Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

I was initially diagnosed with a mh condition at the age of 18. I was suffering from it a long time before that.

Over 20 years later, I have had my first full blood test, requested by a great GP. The very fact that she asked me about a blood test impressed me enormously. (Thyroid function may be low and I will be retested again).

ETA: yes, what is your birthstone, WaS? Can we use that as your 'password' on here for the psychotic episodes.

philbostavros

Wow

Firstly, can I join others in offering my support and best wishes.

You have shown great strength and resolve in dealing with your many problems.

What caught my attention though, was you having Addison's Disease, as I also suffer from this (since 2006). This potentially life threatening condition is, as you know, extremely rare and and often misunderstood by the medical profession. I am assuming that your endocrinologist is closely engaged with your other consultants?

A lot of people with Addisons get great support from the Addison's Disease Self Help Group (ADSHG), so just in case you've not already used this resource, I've posted the link to their website below. Their Living Well Forum is a great source of information and support, including posts from others who have multiple health problems.

http://www.addisons.org.uk/index.html

I hope this helps.

Lots of hugs too.
Phil

Pyxis

jobbingmusician wrote: »

Love it!


GO TEAM WAS! :smileyhea:smileyhea:smileyhea:rudolf::rudolf::rudolf:

(The reindeer are there just because it's my all time favourite smilie, even though I actually dislike Christmas!)

ETA: Sigh....this forum is really unreliable at displaying smilies, sorry!

Team WAS! I love that! (Maybe WaS might be better, to distinguish from 'was', and because 'and' only warrants a lower-case 'a'.:D)

Love the reindeer. Reindeer are for all year, not just for Christmas! (We'll ignore the red noses!)

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahahahaha, I can't stop laughing! and blushing! You lot are all so lovely, I have a team! Honestly, this absolutely made my day, thank you all so much! I think you are all wonderful!

My Addisons Disease is monitored by the same Endocrinologist as my thyroid disorder although it took a very long for me to be diagnosed and took me passing out before they managed it. Until that time I was craving salt, I would eat whole teaspoons straight out of the pot, I still crave it now. Thank you so much for the site link, I shall have a look.

At the time when my autoimmune disorders developed I was too mentally ill to do much but later I did ask a psychiatric specialist if it could be linked, his reply was there is no evidence to back that but we simply do not know enough. It seems very odd that 4 autoimmune disorders developed straight after schizophrenia within a year, almost as if something went physically wrong? Schizophrenia aside why do I have now, 5 autoimmune disorders? Is this coincidence? I am told so but I question it. There is so much that we don't understand...

My birthstone is turquoise, what a lovely idea!

puppypants- Hugs to you or a handshake, depending what feels best. I also kept my demons in a box for a while. After I had finished therapy and was able to work I refused to see that anything was wrong with me and locked everything away. I 'had' schizophrenia for a good year before I got medical help, I stuffed all of the symptoms down and pretended that they didn't exist because I just didn't want to let go of what I had finally achieved. It is hard to look at our demons and I haven't always been the best at it. Take care and be gentle with yourself and I bet you are very brave, you are still living with those demons even if you have tucked them away, that's bravery right there.

Today I am a little better again. I find I cannot think of the worlds from the weekend, I feel myself slipping backwards and this world beginning to fade out. But that is ok, there will still be a little psychosis around for a while yet, I just need to focus on the here and now. This is business as usual for me after a psychotic break so it doesn't scare me. My partner recorded the latests incident with my psychiatrist today and I emailed him (I don't DO phones, but that's another story) so I have done all that I need to. Now I promised a post on how the coping skills during the psychosis, this will be forthcoming today.

whitewing

Lol, it had to be a hard-to-spell birthstone!


Turquoise!

Pyxis

Turquoise is beautiful!! It's one of my favourite colours! Combining blue and green, which are both healing colours! Very apt.:)



A prezzie for you!

Waves_and_Smiles

First of all a disclaimer. This is purely the best way to help me when I am in psychosis and was put together with a lot of trial and error between my psychiatrist, partner and myself. This is not a one size fits all technique, someone's psychosis is as different as their personality so what what works for me won't necessarily work for anyone else. If you feel unable to cope with psychosis go to a&e unless you have a plan worked out previously, it is way too dangerous to try to deal with on your own otherwise. Even in my case we carry out these techniques for 24 hours, if things haven't improved it is time to call an ambulance. I can't emphasise enough how careful you have to be.

The first thing to do is change my usual medication regime over to the crisis one. I am not going to explain much about that as I don't want people copying it, unless it has been agreed with your psychiatrist take your usual dosages. In my case I will follow the crisis regime for 5 days including the day of psychosis before reverting back to the usual maintenance dose. I am so used to taking medication that it is now autopilot for me, no matter how bad I feel if someone tells me to take a pill I do it on autopilot so there is no problem with getting me to take what I need.

Often my psychosis takes the form of catatonia, I will slowly move less and less until I stop moving entirely and I become locked in with my thoughts. At these times I will tighten every muscle in my body, if someone tries to move my arm there will be a lot of muscle resistance. This is agony for days afterwards (believe me, I am living off of pain meds right now) so my carers place heat pads onto my neck and back to try to ease some of the tension. The time to ask me what is happening is before the catatonia begins as obviously it is impossible to know what I am experiencing once I am fully within the episode so it is important to ask me what I am seeing and hearing right at the start. It is best to do this in a conversational way, saying "Oh my god, you are psychotic!" will make me panic and become even more scared, just calmly chatting to me about it works best.

I also find cuddly toys comforting so my carers surround me with them and place my hands onto them if they can, I am also covered in a blanket and a velvet cushion is placed behind my back. The feel of things becomes very important and when I 'come back' for brief periods I am acutely aware of how materials feel against my skin.

On that note I develop hyper-awareness. Every smell, sound and sight is magnified. Colours are far more vivid as to be painful, the slightest sound is enormous and echoes and is distorted, smells are incredibly strong and I also smell things that don't exist. So as well as giving me soft things to touch my carers will spray my favourite perfume, turn lights off when possible and let me sit in candlelight (darkness doesn't work either as I'll panic). Sometimes giving me strong but pleasant smells can help ground me, such as freshly cut oranges and lemons, even when I am in a different world the smell will sometimes get through and lead me to search for its source.

Talking to me also helps. But it has to be quiet and preferably not about what I am going through. I am usually aware to extent that I am in psychosis, I don't need to be reminded of it plus I can also think someone evil is giving me the wrong instructions to try and hurt me so the less said about what is happening the better. So talking to me about anything that is silly, pleasant or even dull can work, again I can sometimes follow the sound back home. At the weekend my partner told me all about his computer game and the add-ons he has put onto it, some of it I heard even in different worlds. It reassures me that I am not alone and that the real world still exists.

How I am touched is very important. My skin becomes very sensitive, just holding my wrist can feel like a very tight grip. Unless necessary it is better that I am not touched at all. However, as happened at the weekend I will sometimes try to harm myself. At these times restraining me will make things far worse as I likely won't realise that I am being kept safe and instead believe that someone in the other worlds is trying to kill me. So instead the technique we use to stop me doing whichever self harm activity I am attempting is for the carer to place their hands over mine. For example I was attempting to pull out fistfuls of hair so my partner placed his hands over my clenched fists and held my hands in place until I let go. I would see pulling my hands away at that as an attack and become very distressed.

When I begin to come back I will begin to ask questions that may or may not make much sense. Then it is fine to reassure me and tell me that I am not alone and offer a hand to hold, usually I will grab it thankfully. I am always very confused for a while so again lots of reassurance and reminding me that I am safe and perhaps a hot sweet drink. Often at this stage my sentences are also confused, I may say "I am feeling bunny skipping-rope" for example. I am very familiar with CBT techniques so it is often better to ask me to scale my anxiety and confusion as it is easier for me to just say a number. Also please don't point out that I haven't made sense, I am totally aware of this and frightened and embarrassed and will likely cry if it is mentioned. I am trying my hardest. I am always extremely tired and in a lot of pain due to the muscle contraction so letting me sleep for a while is a good idea. For the next couple of days the psychosis will lurk and I will be more anxious than normal, sounds, sights and smells can still be exaggerated and I usually have a persistent headache. I may still need to check if things are real sometimes. Also I will be very tired and need to nap a lot, this is also due to the medication increase. I will be in a lot of pain from the hours of muscle contraction and need to increase my pain medication and I pretty much hobble everywhere. After that things start to recede and within a week I am usually back to my usual self.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, thank you for the birthstones! I don't actually own anything made of turquoise, I should rectify that. I do think it is very pretty.

Pyxis

Thank you WaS for that lucid post.
Hugs to you.

Do you like having your hair stroked? I ask because it can be so relaxing. Dogs and cats are very lucky! Taking stroking a step further, have you ever had a head massage? Wow! Soooo soothing. I know it wouldn't be possible for a masseuse to visit you; do any of your carers do that sort of thing?

whitewing

I can thoroughly recommend an Indian Head Massage.