feels like I really need a change

Hermia

The relationship sounds dead to me and I think it's unfair to both of you to drag it on. You sound like you need shaking up, but don't make the mistake of thinking that running to Australia will solve everything. The fact that you changed jobs before and went travelling and it didn't change anything needs looking at. It could be you are depressed or it could be a personality trait. You don't want to go to Australia and then find that you get bored by the course or just end up in a rut again. So, get out, but think about what you want and why the life changes you made before didn't work.

sedment

Think you need to speak to your other half op, who is to say she isnt feeling exactly the same, stuck in a rut as you are?
Relationships can be very strange, its sounds like you care for her even love her but not in "that" way. In a sisterly or flatmate way.
But life is too short to live your life like that. But you need to take responsibilty for your own happiness. She might even thank you long term.

hazyjo

Before I say anything, I will point out that the grass is not always greener!!!!

Try and analyse it. What do you visualise yourself doing? Are you particularly outdoorsy?

When you sit there bored or fed up or wishing your life was taking another path, what do you see as an alternative? Because sitting watching telly in another country (especially a hot one!) will not make it better.

Sounds like there have been some major communication issues with your current partner. When you started living together (which it sounds like you do), did you not discuss finances? Maybe both putting money into an account (or even a tin!) to cover joint expenses - bills, meals/takeaways, etc?

The first bloke I lived with was like that. He always seemed to think he was being diddled, despite me being a very generous person. We'd even buy McDonalds separately! Some people are just like that. When we split, everything was considered 'joint' - including stuff my parents had bought for us like the video, microwave, etc - and we each chose what we'd take (as fairly as we could). However, he seemed to think that two old manky chests of drawers his sister had passed on were his! Funny how it's one rule for one and one for another!

Are you both renting together? How long remains on the lease/contract, or are you now on a rolling contract?

Jx

marisco_2

You are only in your early 30s. With no dependants and 70K in savings you quite literally have the world at your feet. There are so many opportunities and possibilities available to you. Only you can shake yourself up and find the drive to seek those out. Dont stay in a relationship with someone that you seem to not be compatible with, and which has clearly run its course. There is plenty of time to settle down and take on major responsibilities.

fannyanna

Go for it

It might not end up being what you expect it to be but you don't know unless you give it a go. You're clearly not happy with the current situation so what do you have to lose?

red_devil

you have just described most peoples lives!;)

peachyprice

red_devil wrote: »

you have just described most peoples lives!;)

Hell, not mine.

VJsmum

peachyprice wrote: »

Hell, not mine.

Nor mine - can't stand the gym!

Go for it - you won't be doing her any favours either by "trapping" her into a loveless relationship.

marisco_2

red_devil wrote: »

you have just described most peoples lives!;)

I sincerely hope not. If that were the case, then too many would be settling for a lesser life, than they could have and enjoy! It all comes down to an individual valueing themelves enough, and having confidence in their abilities, to know they are more than capable of carving out a fantastic future.

egoode

I think if you are in your 30's and have been in a relationship for 4 years and you aren't wanting to marry, have kids, or imagine spending the rest of your life with that person then the best thing you can do is end the relationship.