Just needed to be heard for a little while

haybel19

Pyxis wrote: »

Of course you will have us, Haybel! That's what this thread is all about! :A

Thank you Pyxis. I hope one day I am brave enough to try.

haybel19

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Of course you will have us, haybel! There is no getting rid of us now!

I understand completely code. I used to find my friends giving birth incredibly hard and absolutely dread when they wanted me to meet the babies. Not because I didn't want to but because I was afraid that I would just burst into tears on the spot. It magnifies your own feelings so much. I did manage to come to terms with it but I can feel it getting worse again because I know menopause will be soon. I agreed with my doctors that it would be a huge risk for me and baby if I was ever pregnant, I knew that despite the best of my intentions a child would have a difficult life with me and didn't want to repeat even a tiny bit of my past and knew I was making the right choice. Now I will soon have the door slammed in my face permanently? Yep, still hurts.

You can always talk here no matter how you feeling, we are always interested and here to support you.

Thank you WaS.

And huge big hugs.

Waves_and_Smiles

Funny point of the day- I have just ordered WaSp a small flowering cactus (his favourite plant) to arrive on his birthday on Monday. We were discussing MIL's birthday and he said he finds it sad that women never think to send men plants or flowers and no one has ever sent him one. That situation has been remedied! The downside of this is WaSp is the kiss of death to plants and they die if he just looks at them so I shall have to take care of it. But at least he will get what he has always wanted!

codemonkey

haybel19 wrote: »

Aww thank you Codemonkey - sorry I hope I did not in anyway sound insensitive. Before I had my daughter I had two miscarriages and it took a long time to get my beautiful girl- I remember the sting when others tell you their news only too well- of course you happy for them but it still hurts. With my second miscarriage my close friend was a couple a months ahead of me and it really hurt when her little one was born but mine was lost. I was exceptional lucky to get my girl and remember that every single day. I am know our situations are different but I always have an ear and a shoulder should you wish.

I hope that sounded ok.

Absolutely not insensitive at all. As far as I'm concerned they're two separate issues which can't be compared really. I don't expect everyone with children to be problem free because they 'should be grateful they have one', or anything like that. I sympathise completely with the PTSD - I actually have a couple of friends who went through that and I know how horrible it was for them. I love to hear about other people's kids. Just having a wee grump is all.

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Of course you will have us, haybel! There is no getting rid of us now!

I understand completely code. I used to find my friends giving birth incredibly hard and absolutely dread when they wanted me to meet the babies. Not because I didn't want to but because I was afraid that I would just burst into tears on the spot. It magnifies your own feelings so much. I did manage to come to terms with it but I can feel it getting worse again because I know menopause will be soon. I agreed with my doctors that it would be a huge risk for me and baby if I was ever pregnant, I knew that despite the best of my intentions a child would have a difficult life with me and didn't want to repeat even a tiny bit of my past and knew I was making the right choice. Now I will soon have the door slammed in my face permanently? Yep, still hurts.

You can always talk here no matter how you feeling, we are always interested and here to support you.

Ah sorry, WaS. Didn't mean to bring up any bad stuff for you. As for babies, once they're born and I've met them, I don't feel bad anymore. To be perfectly honest, newborns bore the crap out of me and there are advantages to being an auntie. Like planning what loud/messy annoying fun stuff I can buy for their Christmas :rotfl:

Maybe one day we can move on and think about adopting a kid who hasn't had a great start in life and give them a more safe, secure life. That's a long way down the track though.

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Funny point of the day- I have just ordered WaSp a small flowering cactus (his favourite plant) to arrive on his birthday on Monday. We were discussing MIL's birthday and he said he finds it sad that women never think to send men plants or flowers and no one has ever sent him one. That situation has been remedied! The downside of this is WaSp is the kiss of death to plants and they die if he just looks at them so I shall have to take care of it. But at least he will get what he has always wanted!

Aww that sounds lovely WaS. Luckily, cacti are quite hard to kill. I am now thinking of WaSp in cowboy boots and a hat because he likes cactus.

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahahaha! believe me, he can kill anything green! He follows the instructions to the letter and the poor plant is dead in two weeks. It's him! He's the kiss of death! He has always loved cacti, I had a few when we he met me and he would admire them for hours. I think that he will be happy and appreciate the sentiment.

Don't worry, you didn't upset me! I was just letting you know that I understand. I quite like toddlers, they are so sweet at that age and the tantrums make me giggle. I looked after a little boy from 6 months to 5 years and I adored watching him grow. I am very glad that I did that because I had him from morning to night, 5 days a week for years and I got to experience bringing up a child. I wouldn't swap that time for anything.

codemonkey

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Hahahahaha! believe me, he can kill anything green! He follows the instructions to the letter and the poor plant is dead in two weeks. It's him! He's the kiss of death! He has always loved cacti, I had a few when we he met me and he would admire them for hours. I think that he will be happy and appreciate the sentiment.

Don't worry, you didn't upset me! I was just letting you know that I understand. I quite like toddlers, they are so sweet at that age and the tantrums make me giggle. I looked after a little boy from 6 months to 5 years and I adored watching him grow. I am very glad that I did that because I had him from morning to night, 5 days a week for years and I got to experience bringing up a child. I wouldn't swap that time for anything.

I'm sure he'll love it. It's a very thoughtful present.

I like toddlers too. I used to look after the family kids and some of my happiest memories involve being on the couch watching Disney films with them snuggled up next to me.

seven-day-weekend

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Funny point of the day- I have just ordered WaSp a small flowering cactus (his favourite plant) to arrive on his birthday on Monday. We were discussing MIL's birthday and he said he finds it sad that women never think to send men plants or flowers and no one has ever sent him one. That situation has been remedied! The downside of this is WaSp is the kiss of death to plants and they die if he just looks at them so I shall have to take care of it. But at least he will get what he has always wanted!

Just remember cacti like desert followed by deluge and a sunny spot. Never let them sit in water for more than an hour and it should be OK

whitewing

I love cacti too. I had one called Eric that only flowered once every seven years. I think it must have died while I was at uni.

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you SDW, that isn't dissimilar to my Java plant which I have been growing for around 8 years. He is still only little, it will take 30 years for him to be a proper size! I am deeply fond of him.

Aw, that is sad about Eric, whitewing. I do love plants and am normally quite good with them, I can't recall any deaths at my hands. I find them very soothing. When I was a teenager my tutor gave me a spider plant. It proceeded to have babies which I re-potted and then they had some, too. I had over 30 in the end all over the flat, some were enormous! She then gave me pansies, geraniums and cacti and I loved those, too. One thing about me being in charge of the household meant that the flat was like a greenhouse. I was a weird teenager.

elsien

Gratuitous weekend photo. Entitled "Bin raiding? Me? Absolutely not!"



(Tomato, in case anyone is wondering. And please don't look too closely at the state of the kitchen floor. )