Cant cope with lazy partner!!

Ms_Chocaholic

Spellkaster bought a treadmill last year !

pmlindyloo

northerntwo1 wrote: »

I wasn't going to comment as got bit during yet another ID of theirs. I even asked a GP at work as was scared for her. Then found out it was all a joke.

How many user names have they got?

fed_up_and_stressed

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Spellkaster bought a treadmill last year !

Oh I thought spellkaster was on high rate mobility dla ?

Ms_Chocaholic

fed_up_and_stressed wrote: »

Oh I thought spellkaster was on high rate mobility dla ?

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=62049695&postcount=7

MUMZ2BEE

malebolge wrote: »

In a way, you've raised a very valid point about partners in general - often they do have to do more than would normally expected and must feel bloody frustrated at times, but keep it in.
I take a very chilled attitude to my house. If it don't get done, it don't get done. I'm in a wheelchair, and have very limited use of my arms now, but I do love to garden and poke about around the house (using some interestingly adapted gadgets) and do what I can. My husband does the bulk of things, but I'm very aware that he needs to have a life that isn't totally revolved around housework and working full time.
That's why the cans of paint that we bought to redecorate the lounge have been unopened for 4 years... there's bags full of dry clothes that need ironing.... washing up can be in the sink for a few days and no one could ever say the house is tidy. Happy, yes. tidy - hell no. I'm sat with a pile of detritus around me as I type. And tbh, I don't give a damn. There's better things to be doing.
I do understand though, how it would be frustrating not to have a working kitchen. I went without a cooker for 8 months and used to swear at the microwave/oven regularly.
One thing I've done is to encourage friends & family to give their time, rather than gifts for birthdays & Christmas. We don't really need smellies or chocolate - so instead people do some ironing/ tidying/cooking etc. Perhaps that's an idea that could be used.
Something that I used only once, but it worked a treat, was a birthday party. I had half a kitchen floor laid for nearly 2 years. So.... I got in some plonk, cupcakes, asked a few people round - and had a 'Happy Birthday, Half-a-Floor' party. We all had a laugh, got drunk, and my floor was done within a couple of weeks.
From the sounds of it, your partner just can't do everything by himself. With all the goodwill in the world, if he's working long hours he's probably knackered by the weekend. It might be just too big a job for him, and he can't admit it. Perhaps rallying more support, in a good natured way, from family & friends might get things done - bit like the house decorating parties I used to go to years ago when I was in my teens & 20s.

I am getting someone in this week who can fit the washing machine back in so I dont have to go to the laundrette every week!!

I will also ask my brother to come in and help my partner with the kitchen.

My health issues are as such I simply cannot do this like heavy lifting due to having a heart condition so I cant help as much as I would like too!!

Its just that he has started doing the kitchen and has simply abandoned finishing it off.

He only needs to replace some flooring which has had woodworm init, put back the units in which he has made up, then we can call someone out to do the worktops!!

There not much to do at all, and it just frustrates me as he has not touched the kitchen now for over 5 weeks!!

My brother works long hours, but he still comes home and does things in the house!!

Morglin

WelshPaul wrote: »

I did, I'm not making it up.

Everything from the waste up worked just fine as far as I'm aware. He didn't fit out my entire kitchen granted, just replaced two work tops and fitted the cupboards underneath. like I said he did a good job. So having a disability does not mean you can't do some DIY.

I am a wheelchair user, at times, and I know what can and cannot be done, but your original post sounded as through the guy had fitted out the kitchen - which wouldn't be possible!

However, as this thread is apparently a wind up, it's all become hypothetical anyway. :wall:

Lin

MUMZ2BEE

I am totally appalled at some of the comments I have received!!

I need some help as I have no working kitchen and some comments are really quite disgusting!!

Its out of order I have had no working kitchen for 6 months, no washing machine since March!!

This site is very uncaring!!

Indie_Kid

Morglin wrote: »

I am a wheelchair user, at times, and I know what can and cannot be done, but your original post sounded as through the guy had fitted out the kitchen - which wouldn't be possible!

However, as this thread is apparently a wind up, it's all become hypothetical anyway. :wall:

Lin

Surely, you know what you can and can't do? Unless you have exactly the same issues as the OP?

WelshPaul

Morglin wrote: »

I am a wheelchair user, at times, and I know what can and cannot be done, but your original post sounded as through the guy had fitted out the kitchen - which wouldn't be possible!

However, as this thread is apparently a wind up, it's all become hypothetical anyway. :wall:

Lin

You need to go and read it again... I clearly said: "I had a carpenter in a wheelchair with no legs who was also left paralysed after a motorcycle crash fit my kitchen counters single handed and he did a fantastic job."

malebolge

MUMZ2BEE wrote: »

I am totally appalled at some of the comments I have received!!

I need some help as I have no working kitchen and some comments are really quite disgusting!!

Its out of order I have had no working kitchen for 6 months, no washing machine since March!!

This site is very uncaring!!

This site is not uncaring. It has given me good advice and allowed me to share experiences and advice with others.
OK - bit of straight talking. You either are a troll, or you're not. I don't know you, so I don't know for certain either way.
If you are a troll, posting on a site for disabled people and carers is pretty tragic. Not sure what sort of pleasure a person could derive from doing that, but it's not one that appeals to me.
If you're not a troll, then you're in the position of not having a working kitchen and feel frustrated. There's ways and ways of asking for advice though, and you've not endeared yourself to many, really, by calling your partner lazy, asking about council housing when you own a bungalow, then proclaiming your disability using way too many exclamation marks.
Practically, you could make life easier for yourself in the short term by, as someone suggested, using disposable plates. You do not have to wash up using the bath. There are other practical solutions to things that can be sorted reasonably easily - been there, done most, got the tee shirt.
So you've got heart problems and can't lift. Who's expecting you to? My heart's basically !!!!!!ed too, part of the reason I'm now in a wheelchair, and I have a plethora of other conditions. If I was a horse, I'd have been shot ages ago. So - my husband doesn't expect me to heavy lift. But I don't expect him to have to do everything either. There has to be give & take, and talking in a partnership - he's not just there to go to work and then work non-stop when he comes home.
Equally, you have needs, and you should talk them over with him. Not in a shouty, 'I need help I'm disabled' way, but calmly, honestly and with a sense of humour. He might have reasons for abandoning the kitchen, he might, as you say, be lazy. But you do need to find out because otherwise you'll make both of you very unhappy just sat seething about it.