feels like I really need a change

Toucan_Pecan

lookback wrote: »

Hello All,

I would really appreciate some advice.

I have been with my girlfriend for around 4 years now. Things are ok but not great. We try to look after each other (she cooks, I clean, she listens and advises me when I have a bad day at work and I try do the same...etc) and I really appreciate having some company but that is all there is. I don't love her and don't see a future together. I sometimes feel extremely guilty for playing her along and then I try not to think too much into it and hope I will learn to love her or accept that this is what the type of relationship is.

I believe she likes me a lot more than I like her (which might not be true but its just the feeling I get). We have lots of minor arguments and sex between us is really bad (or should I say non-existent). We are quite opposite people and don't have a great deal to talk about on a deeper level. Money between us is a bit of a strange issue. We don't have a joint account and split more or less everything so sometimes I feel like I am with a mate rather than my partner. We went out for my birthday meal recently and even split the bill for that which felt a bit strange but I didn't say anything. We hardly give gifts to each other or things like that and their is very little romance or chemistry between us however we are their for each other.

I think we have stayed together more because of convenience rather than anything else - neither of us have family her and we have very few friends (in fact I don't think I have any friends here). Our lives have become very routine, wake up, go work, come home, go gym, watch tv, eat, drink, sleep and then it starts all over again and it has started to make me feel really low, specially as all my mates from back home seem to getting married and moving on with life and I still feel extremely lost.

A part of me feels like I need to escape and need a change. I was feeling a bit low and when I hit the big 30 and though it was because of work, so quit my job, went travelling for a bit to find myself (which was a bit overrated) and changed jobs. I was doing ok for a while but a year on I feel the same as I did before.

I have been seriously considering quitting my job, breaking up my partner and moving to Australia to study in the next two months (I should mention I have a Australian passport). I am fed up of how things are playing out and kind of feel like I want to start living again. I have been working really hard for several years, live fairly frugally and try save hard. My job here is not bad, it pays well and it can be rewarding however I am a bit burnt out and a bit over it as I work nearly every day (some weeks 7 days but not ft). I have tried to cut down my shift but then end up working lots again as I start to feel guilty and also I have to admit the money drives me.

I have managed to save around 70K so money is not a big issue and I should be able to support myself if I did move and not have to work for a while. Another part of me says I am being stupid and should continue working, save money, buy a house, get married and stop kidding myself - I am no longer in my early twenties and should play my part.

What do you guys think?

You sound just like someone I know...