Just needed to be heard for a little while

elsien

Putting your box file in the cupboard of doom is fine, you'll know where to find it when the next bill arrives.
You could always ask here about scary cushion items instead. We won't get frustrated because we like the you that you are now - its the only you we know.

dibuzz

A couple of box files for paperwork sound like something that should belong in your cupboard so don't be scared to put things back in it and you aren't useless at all. What did you do to solve it? You asked on here where you knew people would quickly advise you, sounds pretty clever to me.

Waves_and_Smiles

Awww, thank you everyone. The box file is now in the cupboard of doom. My partner does have a desk and it would be an idea to put papers in it! Right now my medical notes and other important papers are in piles of plastic bags I am ashamed to say, and there are a few stuffed behind the cushion (Cushion of Great Anxiety?) because I couldn't work out which specific bag they belong in.

I was thinking of maybe a lucky dip once a day behind the cushion and asking here what to do with each item. I reckon there are at least 20 homeless things behind there.

Because I have a habit of hiding things when I panic it is very hard to find things when I need them. It happens so often that when I put something away appropriately the first time I actually feel excited. The confusion is hard to describe, you know when people say that their head feels like it's stuffed with cotton wool? Well, mine actually feels like that. There is a huge pressure inside my skull and my head feels 'full', I get an ache behind my eyes which can turn quickly into a headache and while I try to think I lose my ability to do other things, such as if I am holding a cup I might suddenly drop it, or forget what I was doing at the time or become unable to speak because the words get confused and come out as gibberish.

I am just mentioning that in case anyone has something similar so they know they aren't alone with it (I'd also like to know that I am not alone with it). I have no idea if types of dementia feel like this but it's like if I forget one thing them everything else goes, too and it takes a while to get my thoughts back in order. The longer I try to fight it the longer I have to sit still afterwards and regather my thoughts. It is quite scary as it feels physical, as if something is blocking thoughts inside my head and I can feel the pressure behind my eyes.

I did have CBT for this a while where the therapist came into my house and we worked on items that were there. We also worked on keeping me calm by teaching me how to prompt myself when the confusion started. It has helped a bit but I can't even think of the exercises when the full head feeling starts. She said it was cognitive as a result of long-term medication use and my conditions which was a relief as I really thought that it was dementia for a while.

elsien

I got that feeling slightly although not to anywhere near the same extent when I was stressed at work. So much going through my head, deadlines, timescales, too much work and not enough time, that my brain basically seized up. Not nice, is it.

lostinrates

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Awww, thank you everyone. The box file is now in the cupboard of doom. My partner does have a desk and it would be an idea to put papers in it! Right now my medical notes and other important papers are in piles of plastic bags I am ashamed to say, and there are a few stuffed behind the cushion (Cushion of Great Anxiety?) because I couldn't work out which specific bag they belong in.
I get this and have no excuse or reason for it
I was thinking of maybe a lucky dip once a day behind the cushion and asking here what to do with each item. I reckon there are at least 20 homeless things behind there.lets do it:D

Because I have a habit of hiding things when I panic it is very hard to find things when I need them. It happens so often that when I put something away appropriately the first time I actually feel excited. The confusion is hard to describe, you know when people say that their head feels like it's stuffed with cotton wool? Well, mine actually feels like that. There is a huge pressure inside my skull and my head feels 'full', I get an ache behind my eyes which can turn quickly into a headache and while I try to think I lose my ability to do other things, such as if I am holding a cup I might suddenly drop it, or forget what I was doing at the time or become unable to speak because the words get confused and come out as gibberish.what causes this? Edited now Was has read, not meaning to be rude but I feel exposed revealing details of health. .

I am just mentioning that in case anyone has something similar so they know they aren't alone with it (I'd also like to know that I am not alone with it). I have no idea if types of dementia feel like this but it's like if I forget one thing them everything else goes, too and it takes a while to get my thoughts back in order. The longer I try to fight it the longer I have to sit still afterwards and regather my thoughts. It is quite scary as it feels physical, as if something is blocking thoughts inside my head and I can feel the pressure behind my eyes.

I have memory problems. I used to use a white board. I have lists and lists. I also can no longer cope so well with multiple stimuli ( this is a newish development) so not sure how I'll cope at large social functions now. Eg, I used to read while listening to music, I cannot do that now. I didn't find our relaxed gathering here at the weekend hard ( just tiring) but I worry at something formal the problem of following different conversation, coping with background music, stress, health etc might all be a bit confusing. This would be very odd, I consider the real me a social animal, not the hermit I am now!

The other day I forgot my PIN number in the supermarket and almost burst into tears. I have had the PIN number more than have my life. I also am prone to giving out the wrong phone number. I can remember my post cost code from when I was at school, but struggle with this one.

Waves_and_Smiles

It isn't at all, so sorry you felt that. It does feel like something my head as ground to a halt and then every thought stops and there is just pressure, an ache and confusion. This is one of the reasons why I don't cook anymore because it can happen with something as simple as where to put a spoon after I have stirred dinner and then if I am holding a pan I am likely to drop it. One one memorable occasion I got confused about where to put plates so while still thinking of that I decided to get the food out of the oven first which I did with my bare hands. That was a very painful wake up call that cooking wasn't really for me without supervision anymore.

Waves_and_Smiles

I give out the wrong phone number all of the time, LIR. I can write it correctly for months and suddenly it will go for another few months and I have to relearn it. I also have problems with writing and pronouncing words. I will suddenly forget how to write and/or say and a word that I have used for years and it isn't as simple as just forgetting, I have to relearn it from scratch as if I have never seen it before. The last one I lost was with. I had no idea what it meant or how to use it in a sentence and had to look up how it was used and practice with it. Little things like that happen all of the time, words just disappear.

My Endocrinologist is curious about the memory problem because although the Hashimoto's disease can cause memory lapses it shouldn't be this bad. He has mentioned referrals to other departments but hasn't done it so far. It is also much worse than it was when I had CBT to try and manage it.

Ok, that's a deal. One item from behind the cushion a day. I dare not try more often because it distresses me so much and I hate the swelling feeling and pressure in my head that follows but I shall give it a try!

lostinrates

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

I give out the wrong phone number all of the time, LIR. I can write it correctly for months and suddenly it will go for another few months and I have to relearn it. I also have problems with writing and pronouncing words. I will suddenly forget how to write and/or say and a word that I have used for years and it isn't as simple as just forgetting, I have to relearn it from scratch as if I have never seen it before.] The last one I lost was with. I had no idea what it meant or how to use it in a sentence and had to look up how it was used and practice with it. Little things like that happen all of the time, words just disappear.

mine can be like that but more often I know the word exists and I cannot find it. If I can get near it a thesaurus can help, but google image helps a lot.

My Endocrinologist is curious about the memory problem because although the Hashimoto's disease can cause memory lapses it shouldn't be this bad. He has mentioned referrals to other departments but hasn't done it so far. It is also much worse than it was when I had CBT to try and manage it.
mine is neurological. My hormones were raised as possibly contributory and then the ( rofl, have lost word...consulting dr PHYSITIAN. Sorry about spelling. But I got word! Funny timing, hey? Said stress is probably impacting too.


Ok, that's a deal. One item from behind the cushion a day. I dare not try more often because it distresses me so much and I hate the swelling feeling and pressure in my head that follows but I shall give it a try!

One item. Lucky dip, close eyes, reach in.

dibuzz

I get those feelings to some extent as well, especially when there is a lot going on. I've also become more and more forgetful, I have reminders on my phone for all sorts of things and have forgotten my credit card PIN yet again.
The other day I brought the washing in off the line, put it in the washing machine and switched it on, it was only when I went to take the dry washing upstairs that I realised what I'd done.

Waves_and_Smiles

Oh, and right on cue a letter from my eye consultant appears. It went straight behind the cushion because I can't deal with another panic this fast. That might be the first item to be dealt with tomorrow. The letter is interesting-

"In both eyes meibomian gland orifices were blocked and the lid margins are congested. She has a very poor tear film in both eyes with corneal abrasion in the left eye and congestion of the conjunctiva."

I won't even pretend I understand and keep using the pug drops...

It is a relief to know people have something similar, the memory lapses scare me quite a lot. not just because I forget things but because of the physical symptoms. If I concentrate beyond the ache behind my eyes I feel very dizzy and as if I am about to fall, hence everything goes behind the cushion as fast as possible.