Sharing/conflict resolution at nursery school?

notanewuser

iammumtoone wrote: »

Am I missing something, is that not what sharing is???

When teaching my ds to share if he had hold of a toy another child wanted to play with, I spoke to him and explained he had been using it for a while and it was only fair he let the other child have a turn., he would always hand it over, likewise if he had not had it long I or the other parent would explain that ds had not played with it for long but once he had finished it would be the other child's turns - that is sharing, what other way is there??

Sorry, I probably didn't explain it well. What you've described is exactly what we've done. Making her aware that someone else wants it rather than forcing her to give it up, IYSWIM. She'll usually give it up herself within a minute or 2.

Spendless

notanewuser wrote: »

That, plus the determination they have to force the children to "worship" at every given opportunity has made me extremely anxious. (It's a state school, and my gentle explanation that we're happy with RE, but not worship was met with "my children go to Sunday School and I for one am glad they're around moral people" - !!!!!!??)

Is it a faith school? I'm not entirely sure what you mean about 'worship' could you explain more? My kids didn't go to a Church school but the history of the school has a religious background (as in many years ago when there was first a school in my village it was in the vicarage and the vicars wife taught the kids) as such I'm aware that there has been more religion in than say the community school my sisters kids attended eg once after a music concert, we were asked to all bow our heads and pray to give thanks for the music. I *think* you can refuse permission for them to attend assembly, but am not sure. My son decided he was an atheist when he was 8 and has never swayed from that (he's now 14)

BTW - did you answer that atheists are perfectly capable of having a moral compass?

toniq

notanewuser wrote: »

That, plus the determination they have to force the children to "worship" at every given opportunity has made me extremely anxious. (It's a state school, and my gentle explanation that we're happy with RE, but not worship was met with "my children go to Sunday School and I for one am glad they're around moral people" - !!!!!!??)

Then find another school, If you are not happy I think you are putting obstacles where there aren't any.

No nursery/school will do everything the way you want.

It is a learning curve for YOU as well as your child.

The more you fuss and worry about things the more your daughter will pick up on and it could make her wary of nursery.

notanewuser

Spendless wrote: »

Is it a faith school? I'm not entirely sure what you mean about 'worship' could you explain more? My kids didn't go to a Church school but the history of the school has a religious background (as in many years ago when there was first a school in my village it was in the vicarage and the vicars wife taught the kids) as such I'm aware that there has been more religion in than say the community school my sisters kids attended eg once after a music concert, we were asked to all bow our heads and pray to give thanks for the music. I *think* you can refuse permission for them to attend assembly, but am not sure. My son decided he was an atheist when he was 8 and has never swayed from that (he's now 14)

BTW - did you answer that atheists are perfectly capable of having a moral compass?

My husband did, very politely and she just raised an eyebrow at him.

No, not a faith school. They have assembly every morning, which is conducted as "an act of Christian worship". Nursery children included even though its bot a statutory requirement. The head said quite clearly that children could be excluded from that if parents wished. Great, we thought.

When I asked the nursery teacher what DD would be doing if we excluded her she replied "I don't know. It's never happened. Plus we pray at lunchtime and at the end of the day too, so removing your daughter would be significant and would isolate her from others".

When I explained why we were uncomfortable with it, and that the morals, wider awareness of the world and environment etc could be achieved perfectly well without having to reference any particular belief system she snapped "well, we could have a good old theological debate about that! Speak to the head.". We did. He was understanding but felt his hands were tied.

notanewuser

toniq wrote: »

Then find another school, If you are not happy I think you are putting obstacles where there aren't any.

No nursery/school will do everything the way you want.

It is a learning curve for YOU as well as your child.

The more you fuss and worry about things the more your daughter will pick up on and it could make her wary of nursery.

There is no other school. All state schools have to [STRIKE]try to indoctrinate children thanks to some hideous tradition[/STRIKE] hold a "daily act of worship". There is no secular state school option. Its the system that's at fault, not the school itself (apart from their insistence that extra prayers be said and that nursery children are included.)

There is no fuss or worry around DD.

iammumtoone

notanewuser wrote: »

My husband did, very politely and she just raised an eyebrow at him.

No, not a faith school. They have assembly every morning, which is conducted as "an act of Christian worship". Nursery children included even though its bot a statutory requirement. The head said quite clearly that children could be excluded from that if parents wished. Great, we thought.

When I asked the nursery teacher what DD would be doing if we excluded her she replied "I don't know. It's never happened. Plus we pray at lunchtime and at the end of the day too, so removing your daughter would be significant and would isolate her from others".

When I explained why we were uncomfortable with it, and that the morals, wider awareness of the world and environment etc could be achieved perfectly well without having to reference any particular belief system she snapped "well, we could have a good old theological debate about that! Speak to the head.". We did. He was understanding but felt his hands were tied.

I thought a state school was not allowed to concentrated on one religion, might be worth looking into this.

Why are your going to this nursery? are there any others? Is it that the nursery is attached to a good school and you have a better chance of getting in if your daughter attends the nursery, if that is the case, it might be worth just 'putting up' with it, at that age it wont really effect your daughter she will soon forget about it when she starts the school and you are able to withdraw her from this practice. Good schools are hard to get into a year of worship might be a sacrifice you have to make.

toniq

I'm a buddhist to some extent and went to a school that said prayers in every assembly, We just done as everyone else done, It was the done thing back then.

It wouldn't phase me if my daughters nursery done the same, She starts next year.

If it isn't what you want tell the school and as others have said the school wont force any child to pray etc.

Goodluck

thorsoak

So, because "there is no other school" the school should change because it does not comply with your ideals? If the other parents are happy with the status quo, then it is up to you to find another school that you are happy with - whether or not it is in your area.

iammumtoone

notanewuser wrote: »

All state schools have to [STRIKE]try to indoctrinate children thanks to some hideous tradition[/STRIKE] hold a "daily act of worship". .

Are you sure?? I don't think ds does, might be something I will ask about.

EDIT: just been googling it :eek: ds has never mentioned anything about it, I will have to ask him now, he is probably not even aware of what he is doing!

notanewuser

iammumtoone wrote: »

Are you sure?? I don't think ds does, might be something I will ask about.

England have diluted the practice, but the Welsh Government still enforce it, and it forms part of the school's inspections.