Fruitcake Neighbours

pimento

suse* wrote: »

Well no of course you're going to be annoyed, the point is though you're assuming this neighbour is doing this behaviour out of just spite or something. When she could have some mental illness where she really thought the fence was on fire, or that the people having the bbq are out to get her or all sorts. Only by cominucation I think you'll have a chance of trying to stop this escalalating, because if she was acting this way due to illness expecting her to suddently change into the perfect neighbour over night isn't relistic is it.

I think the OP said upthread that they have tried talking to her but she won't engage. How much slack should they cut her?

aileth

I also don't think she is doing what she's doing to my parents because of their behaviour, but more the fact that they're 'there.' She has done this to other people who have lived there in the past apparently, so she seems to be intent on driving neighbours away.

Landlord has now told her that if she continues like this and my parents leave because of it, she will turn it into a HMO for students

Pandilex

Goodness me so many people are defending the terrible behaviour of the neighbours and trying to attack the OP for not doing things right.

Please be realistic, OP just sounds like they're trying to have a BBQ. Not sure where all this nonsense about smoke etc. is coming from, if there is an issue the neighbour can just say hey guys there is a problem, not go ape with a hosepipe.

Try and be a bit sympathetic please!

If the neighbour does have a mental illness or whatever that doesn't mean what they're doing is acceptable, it just means they need help. The only way they're gonna get help is if OP does something about the predicament, by complaining etc.

A friend of mind had a sectioned neighbour that once accepted a £1000+ delivery from a courier that was for him cos he was out, then ripped the whole thing up and scattered it across the communal gardens. He showed me the photos :S The only way they're gonna get help is if people know about it.

I wonder how safe her kids are being raised by her.

topdaddy_2

suse* wrote: »

Well no of course you're going to be annoyed, the point is though you're assuming this neighbour is doing this behaviour out of just spite or something. When she could have some mental illness where she really thought the fence was on fire, or that the people having the bbq are out to get her or all sorts. Only by cominucation I think you'll have a chance of trying to stop this escalalating, because if she was acting this way due to illness expecting her to suddently change into the perfect neighbour over night isn't relistic is it.

Oh, thats ok then.:rotfl:

DaftyDuck

Pandilex wrote: »

Goodness me so many people are defending the terrible behaviour of the neighbours and trying to attack the OP for not doing things right........

I really only see one person defending her actions (and not really getting support from anyone - certainly not me - either) . Pretty much everybody else thinks, fruitcake or not, the neighbour's actions are utterly indefensible.

I think the only thing the OP's parents did do wrong was get a PCSO to deal with the matter, not a boot-stomping, door-walloping PC Plod. Like to see her turn a hose on him!

aileth: you & your parents have my utmost sympathy. My neighbour gets on my wick because him & his partner have such monotonous voices, and drone on and on and on and on in their garden ... That's how bad it is for me

AndyT678

suse* wrote: »

Well no of course you're going to be annoyed, the point is though you're assuming this neighbour is doing this behaviour out of just spite or something. When she could have some mental illness where she really thought the fence was on fire, or that the people having the bbq are out to get her or all sorts. Only by cominucation I think you'll have a chance of trying to stop this escalalating, because if she was acting this way due to illness expecting her to suddently change into the perfect neighbour over night isn't relistic is it.

Do you have a twin sister called Brenda by any chance?

LADYXXMACBETH

I'll support Suze. Even if se has no mental health issues as a victim of bad neighbours the behaviour of them eats away at you. What may appear to be quite innocent to most can cause a lot of distress for someone who for their own reasons does not see eye to eye with their neigbour.
I suspect that the neighbour probably does have some sort of mental health problem, and as such calling the police will possibly escalate the problem. I would consider calling social services and being a concerned neighbour. I'm not saying is acceptable to hose down someones barbecue but if se has mental health problems then tis could explain te behaviour.

suse*

I have reread what I have written and not once have I said that the lady with the hose did the right thing. So I am not sure why people are mentioning me saying I'm defending her or trying to imply I am troll of some sort.

I haven't said it is acceptable behaviour just the opposite, and tried to help with a possible reason for it. Even more so if the last people in the house had the same problem it obviously is a problem she has with everyone and not the op and their parents specifically.

Unless you talk though and try and get help, this situation is just likely to escalate. I was trying to offer help to the OP to stop that happening.

I'd recommend you talk to someone like http://www.ukmediation.net/have-you-got-conflict/problem-with-your-neighbour or http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/neighbourhood_issues/negotiation_and_mediation or go down the council, environment health, police route.

As I said before though if she has been like this for years by your own account she isn't going to get better over night, but by trying to improve lines of communication it could make a better living environment for all involved.

bouicca21

A degree of sympathy and understanding for someone with mental health issues is one thing, having to live with the results of their mental health problems is quite another.

Why would social services be interested? The woman does not appear to be a danger to herself or others. She is not bad enough to be sectioned. I suspect that the only option open to the OP's parents is to involve the police, and start a trail that will lead to something like an ASBO or non-molestation order.

aileth

Police have been involved now, as has the Council & my parents' landlord.

My dad works in the Mags and says what they're experiencing is very typical of neighbours who have appeared for harassment. He has no issues in taking it that far if she does anything like this again, then if she does have any more complex issues it'll be for the authorities to decide, not for my parents to diagnose.

Once again, communication does not work. This woman will not listen to anything, and I have experienced that with my own ears.