Just needed to be heard for a little while

haybel19

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

thank you oldestgnome, i'm going to try some of those

elsien, for me virtual hugs are good, i know not everyone is huggy but they make me feel warm and fuzzy and not so alone

Little one is poorly with a rotten virus and cannot sleep- we are watching frozen and you last sentence reminded me of one of the characters- Olaf a snowman "I like warm hugs".

If you have not see this film Messed up then you should- it is great for distracting be it poorly 2 year olds or stressed out Mummies as you find yourself singing along and become engrossed.

jobbingmusician

*waves to all*

Sorry I've been so absent this week. I have rehearsals last night and tomorrow, and a meeting followed by a social this evening.

Reasons to be delighted... WaS's appointment went well, and LIR still has a bouncy and happy dog for a few more weeks. Where we are living, our lovely neighbour has a dog who is sort of half ours - I have known her since she was a puppy and she's always loved me (she used to wee with excitement every time she saw me, and didn't do this for anyone else!) She is an old, old lady now, and we are looking after her in the daytime one week in two. She's confused and half blind but still seems happy to be made a fuss of sometimes, but we are all preparing ourselves. In fact I saw someone at the meeting this evening who we found knows her (everyone locally knows this dog!) and could hardly believe she is still alive :eek:

Waves_and_Smiles

Have a warm hug, MU. I always have a few spare.

Please give Big Dog a big cuddly hug from me, LIR. I am so pleased you have her for a little longer.

Poor TM, haybel! She has been through the wars lately. I should get myself a copy of Frozen, I have never seen it or heard one of the songs!

What are you rehearsing for, JM? Your doggie friend sounds adorable, I had a dog friend many years ago who used to come into our local pub. He would always come and find me and sit there with his head on my knee staring at me adoringly, I thought the world of him and he seemed to feel the same about me!

System

haybel19 wrote: »

Little one is poorly with a rotten virus and cannot sleep- we are watching frozen and you last sentence reminded me of one of the characters- Olaf a snowman "I like warm hugs".

If you have not see this film Messed up then you should- it is great for distracting be it poorly 2 year olds or stressed out Mummies as you find yourself singing along and become engrossed.

Hope LO feels better soon and has a speedy recovery, its horrible being ill at any age

And i LOVE Frozen, actually come to think of it that is one thing i do when my mood is low, i binge watch Disney films

and thank you for the hug WaS

jobbingmusician

We are doing a lovely opera quite soon I won't be more specific on an open thread for obvious reasons

System

jobbingmusician wrote: »

We are doing a lovely opera quite soon I won't be more specific on an open thread for obvious reasons

Hope you enjoy it JM

I've never been to/seen an Opera before

Waves_and_Smiles

Oh, that sounds lovely JM! I used to date someone who worked at The Coliseum in London and went to a lot of free-to-me operas. I remember when I went to the first one as a naive 18 year old, I had no idea what people wore so turned up in an evening dress, everyone was in jeans. That was embarrassing. I was also amazed by how long it lasted, I really enjoyed it but I was thinking of two 45 minute performances, not three and half hours! I am glad I got to experience so many at such a young age!

Ps. MU. If you ever go to one do not wear evening dress. People will stare a lot.

Pyxis

oystercatcher wrote: »

Had a rubbish afternoon, don't want to explain it all but ended up so miserable after it so have overdosed on chocolate ice cream
This has made me think, there's been a few mentions on here of using food, alcohol, self harm and maybe other stuff when we feel miserable. There must be some good healthy ways to cheer oneself up when feeling awful but I racked my brains and can't think of anything ......
Any other ideas ?

I once heard the way to tell the difference between a bad cold and flu. It's the ten-pound note test. There's a ten-pound note that has blown into your front garden. If you have a bad cold, you will drag yourself out there to pick it up. If you have flu, you won't be able to drag yourself out there, and you really won't care anyway.

I can't speak for self-harming, not ever having done that, but with regard to anxiety/depression, coping strategies depend on whether one has the mental equivalent of a bad cold or flu.

With the 'bad cold' sort, validation and hugs work best for me. (Unfortunately, I rarely get either in RL! )
Also effective, if a bit temporary, is putting on a feelgood playlist, of strong upbeat, rock'n'roll, Zumba-type songs.
Having a laugh on MSE helps, too. Very dependent on what thread you're on, though!
Carrying on with daily life, with my activities, particularly classes that I normally enjoy, etc., and above all, Zumba classes, which combines music, exercise and a degree of social interaction.
'Pretending' to feel ok, or if you like, 'acting' the part of being ok, can really help the 'bad cold' type.
Also, research has shown that if you make your facial muscles form a smile, even though it's a false smile, it eventually releases endorphins. True!

However, coping strategies don't really work during a 'flu'-type episode, as there isn't the strength. The exhaustion is overpowering. What would work best of all is validation.
So many people think that giving validation is pandering to the victim/patient mentality, enabling the depressed/anxious state and encouraging the depressive/anxious behaviour. But in some circumstances, particularly where there have been years and years of an almost-empty self-esteem 'glass', it is like giving bread to a starving person. The good it does is unbelievable! Whereas the usual gee-ing up approach, like 'you'll be fine', or worse, 'you've nothing to be down about', 'look at what a good life you have, that lots of people don't have', 'stop wallowing' or 'it's all about you, isn't it?' makes the problem infinitely worse, and empties the 'glass' completely.
Validation pours a great dollop back into the glass; it's like the sun coming out during a ghastly black rainstorm.
Add some hugs as well, and you've got a lovely rainbow, too!

elsien wrote: »

I'm not generally a Kipling fan, but his power of the dog poem says it all for me.
Am having a bit if an urgh couple of days for no obvious reason, so I've just blown the budget and booked a spa day. Decided I needed a treat. I hate winter.

Save me a place in the hot tub! I'll fetch my cozzie!

What's the power of the dog poem?



MessedUp, choose your first opera wisely! I would recommend a comic one to start with, and definitely one that is either in English or with subtitles. The ones that are broadcast into cinemas from the Met,or similar, are good in that respect, because you get close-ups and very good subtitles. Maybe the Marriage of Figaro or the Barber of Seville.

Steer clear of Wagner until you know you really like Opera!


Ps. Am wondering if anyone can recommend a powerful SAD lightbox? I'm willing to pay a bit more for a good one that I don't have to sit right on top of.

jobbingmusician

Oh dear, Pyxis, they are sooo horribly expensive!

I was incredibly lucky - I was offered one of these http://www.amazon.co.uk/Philips-HF3330-goLITE-Energy-Light/dp/B002G1Y8S6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1415777528&sr=8-1&keywords=philips+sad+light by bzzz if i wrote reviews and buzzed about it. I think I paid £50 to take part in that trial, but I had always wanted a SAD lamp. I can report it really did (and presumably does, although I'm not that good about using it) make a difference - not noticeably to my mood (which was more or less OK to start with) but noticeably to my sleep patterns. I still have it on my office windowsill, and it comes on just before I leave at about 5pm. It does have a fault with the timing mechanism and I can't turn it off, so it comes on for an hour a day even in the summer. However, I suspect they sent out faulty ones to bzz members.

I would certainly recommend it for portability and power - you don't have to look at it, you just have it on in the room!

Pyxis

Here is the regular etiquette re-post:-

Pyxis wrote: »

.........:starmod:......................................................................:starmod:.....................
Here is the suggested THREAD ETIQUETTE. By following this etiquette, all posters, whether new or existing, will feel safe, unpressured and respected..

- This is a thread for support. We have discovered some good friends on here, but we promise always to welcome and include new people, and not to be cliquey.

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Then LEAVE IT for at least an hour to allow people to respond. Then, when you post, repost the word PENGUIN above the discussion. Then post the penguiny bit in white! And the phrase END OF PENGUIN when you have finished.

It will look like this. You will be able to see the white text if you highlight it or if you quote it (so please don't quote a penguin!)

PENGUIN

This is a penguin. A nasty, crotch biting penguin (CBT).
It isn't really, you can look. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozGTv0hxhpc[/url]
END OF PENGUIN




IMPORTANT: It has been ascertained that some posters to this thread have found that there are certain subjects which act as triggers, precipitating a worsening of their condition.
To protect these posters, you are respectfully requested NOT to discuss these subjects on this thread:-

Religion. (Please note: it is recognised that everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and we respect those beliefs. It is only because of the fact that religion does act as a trigger for some posters, that we exclude it from discussion.)
N.B. Please don't even mention the name of the religion.

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We ask and thank you for your co-operation in this matter.


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It should be pointed out that if anyone is feeling very distressed or close to a crisis, they do not have to worry about what they are posting, or whether it is a penguin for someone else or not. In a crisis situation, just post! We wouldn't want anyone to feel that they couldn't ask for help in case it's a penguin! The penguin thing only applies to a general discussion situation.

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