Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

Gingernutty,

If you sign up for the singing lessons, I will sign up for the exercise class that I want to do but keep putting off for various pathetic reasons (not good around any people, would I even be able to get clothes that fit).

thorsoak

Please excuse me for butting in ...I've followed this thread for a long long time without ever contributing to it -you are all very brave and strong people coping with much, and I am in awe of he way you cope.

Waves and Smiles - I've just had a lightbulb moment which may or may not have already occured to you - as you can only go out when you are covered up - and then don't want to draw excess attention to yourself - have you thought about a burqua? Please don't think I'm trying to be funny or offensive - that is far from my thoughts - just a genuine suggestion. x

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, hello Gingernutty, I recognise you from your other threads, you have really been through it the last few years.

When things feel overwhelming I find it useful to make a list of things I can and can't change first of all. For example, you can't go to the gym if you have Labyrinthitis. I had flu all over Christmas myself and I know how miserable it is. You also can't do much about the state of the area you live in, I say that as someone who lives in the ghetto. I know how you feel.

Is it maybe time to start looking around for another job? There is no harm in seeing what is on offer, even knowing that there are other options out there might make the current one feel more bearable.

Your house situation must be so frustrating. How much of an urgency to sell is there? I can fully understand why you would want to, I remember your thread about your neighbours children, too. Is that any better? (I am not a crazy stalker, I just read practically every post on here!). Do make sure you shop around for the work you need done and get the best deal you can.

Is there anything that you can plan to do for a treat for yourself? It sounds like useless advice but I find when everything seems depressing it can help to have a treat, even better if it is something I wouldn't normally do/have. Even a night planned to snuggle under a blanket with a film you haven't seen may make you feel better because it's a change and something that you are doing for you. Maybe give the singing another try, I bet everyone wants to crawl into a hole at first but I bet you would love it once you get into the swing of things.

Other than that I find talking helps. I am speaking as the person who has made 2,300 posts since last June! By all means pour everything out here, no one will ever judge you and we will always listen and try to help. Sometimes sharing things can make so much difference, it stops the thought whirring around in your head when you are alone.

Pyxis

Hello Mellymoo!:)


Gingernutty.....hey! Go straight back tomorrow and sign up for singing! It's grrrrrrreat! As Tony Tiger used to say!

Great fun!
Music and rhythm! Gym for the brain!
Using loads of muscles! (I always get warm when I sing!)
Oxygenating the brain!
Using the brain!
Endorphins!
Social life! (Especially if they all go for a drink afterwards!)
Huge sense of achievement!
(You don't have to have a 'good' voice !)

Go, Gingernutty, go!

Waves_and_Smiles

Hello, Thorsoak! Thank you so much for posting! A burqua would actually help a lot and be far less obvious in a way than someone covered in a blanket in the middle of the street! I honestly think it might be worth trying, although I have no idea where to get one from. I shall have to look that up. It would be especially useful in the summer months because I am permanently hot and in summer a blanket is almost unbearable for me.

Gingernutty

Hi guys.

Believe me, I'm looking for other jobs.

My problem is, if I stay in the NHS, then I need 3 or 5 years worth of references.

That means to avoid Psycho Boss being a referee (and trust me, I want to avoid that), I must keep my current job until 31/01/16 at the very earliest or until 31/01/18.

If I apply for work out in the 'real world' then I may need up to 10 years worth of references.

There's no urgency to sell, I'm just fed up where I am. The mortgage is paid but I really don't want another Summer like the one I've just had.

I would have to move out while the work is being done - perhaps to a flat nearer to work. My employer has newly built apartment accommodation which it rents out to staff. I could move out there.

I was a classically trained singer in my teens - like a lot of people with childhood hobbies/activities, it all stopped when I left school.

Thanks for the encouraging words.

System

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Funnily enough, my unusual reaction to medication is mostly that it makes me fall asleep. If I could get a sleeping pill for the journey I would likely be out cold for the whole thing. I am now wondering if my GP would consider it...

WaS my sister used to get really travel sick on most journeys and i remember she had a wristband type thing she wore that helped, i've found this one http://www.boots.com/en/Boots-Adult-Travel-Bands-1-Pair-12-years-_1121524/ which is similar, i think it works on the idea of acupressure or something.

Joanthebone

WaS, you can get a burqa on eBay


http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Black-Saudi-Niqab-veil-burqa-face-cover-Hijab-Abaya-/150364411053?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item23026ad4ad

tea_lover

Gingernutty - big hugs xx. If you feel able, do think seriously about the singing lessons. Singing is fantasic for you in lots of ways - physically and mentally. During a lesson you're concentrating on the singing alone, your brain is focused, your breathing improves... all good.

I've got a lot going on too (sucks doesn't it). Am facing redundancy again, my relationship is over and we need to start the process of actually splitting up, looks like we'll have to sell the house (was going to buy OH out but can't afford that now). The best thing I've done through this time is start flute lessons again. It's pure escapism and probably the only thing keeping me sane-ish for now.

elsien

Gingernutty, its probably all feeling so overwhelming because you're physically run down and your resources are exhausted. Maybe it's time to try to stop looking at the bigger picture and focus on smaller more manageable bits.
For example, you're not ready to sell so at the moment the effect JK is having on saleability is irrelevant. So that's less of a right now problem than getting your physical strength back. Finding things you enjoy and which will make you feel better will make the cack at work impact less than if there's nothing to look forward to.
Deal with the bits you can, and put the rest to one side till you're in a better place to think about them. If you're more isolated at work, is there any other way of networking or keeping in touch with colleagues so you're not feeling quite so alone?
And we can both live in hope that some JK legislation comes in sooner rather than later - ours has got as far as next doors garden.
But it's currently a situation I can do nothing about, so its on the back burner for a bit.
I quite fancy joining a singing group but I sound like someone's strangled the cat - not sure I'm ready to inflict it on anyone else, so the shower it is. What sort of group is the one you're looking at? If it helps, my mum really struggles with talking to new people. She sat outside the gym for nearly an hour plucking up courage to go in. Now she's made loads of new friends - that shared interest makes all the difference when it comes to breaking the ice. Give it a go, tell us what you're singing, then I can warble along at home.

Re the burqa, I think this may have been mentioned before, but WaS may need to think carefully about where she wears it - in the current climate it can trigger verbal abuse towards the wearer, unfortunately I've seen it happen.