impolite.. if you give someone a gift I don't think it's bad taste to ask if they liked it.(excuse the pun)

It is possible it went stale but she was so excited about having a white chocolate cake I find it hard to believe anyone would get a cake like that and not try it?

Idiophreak

Kayalana99 wrote: »

It's not someone though, she is my best friend and we tell each other everything (sorry I know that sounds childish but it's just how it is) so I wouldn't of even considered not saying something like that out of fear of being impolite.. if you give someone a gift I don't think it's bad taste to ask if they liked it.(excuse the pun)

No, it's not bad taste to ask if they like it...Like:

"Do you like it?"
"It looks lovely! Thanks very much!"

That's kind of a normal response to being given a cake.

"Do you like it?"
"It looks lovely! Thanks very much!"
"I want to know if it's tasty - let's have some later in the week"
"OK, super duper!"

That's...err...OK.

"Do you like it?"
"It looks lovely! Thanks very much!"
"I want to know if it's tasty - let's have some later in the week"
"OK, super duper!"
Later in the week: "Did you try it yet!!?"

That's...err...pushy?

"Do you like it?"
"It looks lovely! Thanks very much!"
"I want to know if it's tasty - let's have some later in the week"
"OK, super duper!"
Later in the week: "Did you try it yet!!?"
"Err, not got round to it yet..."
Later still: "How about now!? The cakemaker needs to know!"

That's bordering on "not cool".

At this stage, you can cut your losses and leave it there or head for:

"Do you like it?"
"It looks lovely! Thanks very much!"
"I want to know if it's tasty - let's have some later in the week"
"OK, super duper!"
Later in the week: "Did you try it yet!!?"
"Err, not got round to it yet..."
Later still: "How about now!? The cakemaker needs to know!"
...
Next week: "Hey! !!!!!!? Tell me how great my cake was already!"

At which stage she'll probably make sure her rabbit cage is double locked....

Kayalana99

This isn't the whole conversation but the whole CAKE conversation

Me:
Did u try that cake yet? they are going to keep bugging me haha xx
Her:
Haha not yet. Not had any cake at all yet
Her: might try it tomorrow

Friday message that she ignored was ; You must of tried your cake by now it won't last forever what did u think?


I was really looking for advice on how to handle things not what is polite to ask or not.

I think Monday I said something along the lines of my cake maker has asked me what you think already bless her she would love a bit of honest feedback as she hasn't made white choc yet. (Previous Monday before we had even seen it)

Georgiegirl256

PlymouthMaid wrote: »

I expect your friend was 'over-caked' and it just went stale and she hasn't the heart to tell you the truth.

I'm thinking the same thing.

I'd ask her one more time OP, and then after that I'd leave it, or it could come across as too pushy and your friend will be thinking "give it a rest about the blooming cake already!"

It does seem strange though that for someone who wanted a white chocolate cake that bad she hasn't even tried a little nibble. Do you think something might have happened to it and she doesn't want to tell you?

peachyprice

Kayalana99 wrote: »

It's not someone though, she is my best friend and we tell each other everything (sorry I know that sounds childish but it's just how it is) so I wouldn't of even considered not saying something like that out of fear of being impolite.. if you give someone a gift I don't think it's bad taste to ask if they liked it.(excuse the pun)

It is possible it went stale but she was so excited about having a white chocolate cake I find it hard to believe anyone would get a cake like that and not try it?

It's possible she hasn't even tried it yet. It will keep fresher uncut, perhaps she's put it in the fridge/freezer for this weekend but doesn't know how to respond to you hounding her as to what it ws like.

PlymouthMaid

I can understand why you are asking her as you are in the middle of this cake thing but your friend must think you are a bit obsessed. I think I would just tell the cakemaker that it was lush and make other suitable cake appreciative noises if she pushes for more info.