Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

I like Penguin because it reminds us that not everything is black and white

Waves_and_Smiles

Really good point, whitewing! I hadn't got beyond the fact that I like penguins, you put that so much better!

elsien

No, I think your interpretation is right. It's probably me !!!!! footing round a bit and not being sure where the line is, if there is one. And that is going to be different for different people and what they are ready to share anyway. I don't generally have a problem telling people they're overstepping the mark for myself, but at work I've had to do it on behalf of other people and then I worry that I'm stepping in too quick/being a bit controlling. Which I think is probably where my perspective was coming from.


I do very much like the idea of extreme penguining, btw.


Edit- my thanks button keeps doing a vanishing act - anyone else finding this?

Waves_and_Smiles

I do understand what you mean elsien, me and my whole need to be needed thing means that I try to protect everyone. My poor psychotherapist almost told me weekly to stop being everyone's guardian angel (I still do it).

I am hoping that we can phrase it in a way that makes it clear what it means, not for curious questions or gentle reminders when someone is open about their illness but for when people may not be ready to be to deal with or say things quite yet. If they are new to the thread, for example or if they haven't yet said much about themselves.

JM or someone should word that incidentally, if I do it I will end up writing 5 paragraphs. Short and concise isn't my thing you may have noticed!

For some reason I am now imagining penguins in wetsuits doing extreme sports...

jobbingmusician

Yes, I agree that penguins need lots of discussion (I love them too!) :rotfl:

Ummm - one way I thought they might work is that if there were guardian angels on here who penguined too often, they might be able to be open like WaS and say 'penguin, or am I just doing my GA thing again?'. I think it's a real given that everyone who has posted on here has a heart as big as a planet, and we've built up some trust. We know everyone is trying to help, so if about three people rushed in and said PENGUIN, I'm hoping the poster who had made the penguin remark or asked the p question wouldn't be upset to find that a real person (a whole penguin) or two overenthusiastic GAs (half a penguin each ) had felt this was a penguin moment.

Does ANY of that make any sense? Is penguin really spelt like that? I've never written it so often before, and it's beginning to look odd.......:p

elsien

The need to be needed ties in with the whole caring thing, doesn't it. Kind of like children who've been through care going on to be social workers. I have wondered how much is down to personality and how much to environmental influences. My siblings and I are very different in that respect, although upbringing wise it was very similar.

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaa that is so me, JM!

"Penguin! Or that might be me being a guardian angel. In which case ignore me...or not if it helped! But you don't have to! Ok, I'll be in a corner hugging a pug..."

I certainly wouldn't mind someone saying penguin to me. I may say "where?!" and get excited though...

elsien

Proportional penguins! I feel whole flight of fancy coming on at this point. Or as penguins don't fly, do I need a different idiom?


I'll shut up now before I derail this completely. But going back to JM's original post, whatever helps people to feel safe and join in.

jobbingmusician

a waddle of fancy? Love it!

Waves_and_Smiles

Funnily enough elsien your comment is totally accurate in my case, spookily so. When I was in care there was an autistic boy. Everyone pretty much ignored him but he and I really bonded and ended up sorting playing cards together for hours every night. He would also sit on my lap which was a rare show of affection from him. One of the support workers commented that I was very good with him and asked if I had ever considered working in that field? That is the incident that formed my future career.